kim

Female

peterborough ont

Canada

Profile Information:

About Me:: im a mother of one beautiful son, hes everything to me. im married, my life is my son (SHAWN) now im in unbearable pain everyday.i pray every night for him to come get me, take me from this hell I live in.
About my Loss:: I lost my beautiful son in nov, I feel so alone, heart broken and just want to die to be with him, I cry all the time and everyday I go see him . , without him I have nothing to live for, hes the love of my life forever. nothing will ever be the same again, shawn and I did a lot together.hes so funny and made me laugh. he has big beautiful brown eyes, and dimples. he will always been my angel.

Comment Wall:

Bern

This is a Sad Situation!

May 23, 2014
Ammy

Kim, I am so very sorry for your loss. It's always hard to see another parent join this site, but you will find support here. I also lost my son one month after his 41st birthday. That was July 14, 2010. I know how hard this journey is to travel but just try to keep taking those steps forward one at a time. You can make it through, but you will always have a missing piece; and I think that is as it should be because it confirms our love for our child.
Wishing you gentler days.

May 27, 2014
anne

I am glad to be your friend!

Jul 3, 2014
kathryn roberts

Early after her death I read a lot about grief and I know that it is different for each person, and that is perfectly natural -- I just want to be able to appear to be normal and functioning, as I am the guardian of my daughter's younger son and I need to convince him he can have a happy and whole life -- but that's hard to do when I am not having a happy and whole life. My grandson is 19 and in college. His older brother is 26 and a firefighter. The older boy doesn't seem to have struggled as much as the younger one, but I think that can be explained by the fact that he deals with life and death matters every day and knows he is making an important contribution, doing something his mom was really proud of.

Jul 15, 2014
kathryn roberts

Kim, Early on after my daughter died, I told her boys that the only way I could believe that people could survive such a death was because people had survived it before. I was acquainted with a family that had lost a child, well acquainted. I had offered them sympathy, even given them money to help with medical expenses during the illness. But I truly had no idea what they felt until I felt it myself. It's a terrible group to belong to.

Jul 15, 2014
Katie maggie

Sorry Kim--it took me along time to respond. I am at the Microsoft Store learning more about computers. Just wanted to let you know that 11/5/13 was a bad day for me too! That is when my boyfriend had his 1st stroke.Strange--isn't it!

Jul 24, 2014
Rachel

Hi Kim, I was just thinking about you. Please know I'm with you. Love you. Rachel.

Aug 14, 2014
Bern

Anthony I agree with you. God played a good one on me too. I fell for it Anthony. I live a horrible life without my only Son T.J.

Aug 16, 2014
Dawn

Thank You Kim. I am so sorry about you son. My story is a little different. When my son was murdered he also left my 2 year old grandson without a father. I have been his foster mom for the last 5 months, he is what keeps me going. He was about to be placed back with his mother but thankfully that is on hold pending the investigation.

Sep 22, 2014
bernice

Hi Kim. I have read your story twice.. I lost my husband and the pain is unbearable, how you are coping with the loss of your Son, God only knows.. I am thinking about you xxx

Sep 30, 2014
Gale Brunault

Hi Kim, I feel so bad reading your blogs. It will be 4 months for me on October 9th and I can only hope that my life doesn't stay in this horrific grief filled existence. Please feel free to reach out and talk to me. Losing your only child is the worst thing on earth - I know; Michael was my only child. Hugs and more hugs to you Kim - Gale

Oct 3, 2014
Bern

I am getting rid of my holiday stuff too. I just don't have the strength and mind set to decorate or cook without my son anymore.

Oct 12, 2014
Bunny

Kim thank you for your note. I can't even imagine losing a child. My grief if unbelievable as yours must be. If it helps tell me about your son. My children are all adults now but we're very close to their father and I try to stay strong at least in front of them but when I'm alone it's unbearable. Your grief must be horrific. Your doing the right thing reaching out. I find it's easier to talk to strangers than people who knew my husband

Oct 14, 2014
Dawn

Kim Thinking of you and Shawn today, prayers and hugs for both of you

Nov 5, 2014
j l carver

My daughter would have turned 19 this month..t the pain never stops, but trust me there are small moments of cease power with the pain..keep moving along and you will be alright. I talk to my daughter daily , talking helps.. here for you , I know this tough road.

Nov 20, 2014
Bunny

I haven't heard from you and n awhile are you doing any better

Nov 21, 2014
Britt

I feel like I can empathize with you. The pain does not get better just worse. Sending hugs of comfort from one mother to another. xxxxxxxx

Dec 13, 2014
Lost & Alone

I am so sorry that your family has fallen apart, I whish that you were a part of my family, cause we would help you any way we can. (My sisters would smother you with stories and hugs and kisses) I wish I could tell you a magical way to make your family see what you need, and help them see that you need them to help you grieve.

I still stand by my very short view that maby your husband is the only one you need to grieve with you, the way he stood up to your family makes me believe that he is the strength you need to hold on to with both hands, in a way you are holding part of Shawn, cause half of him came from your husband....(Probly the irritating half) ... But the only one who knows exactly how you feel would be him, he is Shawn father just as much as you are his mother..

Lots of love and hugs and kisses

My you feel the love and concern from all of us... We do understand..... We do care.... And any talking you want to do,,,, HERE is the place......We are here to support each other..... Feel free to tell us anything you want or need to tell us.....

God Bless

Jan 24, 2015
Lost & Alone

Amen Kathryn this is whole site is a bad place to be only because we had to loose someone to be here.....

The people who are here though are some of the most generous of souls... Sorry to know why you are here, but glad to know you

God Bless you in your Sorrow

Jan 24, 2015
Rj

I just lost the love of my life, my only child, my heart, my soul, my being, my son, larry. 27. Feb 1st. Oh how i feel the way you do Kim.

Mar 19, 2015
Charlotte Finklea

Hello Kim. Forgive me for intruding. I truly know how you feel. I have also lost a son, just this past January. It hurts so terribly. I also have thought of not wanting to be here anymore. Autopsy revealed nothing. Toxicology revealed nothing. I have no closure, that hurts most of all. I don't understand any of it. My son, visited me last Christmas. Nineteen days later he was gone. There are no answers. I thought about group therapy, talking to my priest, going to a Dr. But I don't think any of that will help me. I do believe in God, Jesus and the Blessed Mother, they are who I talk to. believe it or not I feel better after talking to them. They are the only ones that can truly help now. I realize what works for one doesn't always work for others but what harm could it do. everyone offers sympathy. God won't give you that but he will help you to carry this burden. I know you love your son. Hold all of your memories of him close to your heart. Talk to him as much as you can, this helps also. Please take care of yourself. I'm sure it would mean a great deal to him to know you're alright. Please stay well. Charlotte

Nov 30, 2015
Charlotte Finklea

Hello Sweetheart, thank you so much for your message. Please try to hold on. I know how difficult it is. There is someone in your life that is hurting as well... Your husband. A mans heart can break as well as a woman's. We seem to forget that. Women have a wonderful gift when thing go wrong, we can cry our hearts out freely. Men have always been taught to be strong. if we're honest that is how we also raise our own sons. They have hearts also and if we pay close attention there are tears. You have disregarded his pain. Please walk into your husbands arms Kim. The love he has for you is still there. neither you or he can do anything for your son now because he resides with God. unlike me you have built in support. My husband passed away eight years ago. Your son had two parents. if our sons could see us, your being upset maybe upsetting to him. I thought about that one day when I was crying so uncontrollably. I tried very hard to stop my tears because I didn't want my son upset worrying about me. My closeness with my son Scott meant so much to me, but now I have to find a way to live without him until God calls me home. Try to be stronger for Shawn. When the time is right you will join him with no effort on your part. Your friend Charlotte

Dec 1, 2015
Charlotte Finklea

Hello Kim. I pray you are feeling a little better. Try very hard not to feed into your sorrow. I truly believe your son as well as mine are able to do some things now that they weren't able to do before. Shawn can see and hear you. Try to be as calm for him as you can. keep thinking of his wonderful smile. How wonderful the color of his eye were. I thing my son has a special glow to his face now because there are no more worries, no stress of any kind. The happiness and contentment that Shawn is experiencing now, has to be so wonderful, something we have no comprehension of. Show your love for him Kim not your anguish. Shawn is still your son, that will never change. You Kim will always be his Mom. No one can take that away from you. Lift you face to the sun and speak to him. Include him in your daily activities.
He hears you. I'm sure he wants to know that you and his Dad are okay.
I will pray for you. Your friend, Charlotte

Dec 16, 2015