Tammy,

Your loss is a devastating and unnatural one. Although it will be unique, we all share the indefensible pain that attacks our soul each minute. The senselessness and traumatic loss you have experience I can understand. The anger stands there, waiting to usurp your heart when the sadness and pain are unguarded.

I have found that i am drifting through my life; wondering if I would even have any fight within me should I be faced with a choice.

I find small accomplishments in such unordinary tasks such as having a meal and getting out of bed. You may find that you are consumed with tears and despair, and in that, I can only find meaning in that I loved him very much. That is the balance to our most beloved persons; your daughter must be so deeply loved. 

There is a prayer that I try to soothe myself with, and it says:

from ignorance to knowledge,

from dark to light,

from mortality to immortality,

to peace.

Please reach out here whenever is possible. We are with you in all of this. I am 35 years old, feeling like I am 60 years old without plans for the future. But here, at least I am not too alone. You are not going through this by yourself as I hear you and see you.

Tammy - I am sorry to have too welcome you to the group. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. We all understand your pain and anguish all too well. I hope you can find some comfort and support here. I lost my 17 year old son 9myonly) almost 3 years ago (it seems like yesterday), He was a passenger in a car with a "friend" who made a an arrogant and stupid move which cost my son his life. The driver was fine. We all have regrets, please do not be too hard on yourself. Hugs to you. Connie