Im so emotionally tired from this grief.Id like to turn it off somehow I know thats impossible but ts just too much.I would like to feel like myself again.I dont know that thats ever going to be possible for what is myself without my only sister?I love you lori i know we had our share of fights and disagreements but i love you so much and i will miss u being in my life.Gabe is graduating this yr u were suppose to come for his graduation im so sad u will miss that and him going off to college this summer youd b so proud.

Dear Ellen,

I'm so sorry for your loss and realize it must be difficult for you being so far away from your family during this time. I just can't believe she's gone. Lori and I have been in contact on and off for a while until May 2012. She mainly spoke of her Brittney and how very proud she was of her. Honestly, Ellen...I don't know what it's like losing a sibling but I know what it's like losing your only parent and it's just awful and even after seven years I'm still dealing with some of the guilt and lonlieness. I have some wonderful friends here in Tucson and going to church helps and keeps me focused. I will be in Escondido next weekend to visit my aunt and will make a special trip to Oceanside and say my goodbye to Lori at the pier. I will also check into seeing about having Lori's name engraved there. I'm sending out my prayers and blessings to you and your family. Always, Jacquetta