Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong

Female

Boyertown, PA

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:
I am 54 years old, I have been married for 25 years and have two handsome sons.
About my Loss:
I have been through a difficult time. In 2014 my father in law passed, and my sons best friend Justin. Justin was a member of our family. I love him like he was my own, he had such a big heart, very compassionate. Playing the guitar was his life and he was recording his music. He was 30 when he was taken from all of us, way to young.
Early 2014 my dad was diagnosed with cancer. 2015 was by far the worst. Seeing my Dad whither away and trying to help a life long friend Michael with his diabetes.
I went to visit a Michael on Dec 18 2015. I walked in and was talking to him while walking down the hall on my way to his living room I though to myself he must be asleep he usually greets me. I walked into the living room and immediately turned around, because what I saw was so awful my whole body started to shake uncontrollably, My friend was dead. He had been dead for at least a week when I found him. Michael had been having trouble controlling his diabetes.I loved him and always will. Finding him was devastating it shattered my world. Both from the grieve and the horror of seeing him like that.
My Dad passed away while sleeping on Dec 27 2015 a mere 9 days after I found my friend. My Dad was an awesome father, husband, son, brother and friend. I couldn't have loved him more. I miss him terrible.
Watching him wilt away was also traumatizing as I'm sure some of you understand. Cancer Sucks.
So I am struggling to be myself. I used to be so easy going and Happy but now. I really don't care about anything and I am scared everyday. My husband and sons have been great. but they rest of my family and friends don't understand at all.

So glad I found this site.

My father died 8 days later. He went peacefully at home surrounded by his girls, that's what he called my sisters and I. He was my Superman.

These loses have left my head spinning, sometimes I'm just numb and other times I just sleep all day so I don't have to think. The thoughts are crazy. It's hard for me to share my feelings with my family, I don't want to burden them with my troubles because they also lost their Dad. They never understood Mike's and I relationship.

I'm hoping that this online support will help. I just don't want to leave the house sometimes.

My husband has been very supportive. Thank God.

Comment Wall:

  • Lynn Boyd

    Hi Lisa, thank you for your kind words. I understand what you mean about music being a grief trigger. It was an entire year before I could listen to anything by Jimmy Buffett, since he was the background music of our life together. I can listen now and remember the good times, but occasionally a song will bring the tears back too. This online support group has been good for me. It's always comforting to be in touch with others also experiencing the profound pain of loss and grief. **hugs**

    Mar 29, 2016

  • MarieSte

    Hi Lisa thank you so much for your kind words about my poems. I'm so sorry about your multiple losses. Grief even when acknowledged is very hard to live with and is unique for all of us. This site should help you realise you are not alone. If we can in someway gain comfort from each other it can be a small respite from our daily struggle.{{{Hugs}}}

    Sep 1, 2016