I'm so sorry for your loss. There have been days where I feel like I'm just waiting to join my mother as well. But I know she wouldn't want that and I know your mother wouldn't want you to join her prematurely either.

I think sometimes when we lose a loved one we end up with an idealized version of them in our heads. I don't mean that your mother wasn't wonderful. I'm sure she was. I mean idealized in the sense that we stop thinking about them as a whole person. We just remember the good times. We forget about the times they yelled at us, embarrassed us, or disappointed us. I don't mean to say that that makes them bad people. It just makes them human. Ask yourself what your mother would really tell you if you told her that you didn't want to go on without her. It may be inspirational or it may even be something that makes you laugh. I think my mom would say something like, "Stop worrying about me. Get off your ass and start living your life again."

Sorry about my self-indulgent post. Writing it actually helped me a bit. I hope it helps you too. All the love in the world to you!

Ann I was reading many comments and yours struck me as very close to what I'm going through. My mom was a single mother and we had other family, but we live in another country and we had only each other. She died unexpectedly this year at 70 years old. I have no friends or a significant other, only my godparents who I know love me but I can't really connect with them. Life seems like now like an empty and lonely road from now on and I don't know if I'm going to be able to take it.

thanks Ann, probably you and me understand what we are going through and we might understand why we do things, but some people don't and they start to tell you to get over it.  I feel like I am falling apart and that I can't do nothing about it.

hi ann, i know this probably sounds cliche but i really understand  how u feel.  my mom went to heaven on feb 22, 2012.   i really hate the time going by cuz it makes it more real.  i dont want it to be real.  it seems impossible to me.  i never prepared for this.  i am 56 years old but i feel like a little girl grieving her mom. how to live without you here ma i will never get used to & i dont want to.

Hi Anne,

Sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. Grieving takes time. You need to get up and think positively. Your mon is in  heaven and she would not want to see you lonely and unhappy. Go out with your friends. Try to smile again. Pray and God will give u the strength.

hi Ann.  My heart truly goes out to you.  I know your loss.  You know, I really have been asking myself why do we keep going when they are all gone? There really isn't an answer that comes to mind.  Maybe the key is simply just not giving up until our time comes.  I don't even know if I believe that but it's another part of this lousy puzzle.