I am so so sorry for you Beverley.

I am new to this site and I am not sure how it works yet. I lost my Mom a few months after her diagnosis. I feel so so lost

I am sorry if this is a duplicate post. I Cant see everything on my phone and I am Trying to figure out this site. I am having a very very hard time loan gu Mom. I k ke it must be so much harder for a spouse. My parents were married 53 years. My Dad is so lost!

Hi Beverley, welcome to the group, no ones to join. I am going through the same, my partner died very suddenly 12 March, we to had been together 36 years, a life time of love laughter and peace. Now all of us here are in a new living hell which at the moment there seems no way out of.

I can't give you much advise as I am still struggling with every single minute of everyday at the moment, I'm in this weird limbo where I am just getting up getting through a day and going to bed, I'm waiting for something to change, for things to get back to normal, but then it hits again that this is normal and nothing's going to change. It's the emptiness I can't cope with, no one to say good morning, no one to say hi when you get in from work, no one even cares if you've got home safely or not, your not any ones centre any more.

I feel like I'm having a good day if I manage to put clean knickers on, mostly even that's too much effort.

This site has helped me,use it to write down your feelings, knowing everyone knows your pain.
Hugs jackie

I know Beverly, today I was numbly watching tv, I have it on all,the time just for a sound, but it was a lovely programme about rescue elephants in India, I actually turned and said look lover aren't these elephants lovely, and couldn't believe I was looking at an empty sofa, I even looked at yen door to see if she gone out the room without me seeing, how mad is that x

Hi how are you doing, I'm finding everyday is getting harder. I can't motivate my self to do anything. I just sit and cry. I hope your surviving better than me x

I don't know if I want to adjust, does that mean we are getting used to our lives without them? I don't want to get used to a life like that. I'm the opposite of you, I don't go to bed till after midnight,lie awake till 3 then get up at 6. I used to love being in bed snuggled and safe but now it's just another reminder of how alone I am x

I know Beverly, the pain is totally all consuming, I just wish I could have some sign, or dream but there is just silence all the time. I can't stand doing all those little jobs around the house we used to do days and nights are so long, I can see why people die of a broken heart x

I so envy you that faith, I want to believe it so much but at the moment I can't believe there is a God and a heaven, if so why is this happening to so many good people who have only ever loved and helped people. Apart this moment in time I find I am not trusting anyone, people who should be standing with me have turned against me, all because of money of course. Friends who were around at the beginning have gone back to their lives. I have my dog and cat, if not for them I would not bother to try to carry on at all x

Hi Beverly. I am so so sorry. My parents were married 53 years when my Mom passed. My Dad has been lost for the last six months. They were even high school sweethearts. Truly the only thing that has helped him , is that he got a dog. Not a puppy, but a house trained younger dog. He talks non stop about her and takes her for car rides and walks. Not sure how you feel about pets. I miss my Mom so so much. Do you have nearby family?

Hi Beverly, I understand your pain and grief and anger. I lost my partner Shirl, on 12 March we'd been together since I was 16, 36 years. My life ended when hers did, I wish I had faith, iv never been particularly religious but always thought there was something out there, now I just think we're alone. I cry all the time, can't see the point in anything, the only thing I do is make sure our dog Bisto and cat flix are ok, nothing else matters. I cant face the thought of years and years without Shirl, we knew the minute we met we were meant to be together for life and nothing's changed.

I wish I was stronger, there are some strong people on here who will offer you more support, I can just tell you your not alone in your grief as I am walking right beside you. Take care jackie