George H

Male

Lowell, AR

United States

Profile Information:

About my Loss:
my wife Mary died February 24th this year I was her caregiver for the last 7 years now that she's gone I have no support system it was just her and I threw everything and I'm really having a hard time with the loneliness and the emptiness I feelI've lost the will to do anything I just sit in my chair and feel like I'm just waiting for my turn

Comment Wall:

  • Tildyc

    I'm sorry George. This loneliness can be debilitating. Today is my day off and all I do anymore is sit in my chair with the TV on and spend most the day crying. My days off used to be so wonderful. Mark and I would always have plans of some kind. Even if it was simple as watching a movie at home are going to dinner his friends. But those days are gone forever. So – here I sit dreading the years to come. Perhaps some day my circumstances may change. But I certainly can't envision that from this point in my life. So in the meantime, l mourn and I hurt. And I come to this site which is of some comfort. Here- at least we know that we are not alone in our suffering. My words are probably not much help George but, I do want let you know that I understand and I feel your pain.

    Mar 27, 2015

  • Valerie

    Hi George,

    I'm so sorry for you loss your beautiful Mary. I do understand the loss and empty feeling. Do you have any support around you? You need people right now. This group is at the very least where you can come and express yourself. The People here definitely care and know how you are feeling. I myself lost my husband on 1/31. He was my everything too. I find that the weekends are the very lonely.

    Even if we did nothing we were together. We would go for a drive, watch a movie, clean the house together, just anything made us happy. It sounds like you have been a caregiver for a long time. I bet Mary really appreciated how much love and care you showed for her. You were going probably non-stop for seven years, now all you have is time to think probably.

    I bet she is watching down on you from heaven. I do believe you will see her again when your time comes. I'm not sure what God's plans are for us now...One thing that helps me, and not all of the time, is to take walks. Cry when  you need to cry, scream when you need to scream, let the emotions off your chest. My husband's stuff is still sitting exactly where it was too. I am going to a counselor. You may want to check for local grieve groups in your area. They sometimes have them at churches in your area.

    If you get nothing else out of it, you might me a friend or two to have lunch with or go to a movie or enjoy any activity you might have before you lost your sweetheart.

    I am thinking of you and care. I will pray for you, George.
    And, hope you find some peace today and the days ahead.

    Valerie

    Mar 29, 2015

  • Valerie

    George

    Reach out to me anytime you need. We can at the very least share in our pain. I'm sorry you are not able to get out, but please know that if you want to talk or express how you are feeling. I check my e-mail at least once a day. This journey is tough. And I know you must miss your best friend more than words could express. Please know you are not alone. I'm sorry about your vision problems. I'm going to pray for you. Big Cyber Hugs!

    Thinking of you.
    Valerie

    Mar 29, 2015

  • Sandy Elaine Norris

    Thank you George. It helps just to feel like I'm not by myself. My family loves me. I know they do, but they just don't understand how I'm feeling. On top of losing the love of my life, 3 weeks after he passed I moved in with my terminally ill dad and now I am taking care of him until he passes. I just feel overwhelmed. Thank you for being someone that I can talk to.

    Mar 30, 2015

  • Roger

    Hey George,

    I know how guilt will eat at you. There are things about both my Mom and wife that I wish I had done different. Would any of it have saved their life. No, My wife had stage IV cancer. My mom was 84 with final stage COPD. Both were gravely ill. From what you have said about you wife's dialysis not working, how long she had been ill. I bet she was the same.  I as you, would have done anything to help them. They were my life. I loved each of them more than anything. I would give anything if they hadn't of died. My life is seems so useless with out them. I did the best I could at the time. I only had their best interest in mind. I know it's only natural when you loved someone as much as you and I loved them. To look back and play it all over and over in our minds. See things that we wish we could have done different. It is just something we have to live with because we loved them so much. You are not alone in your thoughts. I assure you. I pray God will comfort you.   

    Mar 30, 2015

  • Roger

    Hey Gegr
    I had hospice counseling too. I don't remember exactly what I was told. It seems like you have so many vists one a week. She also ask me to call her when I wanted her to come back. The lady I had was good. I though she would ask me to just talk about how I felt the first visit. No! She did most of the talking. Stuuf I really hadn't even though about. Like what I had planned for the rest of my life was forever changed now. That everybody grives on their on time frame. But thst I had better try and get a hold of my grief or grief would get a hold on me. Gave me a couple of examples. I though she did really know her stuff. Her husband had died at like 30. Leaving her with a small child to raise.

    Apr 3, 2015