Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Brenda Ann
Female
Conroe, TX
United States
Profile Information:
- About Me:
- I am disabled, 68 years old, wife, mother of 3 and grandmother(maw maw)to 8 with our first great granddaughter coming January 2018. Being disabled and unable to walk, the only way I can give comfort is on line. My family was helped and we want to "pay it forward" by helping others with their grief.
- About my Loss:
- My family lost my father in law to a fall and brain bleed in July of 2010. The grief we have experienced has made us aware the need for comfort.
My brother in law, Roger age 63 passed away Sept 5th 2012 due to a very short but horrifically painful pancreatic cancer.
Tragically Saturday July 5th we lost two of our closest friends. Jill broke her leg, only to find out that her body was riddled with cancer. She passed away 10 days latter. Then we recieved a message on Facebook that another friend had had a massive heart attack and died the same day as Jill. Her name is JoAnn.
(Ecclesiastes 7:1) "A good name is better than good oil, and the day of death is better than the day of birth." For the first time, I think I understand this scripture, and I feel it is so important to tell everyone who JoAnn was and what she meant to us. So few people truly "get" what being a true friend really is. . . but JoAnn . . . so much more than just a friend. She was the definition of empathy - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. She thought ahead to consider what her friends would need and then made it happen. The sound of her voice was so soothing that as soon as you heard hello you felt comfortable and at home. No matter how long between visits, the friendship and love was instant. JoAnn's love of God drew us to her but who she was inside is why we feel she was the personification of Proverbs 17: 17 - "A true friend shows love at all times, And is a brother who is born for times of distress," a true gift from Jehovah.
November 1, 2016 My husband's mother passed away in her sleep. Esther "mom" was an excellent baker and cook. She canned the vegetables and fruits they grew in their garden and made jellies, wines and baked pies with their produce. Esther was an accomplished seamstresses making all of her very stylish clothes and many of her children's clothes. She crocheted afghans and made beautiful quilts and was the bookkeeper for the Family Plumbing business.
She studied the Bible and loved telling people of the wonderful promises God has recorded in the Bible and why those promises are as sure to be fulfilled as if they were already a reality. [Why Study the Bible?
It has taken me 9 months to add this to my profile: So sorry to welcome you to www.onlinegriefsupport.com. I lost my dad 9 months ago to C.O.P.D./emphysema/lung cancer all from smoking. Watching him go was a terrible experience! I tried to comfort him and spent about 20 of his last hours singing to him and playing music he loved. They told me he could hear me and encouraged me to keep singing and playing music. I guess it did comfort us both...
video link = https://www.jw.org/en/publications/videos/#en/mediaitems/AllVideos/...
In the middle of October 2018 our sister in law lost her fight against Cancer. She was such a loving and kind person caring for her mother for her last years. Her mother also fought Cancer. Her was was Jean wakes us up to our own mortality. God did not intend for humans to die. That's why it is so hard to face... Thanks be for Jesus ransom sacrificial death so we have the possibility to have our sins forgiven and life everlasting to look forward to... see ALL of you soon. - Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
- I am a volunteer Family & Grief Counselor. mawmaw1591@gmail.com
Laura Salefski
I am not sure why there is such a difference in skin cancers. Even in melanoma there are differences. Jon had a very rare type that was extremely aggressive. It did not start with a tell tale mole. It actually looked like a fatty tissue tumor. It started as a small lump on his abdominal wall. As I said it was very aggressive. From this small tumor to 6 massive tumors in his body and 20 tumors in his brain in less than a year. The last three weeks were the only time he appeared to be dick. Melanoma is a terrible, devastating disease. Your sister will be in my prayers.
Nov 18, 2011
Laura Salefski
Nov 18, 2011
Christine Sutton
Hello Brenda Ann... I was never able to read the comment you left for me a while ago until now...my computer was out of commission at such a bad time for me. However reading it now was so comforting to me... I want to thank you from with my heart soul... much love and God bless you and yours ... Christine
Nov 20, 2011
Christine Sutton
I hope you are doing better now! That sounds really frightening...
Nov 26, 2011
Amanda Ab
hello brenda,
just checking in to say hi. hope you are doing okay from your accident.
amanda
Nov 26, 2011
Ruth
Hi, Brenda, Thanks for the friend request. I read the beautiful comment you added to Amanda Ab's comment to remind her she is grateful for the time she and Danny were together. Isn't that true, that we need to hold grateful hearts for the love that has been shown us and the love we were able to share with our beloved ones. Thanks for the honor, best wishes Ruth.
Dec 3, 2011
Amanda Ab
Hello Brenda,
Thank you for your words of courage and taking the time to reach out to me, when i have been hit rock bottom. Thank you for the article regarding Dreams. It does make a lot of sense and understanding how dreams are developed.
P.S. Great Pictures and Thank You for sharing.
Dec 8, 2011
Patti Meadows
Hi Brenda, honored by your friend request....looking forward to getting to know you better...Blessings, Patti Meadows (Matt's Mom)
Dec 9, 2011
MIchael A Ballard
Thank you for being a friend Brenda!
You are surrounded by great people and friends on here!
Peace and Prayers,
Michael
Dec 11, 2011
Patti Meadows
Hi Brenda, thanks for your reply....don't know when I wrote that comment, but Praise the Lord, a lot has happened since then. Last spring, I was missing my fellowship with the Lord so much, that I got down on my knees and said: "Lord I don't feel this, I don't know if this will do any good, but please turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh"...I didn't feel any different at the time, but gradually I began to soften. A few weeks after that we had a healing service at our church, and I was prayed for. I truly believe that instead of just dealing with grief, I had a "SPIRIT OF GRIEF" on me that would not leave....But praise JESUS he has healed my spirit of grief. Don't get me wrong, I still miss Matt, but I can honestly say that I would not bring him back if God would allow it. HE IS WITH JESUS!!!! Who would want to come back. I had felt so bad and asked God "You knew when he was born, that he was leaving at 26"....at the time that seemed so cruel....and I asked the LORD:" Lord, what could make it worth it to go through this? " HE answered me and said: Patti, what if Matt had been born in a family who did not believe in ME? You exposed him to the TRUTH, and he accepted me at 11, and now he is with me. That was worth it for me. I truly would like to get to know you better and email and talk w/you some more......Thanks again, and please continue to pray for me. GOD IS GOOD....ALL THE TIME.....I truly believe that again! I am so glad HE did not give up on me....Blessings, Patti (Matt's Mom).
Dec 11, 2011
Christine Sutton
Thank you for writing to me. i was taking a long break from the group...sometimes I do that when I need it the most. Isn't that funny. Steve's results from his autopsy came back. He died from undetected cardiovascular disease. I find myself feeling very guilty here that I didn't recognize the signs and push more for him to go to the doctors/cardiologist sooner.God takes people when He is ready to take them. I do believe that. But grief doesn't always want us to feel comfortable in that belief. It is a process I suppose. I appreciate all the support here. And I have come far. Thanks to my family and a support group I attend, and you as well,my spirituality is returning to a great extent. If I take long breaks from this site, please know, I bring all the support with me, and will always be back for more...and hopefully...sooner than later..to give support as well!!! God Bless you Christine
Dec 23, 2011
John B
Thanks for reaching out Brenda. Is the photo in your profile your dad ? Sorry to hear that you Lost him as well. I'm doing 'better', however I still FeeL Very uPseT sometimes, as I also Lost "me second mum", Dorothy, who 'adopted' me and passed away 8 months later on what would have been my parent's 54th 'anniversary'. My 'Mother' hung up on me last week after I 'reminded' her that she owes me and my Belated Dad, MANY Apologies for her DENIED oFf/oN Cruel Sarcastic TOUGH 'love' 'comments', PuT DoWnS and "SHOULD's", however she is STUBBORN and cold. Fortunately, she has a Good Heart Deep Down and 'gives' food to 'cover up' her GUILT, Anger & Rage at her own DENIED Alcoholic 'Father' who Died on the same date I was born only 7 years before when she was only 14, so I'm TRYING to 'understand, accept' and forgive her and my 'sister', who is equally full of MiXeD 'messages', as she did the 'best' she could with what she was 'given' in her 'life'. My 'brother' who is WORSE than both of them, is NO longer my 'brother'. I Hope I can Receive GOD'S HELP to LET GO of 'needing' them to be 'nice' and APOLOGIZE for their INsensitivities, however that's 'asking' for MORE than a 'simple' Miracle * (
Jan 11, 2012
John B
Thankyou Brenda. Sorry about your Loss of your Father as well. I wish I had More Faith, however my Father chose to be cremated and I don't even know if it's possible to resurrect a skeleton let alone ashes to a 'new' body in 'heaven', which I hope is Closer than Further somewhere out there in the Infinite Vastness of the Universe. 'Heaven' http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html
Jan 11, 2012
John B
Thankyou Brenda,
I appreciate your kindness. I'm not a Bible oriented Christian, but if you have a few that can help me Believe in the Resurrection, I would be very grateful.
Jan 13, 2012
Ron
I was watching a progam on tv and one think that stuck in my mind was. Put a glove on your hand and wiggle your fingers.Then take the glove off and lay it on the table.It does not move .So what i am saying is your body is just what every one else sees not what God sees. God sees your soul and none are the same .When you leave here. God will give you a new body to go with your soul. The Almighty has the power to do whatever He wishes.
Jan 15, 2012
John B
Thankyou Brenda Ann,
King David wrote: “He(God) himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:14) God made us from “nothing” and he can recreate us also from nothing. (Genesis 2:7) “God proceeded to form the man out of dust from the ground and to blow into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man came to be a living soul.”
This passage gives me some hope, however my analytical visual mind requires Proof. Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus brought anyone back from the dead who was cremated into ashes as my Father was ?
Unfortunately, my Dad told my Best Friend, who assumed he had Faith because he went to Catholic Church every week. However, he told her that he went out of habit, "Because that's what (he) was 'supposed' to do". It's very sad that I haven'T even had any dreams of my Father being in 'heaven' in the past 2 years of my having been in his hospice room when he passed away.
My UNpredictably Sometimes nice buT NaStY 'Mother' however, told me over the phone that she saw his "shadow float from left to right in front of her 6 months after he died", however he had "no feet, arms or head", the latter which made me 'laugh' at the absurdity of her epileptic possibly schizophrenic brain having hallucinated this 'vision'. She told me, "Don'T Laugh !" and then went on to say how the 'old women in her Ukrainian culture told her mother to put food on the table so that the spirit wouldn't come back."
Thankyou for your comforting words. I Hope that my Faith will be Reborn, as it along with my 'Trust' in 'human' beings was ShAtTeReD when I was 5 years old after my own Mother's RAGE Suddenly Grabbed, Dragged and StRiPpeD me Naked and BEAT me with a PLASTIC STRAP Until I was SCREAMING & BEGGING HER TO STOP upstairs in my bedroom for Accidentally breaking her Cheap ashtray while running around the coffee table in our living room chasing my brother having fun.
She has NEVER 'thought' or 'felt' the 'need' to 'apologize', having BLAMED "HIM !" (most likely her DENIED Alcoholic Wife Abusing Daughter Molesting (?) 'Father' who Died on the same day I was born only 7 years earlier. She was only 14 when he died and she must have shuT Down Emotionally then, which 'explains' why she's So COLD and INsensitive to my Father and me, whom she sees as even a Worse 'FAILURE' after I quit teaching to 'please' her as she's Criticial, Sarcastic, Judgemental and DENIES Ever Saying or Doing ANYTHING !" Wrong !
May GOD Forgive her, for I have a VERY Hard time trying to 'understand' let alone 'accept' her as I now See her. However, she Did the 'best' (?) she could being a Good Mother who cooked & cleaned and made sure our Father who didn't want to PAY for having us Gave her the money so we grew up 'healthy'.
This is the only 'heaven' I can see, but hope it's more than cosmic dust and the endless infinity of a very Lonely Universe TOO Vast to comprehend, even though science and technology have made it much 'easier' to see up 'close'.
'Heaven'
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html
Jan 18, 2012
Adam Carr
I was raised Baptist. My father is a preacher as is my brother. My father remarried three months after my mother passed to the housekeeper. When I say I have lost my faith, I still believe in God but I have a tremendous amount of anger and many unanswered questions. I think my feelings of anger with my father also get in the way of my faith. The stress, sadness, and anger along with the fact that I will be separated from my wife for the next four months leave me truly at a loss for support. Thank you for your thoughts.
Adam
Jan 20, 2012
John B
Thankyou Brenda Ann,
I used to write LOTS, however my penmanship has become WoRsE over the years, as my 'Mother' FORCED me to be 'RIGHT' handed "The RIGHT Way !" instead of letting me be Left Handed as 'GOD' created me to be an Artist noT a Banker, Mathematician or Any of the Other 'RIGHT' Handed CONTROL fReAkIn' aNaLyTiCaL 'tYpEs' of 'human' beings who 'lead' or 'run' Bu$ine$$e$ in this 'free' 'DeMocKrAzY we all 'live' UnDeR..some wAy ToO hIgH uP & oVeR..anyway..typing (somewhat like playing a piano, which I tried to learn) seems to ReLiEvE some of my StReSs, and UpLiFt my Lessened DePrEsSiOn, Thanks Mainly to my BEST Friend and Attending the 12 Steps of AL-anon. Thankyou. Hope you are well. John
Jan 28, 2012