Miranda

Female

Arlington, TX

United States

Profile Information:

About my Loss:
On October 1st,2012 my father succombed to throat cancer after a third diagnosis. In June he was told that it had came back and there was nothing that could be done to cure it. Our worlds were rocked to the core that day. One thing is for sure, my father was strong in his faith and wasn't afraid to die because he knew where he was going. That made watching him go through it all a little less painfu. He got his relief and isn't suffering any more.
I am my parent's only child and my kids were his world as much as I was. Every day somehow our memories of dad come up and we smile. His absence can be overwhelming for me. I don't feel like anyone understands or gets MY loss
Daddy was quite a character and that is what drew people to him, loving his zest for life. We were so alike that we budded heads often., but we both knew we loved each other tremendously. He was more than a man, more than a U.S. Marine. He WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY DADDY!!!!

Comment Wall:

  • Roberta Armendariz Madrid

    Hello Miranda. I am so sorry for you loss. I lost my dad 5 months ago. I understand a lot of the feelings you have expressed. I find it hard to believe that he is gone, and has been gone for as long as he has. It's not weird or wrong to know he is at peace. We have a long road ahead of us. Feel free to get in touch. Roberta.

    Oct 20, 2012

  • Miranda

    Thank you Roberta. It is sooo mych harder than I had ever imagined. I told my dad that I would be ok,but I am far from it. It has been 27 days since he passed away and all I think about is how he was here in June guving me bear hugs and now he's gone!!!! Why did I tell him that I would be ok without him? I lied to him I guess? My heart aches every moment of every day since October 1st....

    Oct 28, 2012

  • Roberta Armendariz Madrid

    Miranda, it's a long process. I really didn't have time to grieve until a few weeks to a month after. I went back to work for two weeks, then went back to deal with the estate. I was blessed with having my husband and my uncle, my dad's brother, who now lives with us, to cope. Most has been on my own and with friends. I know what it means to have things remind you of him.  My uncle's daily presence is one of those reminders. 

    You told him it you would be okay without him comfort him in his final moments. You did not lie to him, to tried to ease his worry. Be glad you were able to have that moment, I unfortunately did not. We will never be the same. I know I am not the same person I was before my dad's passing. Think about how he would want you to continue without him. I think that is what made me strong those first few weeks, and daily as time passes. Our hearts will forever be aching for those we lost-some days better than others. But we have to remember them by living a productive life as they had wanted for us when they were here.

    Stay strong. Cry if you need to. But when you do, have warm memories as you smile. If need be seek additional professional support. I love this site, and have a great support system here at home, but sometimes more help is needed. I am seeking such help. Keep in touch. Hugs x 1000

    Nov 1, 2012