Your example of a back pack full of bricks was a good one. Until you experience a great loss you just don't understand grief. I think most who have not experienced profound grief of someone so close, think that grief is something that heals kinda like a broken bone. Truth is that grief is not a destination but a journey. This journey is highly individual and is traveled at each persons own pace and in each of our individual ways.

(Isaiah 41:10) Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you, I will really hold on to you with my right hand of righteousness.’

No better companion to make this terrible journey with...

Brenda

Roger, thank you for your comments, I am confused on this site at the moment, my brain is working in slow motion, so am not sure if it is me or the site is confusing to navigate. 

one of the statements you made regarding people telling you to "move on" or start dating really struck me. People have no clue how hurtful those words can be and I do think most are well-meaning, but they want us to move on for THEM more often than not.

our daughter was only buried 3 weeks ago and already it feels that some friends are acting like I should be over and done with it or am grieving too much and should seek counseling!

How much is "too much" grieving over a child or a beloved spouse?? I am not easily offended in general, but the lack of understanding just astounds me.

I am biting my tongue as my emotions are all over the place but at some point someone will hear that my grief isn't going to go away according to their made up timetable or just to make them feel better.

There has been a huge drop off in family and friends making contact and I was expecting that so am not shocked, but it is the last thing I need right now. people will rally during a crisis and hang around for the drama of it all, but as soon as the loved one dies, it seems they think it is time to change the channel.

this isn't just what is happening to me, I was a hospice nurse for over 7 years and observed it time and again. It doesn't help those who are grieving to have to feel defensive about how long they mourn. Or to be made to feel like they can just run out and replace the loved one and that will make it all better.

There seems to be some general rule that people have a year to "get over it" and anything past that is abnormal... don't let outside attitudes make you feel even worse. thoughts and prayers, Karen

Thank you Roger for your friendship. I am so sorry for your loss. Comforting others helps with my own pain at times

Yesterday I invited a close friend for dinner. I thought what in hell I got myself in. I felt horrible yesterday and I did not want to cook at all. However once I started cooking and done.. It was enjoyable Dinner with my friends and family.

I'm alive the weeks seem to drag by don't get to sleep into around 4 or 5 am so I'm this now really getting up do did my chores for the day fed all the puppy have one of my son's friends aunt coming over this s afternoon to pick out her puppy and give me a deposit on it I'm keeping two I named the Matty n Harley bc of my husband I miss him every morning I wake I except he going to bring me my cup of coffee I don't care if I see anybody I can hide in the bedroom for days only letting the dogs outside n back in most days I don't even get dressed stay in my pj

I am sorry for you loss Roger.I understand your pain, first your wife and then mom.Lost my mom last year...she was assaulted by unknown assailants and succumbed to her injuries.The pain is still there.....the wound is still fresh,she dies everyday.

Roger, thank you so much. You are in my prayers as well. I understand what you are going through, I ask all the time why.. Just sucks!

Hi Roger.  What a tough cookie you must be.   I don't even have words.  I lost my mom, but I'm not married.  I can not imagine losing both my wife and my mother.  My life has changed too.  I have such a crazy job, that I am always at work, so I don't have very many friends...because they never could understand why I was always at work and not hanging out with them.    Probably not the healthiest thing, but I haven't been able to find another job.   And so I just go to work everyday.   I have two cats and one dog and, yes, they are what is keeping me going right now, oddly.  They snuggle me at night while I cry, but I agree, they are not the same as family.   I don't know how I'm going to make it through her birthday and holidays.   God, I don't even want to think about that.  I've actually been trying to go to church, because my mom's faith was so strong, but it just makes me cry because she would have been there with me if she was here.   The Bible says blessed are they that mourn...but I don't feel very blessed.  And yes, it is some small comfort knowing that I am not alone.   I've very much had that feeling over the last month.   All the plans we had for this month...haven't happened...and there is so much loneliness and anguish. 

Roger  thank you  and  I  am  so  sorry  for   your  lost  I  am  so  ready  to  give  up