I'm so sorry for not responding, I haven't been on here for a while....kinda been in my own little lonely world. I'm so sorry for your loss, most people don't understand just how hard it is to lose a sibling, let alone a close sibling.....my sister was my best friend for 52 years, we were the closest in age and we did everything together....i was told "I'm just a sister" like I didn't matter, and the creep she was married to (for 1 & 1/2 years) was the only one to be hurting.....Our older sister has told me to let it go, to get over it....but i was the one that was there every day, I was the one that saw how horrible her drunk husband treated her and was told it was the booze that made him be so mean and that was the only way he could cope....and no one believed me about what was going on. All these things haunt me, daily flashbacks of everything....All as this horrible man is just as happy as can be, living it up on the sale of all my sisters things including the sale of our family home....i can't move on until I get a hold of my anger and i guess I'm still pretty angry. I'm sorry for the rant.

One more, I have literally lost every friend I used to have cause not one of them could handle what I was going through so they all abandoned me, my entire family doesn't want to hear anything about what I'm going throug. So i hope you have some kind of support system to help you....

You do not need to apologize for the rant, it is perfectly o.k. to vent. Losing a sister is very different than losing other loved ones. As you said, most of the people did not understand the bond we had with our sisters. I am a little fortunate in this department - my friends and colleagues all knew how much I was close to my sister. Most of them had either met or heard about my sister, they all worried about me after my sister's passing and helped me arrange the funeral mass.

I have weekly grief counseling for almost five months now - six months today, my sister left her heartbroken sister to be reunited with our parents. About two weeks ago, my nephew, a clinical
neuropsychologist,starts a weekly session with me, I have two weekly sessions. I have the best support system but I continue to be
profoundly sad. I still cry everyday and do not know how to get on to
the next day, the waves of grief attacks are harrowing and they happen 3 or 4 times every day, I do not wish these on my worst enemy!

I was very angry with God in the beginning for taking away my sister but I finally come to terms with it. My sister accepted God wholeheartedly, praying rosary had given my sister comfort and solace towards the last month of her beautiful but short life, I just could not betray her by turning my back to our Christian religion. Like your sister, she had ovarian cancer but at early stage, I thought she beat it but it was meant to be.

Sorry about hearing her abusive husband on top of fighting the horrible cancer. Life is brutal and unfair. Fortunately, she had you on her side during the last days.

My sister and I were close in age and we were never apart since birth.
You and I will never get over the grief no matter how much support we have, our sisters will never come back, the yearning will never stop.

The pain is more intense now than six months ago, I wonder why I keep on living, for what? I sort of numb my pain by being active, I volunteer a lot to carry on my sister's legacy, she was a charitable person. By doing volunteer work, I get distraction and find a purpose in life.

I also realize that in order to move forward, the drive has to come from within. It is a very lonely journey and can't be rushed. I called friends or family fanatically in the beginning but I no longer making any calls- no amount of call can help ease my yearning for my sister.

Is there anything you can do to get some distractions? Meditation can help with anger, have you considered it? Please forgive me if I sound like "fixing " your anger. The yearning and no future with our sisters are enough to kill us, we really do not need anger in the mix.

Thank you for your response and let me know how are you doing.

We are the forgotten bereaved but please, please do not suffer alone. I hope one day we can remember our sisters with happiness, not sadness.

Thanks for posting your sister's picture. She looked happy in the picture.

Take care,