Angel, my name is Dale and I am in Cuenca, Ecuador.  My wife and I moved here in February when I retired. It is a beautiful place with lots of great people. We are both 63 years old and have been around the block a few times and have had many people who have died through out our lives. 

  The hardest death for me was also my father who died from a brain bleed. That was about 3 years ago. But then out of the blue, my brother got pancreatic cancer and it spread thru his body and at the end you could see it growing down his legs.  It only took 26 days from the diagnosis until his death about 2 years ago.  So I know the pain you feel now is really hard to deal with. I could tell you that is gets easier, but that isn't the case.  Although the grieving episodes get further apart with time it still hurts just as much. I still cry about my father when I see something on television that reminds me of him.

  Listen baby girl, I really sympathize and am truly sorry for your loss, especially being as young as you are.  But one thing you have to remember is that your mother and brother love you and need you more now than ever.  You need to draw closer now and support each other. Don't be afraid to cry. There is nothing wrong with crying. It is a form of healing. Even the Bible says "weep with those who weep".   Another words, you don't have to say anything, just hold each other and cry together.  It shows you care and you love them.

  You said that your mom doesn't know what to do. But right now she is grieving.  Let her grieve. She will figure it out.  She knows she must provide for you in the back of her mind.  But right now she need some time to think and all you can do is give her time and be there to support her.

  If I can, I would like to give you something to look at that I found comforting when my dad died, and really think about it. I am a Bible reader and these scriptures really comforted me.  I don't know if you believe in God or not or if you have a bible, but you can access the Bible on line at www.jw.org

 1.) Matthew 6:26 

 2.) Isaiah 41:10

 3.) 1 Peter 4:6

 4.) John 5:28

 5.) Psalms 37:10,11, and 29

  I didn't want to tell you what they say because I want you to read them for yourself so you can see that it is from Gods mouth that you are getting comforted and from the Bible, not from me.  After you read them, share them with your mother and your brother.  Even young minds need help dealing with such a loss.

  If you have any questions about these scriptures or you want to ask me anything else, please don't hesitate to email me back.  I would thoroughly enjoy hearing from you. 

  You might want to make a scrapbook of things that you and your family did together for later in your life before all the pictures get lost. It is always helpful to remember the good times you had with your family and with your father and making a scrapbook will bring those memories back and even now can make you laugh when you thing of something he said or did that was funny.  This will give your mom and brother and you an activity to do together that can pay off in the future, because I lost most of the pictures of my dad and now I don't have anything to look at.  Just a suggestion.

  Again, if I can help in any way, please let me know.

  I know we don't know each other yet, but I would be honored to talk with you again.  Just email me anytime.  If you want to private message me so it isn't on a public forum, you can accept my friend request and private message me here at onlinegriefsupport.com

Dale