Hi Lisa, sorry for your losses.

Loosing someone to murder is so different, painful, awful you name it. We have so much anger, frustration at everything. And I can honestly understand how you feel.

Amanda

Lisa, I just posted a comment to you somewhere but I can not find it to add something.........anyway.... I noticed your post about seeming crazy replying to so many post, that's EXACTLY what we need. I used to do that but since june 2011 I have not really had the chance. my mom had cancer and if I was not at work i was taking care of her until she passed away in nov. Since then I have been to numb to do much. Thank you for making so many people feel better. I am sorry you had to join the group but I am glad that you did.

Lisa, I just read your comment about Peter's murder. I can not believe the police did not even take a statement from you.  I have not had much luck with the police in Tulsa either. Because it was 1 in the morning and in a bad neighborhood they assume it was a drug deal or something and they don't even try. My mom lived in the "bad" neighborhood and my brother spent the night with her. Her neighbor called at 1 am to see if my brother would give him a ride to pick up his wife whose car broke down. Mark was always helping people (like your fiance did,) so he did. The police have several witnesses but of course they are friends or scared of the people accused of the stabbing. We also knew it took 3 or 4 of them. Of course they will not testufy against eachother. It is all so frustrating. The main person in the stabbing spent 9 months in jail and then they had to release him, due to lack of evidense. Now the police don't even try anymore. I am obsessed with the case and I find out more info than they do......& I live in a different state. I have became facebook friends (under a false name) with the murderer and most of his friends and family. I know everything going on in that family. It really sucks to see him on happy days when things are going good for him. It is so hard not to blow it and tell the piece of shit what I really think. But I LOVE it on days when his whole world sucks.

I have been in constant contact with the DA and some with the detective. I will not stop. They have agreed to do a crimestoppers segment about the case. Now my mission is to bug the crap out of them till they follow through.  If I were you i would contact the DA's office every so often and just ask has anything came up on Peter's case? let them know it won't be forgotten. Do NOT become obsessed like I have. They past 31/2 years have not been good.  Don't let them forget, but go on with your life. You are a beautiful person and grief can not only ruin a person mentally it ages people so much. My sister and I both look 10 years older. We both still cry every day and dwell on the case. We agreed at the beginning of the year to stop crying everyday.

 I hope things get better for you and I'm gad you are on the site. I know sometimes our friends and family get sick of hearing about our loss but people here know exactly what that is like. Look at me I have been obsessing for 31/2 years and not one person has complaned.....yet, LOL. Keep me posted on how you are doing. Talk again soon.

WOW i did not realize that was so long. sorry!

Lisa, thanks so much for the rose. I realize how much I miss this site where people can actually relate. If i mentioned to anyone else that the police questioned if there were drugs involved, they assume there was, although there was not. He really was giving the neighbor a ride (and the police found that out,) but they think anything that happens past 9 pm is drug or alchol related. I have had other family members who have had drug and alcohol addictions but he did not. I am sorry to say they will probably never treat your sisters case as a murder. They treat anyone with drug problems as such low lifes....it makes me sick. If they only knew how wide spread the problem is, probably even in their own departments.

Was your sister your only sibling? I agree with you, your mother is a sociopath!! How cold of her to not let her daughter (who just lost her fiance to murder) cry on her shoulder for a few minutes. And for her to say on a lighter note & laugh OMG!! How insensitve!! No wonder you had to cut off contact with her. I am really sorry for you for that.  Everyone needs someone who you can ALWAYS count on no matter what and that is usually a mother.

Life seems so unfair to some families. Your sister and you both suffered it sounds like. How is your nephew? did you get to see him?  Let me know how you are doing. Talk to you soon.

Thankyou Lisa for your kind words. Im sorry for your loses. Life isnt fair. How does a person go on. And for what. I look forward to nothing.Its doesnt get easier. Its a stuggle.Its been over 7 months and im still dealing with his passing, wedding and Finances.

                                                                                           Marlene

Sorry I have not responded earlier. I have been working long hours for the past few days.

 You have been through so much I hope you can find some peace.  I know that greiving is like addiction.....you take it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others. Some people seem to move past things easier than others. I seem to be the one in my family who is obsessed with all aspects of the case. I am happy the others have a different attitude. I hope things get better for you soon. keep me posted on how you are doing. talk to you soon.

Thank you soooo much for my bear - it was like a big warm hug.  I wish we could be closer so my family and I could have a meal together and you could feel how much we care.  I have been taking a refresher scuba class and so have not been on the computer.  Went to the pool yesterday and passed all my skills so we are good to go diving for our 42nd wedding anniversary cruise next week.  I may be able to write some while on the ship but I am not certain.  Please have a peaceful day and consider yourself hugged.

Love,

Brenda

support@grief-and-comfort.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

Thank you for your sympathy. It means alot to me.

Thank you! I'm sorry about your loss. I read how your sister and fiance passed away. I'm so sorry. The only thing that gives me some relief is knowing that oxicontin can no longer hurt my husband because he is at peace now. If you ever need to talk, I am here. I'm having a hard enough time getting up everyday.

Thank you, I to still wait to hear from her and she. Believe what i wouldn't give to talk to her. So much has happen in the 3 1/2 weeks she has been gone. I need to tell her about it so badly. I need her oppinions. One of the last time I talk to her, I said something to make her laugh so hard. She said i was a dork and a nerd. I hope she knows she was everything in the world to. So hugs to you to and sorry for you lost as well.

Thank you Lisa for the support.

Thank you Lisa x

Thanks. My daughter is thriving. She's graduating from the UMass honor college and is engaged. She grew up with a mother who was terminally ill so it didn't seem to traumatize her. My wife and two stepchildren have had a bad time of it. I suppose the sudden loss of a father and grandfather in a murder/suicide is just a lot more traumatic than a long illness. It happened about twelve years ago, but still my 19-year-old stepson is struggling to move forward. He's dabbling in community college, won't get even a part time job, and has moved into the basement despite our five bedrooms.

thank you...I basically am doing ok...but there r very rough times for sure.  Someimes it is rough enough I actually feel sick ....like I  am going to upchuck or something

i spent over night at a friends house..she has two teen boys who are the greatet.  She is a very warm, kind loving person.  I get plenty of hugs and being spoiled when I am there...it is such a delight and uplifting,.  Everyone should have at least one straight friend like this....lay on a bed watch movie..have pop corn and candy and giggle..bring you back to teen years...with no strings attached except for strong bond of friendship

Thank you Lisa.  Im taking it one day at a time :)

I have watched all your videos, I like your nephew's the most and you in the car trying to get channel changed. It was too dark.

Why 1300, why not. I just wanted an even 100 by his 6 months time of death. If it had never been posted and was 0 and he was still with me I would be the happiest.

On Youtube, watching it over and over does not increase the count. Youtube apparently pays people when you reach 1MM so they have algorithms to prevent multiple views

The Youtube channel is GodisLove4everamen. I really, really do appreciate your help. Thanks and God bless.

I notice you are quite pro-animals. I am no so much pro-animal, but I am against factory farming methods that stress the animal and I do think the final product marketed is retrograde. I have chosen a ova-lactarian lifestyle myself and I know the people producing the milk and eggs personally. Free range or go home. Thanks for not thinking I am crazy.

Interesting the Pitbull is your dog of choice, Danny had two at the time of death and his girlfriend wanted them and his PJ bottoms to remember him. I gave it all to her. I have no pets now, I could not stand to have anything die on me now.

I swear the flower are embracing @ 2:56 on the Portishead video.

Thank you for your kind words. Everyone says I'm strong, but I don't feel it. It's as if I'm only hanging by a thread.

Thank you for the kind words.  Sorry for your loss as well.  My boyfriend was only 37.  We were together for 2 1/2 years and lived together.  He was my world and the best thing that has ever happened to me.  March 18 will be a year.  I try to just take things one day at a time.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.  I would never trade a day of the time I had with my mom.  I never was able to be with her as an adult.. too many men in my life.  Mom was patient though.  When we finally were together, after I quit my 3 part time jobs to do it, she was the happiest I had ever seen her.  It was like she had waited all her life to have me to herself in the end.  Then she never wanted to be out of my sight. 

As a child I had the nick name, Little Mommy.  We were buddies then.  But when mom had fallen and had to have her hip replaced, it took three days to make the connection.  You see, after the surgery, I was still doing those 3 jobs, about 60 hours a week... I had one hour a night to visit her after I had to drive an hour each way to see her in the hospital.  When I arrived each night the staff complained that all she did was cry Momma, Momma.. all day long.  They said they told her she was too old to have a living mom so just to let it go.  But she seemed so relieved to see me.  On the third night I drove through a snow storm to get there and worried about having to drive back home to my kids again...but when I walked in the door of her room, she was alert and nearly sitting up for the first time.. She said, "There you are, Mommy." 

OMG I knew it right then....  I had worked a couple years in an Alzheimers Unit as an activities aid... so I knew.  I visited her and she was so happy to see me I almost couldn't leave..  When I left, though, I cried all the way back.. Through the snow storm which continued to rage.  I cried because I knew she had Alzheimers.  And that was the beginning. It was also the beginning of my deepest love for any human being. 

Thank-you Lisa for the well-wishes.  It's nice to know there are people like you who care about people they don't even know.  I really care about people but don't seem to reach out as much as I should.  My cat's name is Tedi and she doing ok.  I'm hoping she'll stay with me a bit longer.  It'll be tough to lose her so soon after my mom.  I just joined this grief site and I've read a little bit of the comments and I feel so bad for everyone.  I don't even know what to say....I know just how much joy my mom brought to me, so I have so much compassion for all of them.  I guess we just have to make the most of our time here on earth the best we can without them.  I know that's what my mom would want.