Couldn't figure out how to respond directly to your recent message to all members, but perhaps this is the good way...not that I have anything at all important to add, just that our situations were apparently similar, with a lovely husband who was enough older to see us as ever young. It's a very particular added suffering now, like I've suddenly aged twenty years. On top of all the minute by minute hits of loss, an extra ache. Sorry that you are in this pain -- personally I find it a bit reassuring when I find out that other bereaved people are having experiences like mine, hope that may be true for you as well.