Dana LaPaglia

Female

Hesperia, CA

United States

Profile Information:

About Me:: my name is Dana I am 47, a Mother of 4 Boys and 1 GrandDaughter,
About my Loss:: My Mom died March 6,2009. and my Dad died April 19 2009, I took care of both of them, my Mom died unexpectedly and my grief my guilt my thoughts and my memories will not go away! I miss them both so much but my Mom I cant let go of all these feelings they are eating me up inside and nobody understands, not even my Husband whose Father passed away August 16,2009 5 months later unexpectedly also does not understand. He just tells me that I am abcessed with it and I need to let go! well I cant because my Mom died because her Doctor would not listen to me he denied giving her a simple test that would have detected the Ascites she had at which she needed to be drained. I filed a claim against him with the Medical Board which is still in process. I cry every night and miss my Mom so much she was my best friend and they also lived with us so I am reminded of them everyday at every moment in this House, their room is still the same I cant bring myself to clean out their stuff to me it will always be their room. Please if there is anyone out there who understands what I am going through please help I feel like I am losing my mind and things will never get better.

Comment Wall:

Laura Villarreal

Hello Dana, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and dad. While I have not lost my parents (I am 53) my daughter was killed on May 25, 2009. She was 33 years old and my only child. I truly believe there is a special, eternal bond between a mother and her child and this is why the grief is so deep and painful. I am only speaking of the experience of my personal loss; we all grieve differently. This website is so great because we all share the bond of grief. I have also found I can share my thoughts and fears here and later find many others feel the same...I don't feel so alone in my grief. I don't think we ever "get over" the loss of a loved one but instead we weave the grief into our daily lives. It will always be there and on some days we feel it more than others. You don't have to "let her go". Take care and let us know how you are doing.
Laura

Nov 30, 2009
beverly ann

I do know how you feel.I miss my mother so bad it hurts so bad.If you ever need someone to talk to,i'll always be here for you.I found a better website,where people actually answer you.I go by lindsey dawn.It's called daily strength.Please join me over there.If you have any problems finding that website,let me know.

Jan 28, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Thanks I will, and your right about not getting any one to respond I thought it was just me! and how i feel about my Mom I miss her every second of everyday! I really cant explain it except to say that it is like a piece of me died with her,and it is hard to tell anyone that because most just do not understand! so thank you for understand and I will join youi on the other website. Dana.

Jan 29, 2010
Marsha "Marcy" Welch

I was an absolute wreck on the year anniversary of my Mom's death. Somehow I made it through the day, and everyday before and after. I felt terrible guilt for a while, like it was my fault, and now I'm just furious. Not with her, but in general because it seemed so unfair that this would happen to someone so wonderful. Hang in there. My Mom lost both of her parents within a few months also, and a few months before she died. We are human and resiliant-just remember, your family needs you just like you needed your parents.

Feb 3, 2010
diane berk

I am sorry for your loss, the anniversary of my beloved mother is Sunday Feb 7th, I can not believe it has been a year, this is not a day that I don't cry and miss her she and I and my 11 year old son all lived together. My Mom was my son's best friend and they were closer than he and I. He found her passed out on Feb 1st and believes that he caused her to die. I miss her more every day. I "talk" to her daily and still live in the same apartment and her stuff is all around us. My son and I fight due to frustrations and hurt everyday we need counseling and he has to understand that her dying was not his fault. I hope some things get better for you. I know on Sunday we have to go to her grave site and this will be the first time since she laid to rest, in the Jewish faith you are supposed to wait one year to go to her grave, I don't know how I am going to drive back and forth without my a complete melt-down.

Feb 4, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

I blamed myself for my Moms death if only I had taken her to another Doctor ! if I had not listened to him! if I had just listened to my got feeling! If If If, then one day I just broke down and asked her for forgiveness even though I knew that she did not blame me after that I kind of stopped blaming myself, I really did try my best to take care of her and my Dad. And I too cry and miss them both everyday! but Mom was my Best Friend so It is harder with her. We live just 10 minutes from where my Parents and my Brother are buried, so I go out there every week and decorate it looks so pretty, I know my Mom watchs me probably thinking Dana you dont have to do this every week but I do it helps me get through each day. I hope your Son stops blaming himself because it does no good! it just prolongs the grief I know. Ill be thinking of you on Sunday I hope that it helps you.

Feb 4, 2010
Jeremy

I'm sorry for your loss. It's really feels alot better talking to people who has been thru the same experience. My family up in Ohio just don't seem to understand what I'm going thru. My Dad is not supportive at all. I talk to him about once a month on the phone. I know that I will never be the same person that I use to be, but I try to stay positive . I just take it day by day. If you ever want to talk just let me know. Once again I'm so sorry for your loss.

Feb 4, 2010
Dana LaPaglia

Thanks Jeremy, It makes me feel better too, I have a Sister and 2 Brothers they never call and ask how I am doing! they know that I was closer to my Parents since they lived with us for the past 10 years, but there is no calls to ask if I am ok? nothing. This is the only talking about it that I get to do, today was hard a Family Member that I hardly know sent me some Pictures of my Parents,my Dad when he was little and a picture of my Mom and Me when I was 10 years old, it took me by surprise needless to say I broke down. Thanks for being there.

Feb 4, 2010
Eileen Luna

Thanks Dana I feel for you too . my aunt in Ca blames me for my mom 's death . Sometimes I wish she would not say that to me!! She has this thing that she can dp better than me when comes to being a caretaker. Everyone said to me that I did take care of my mom w\ love and patience i should never have any regrets for taking care of her for 9 1\2 years before she past away . Went to every doctor's appointments and followed every advice w\ the nurse , the PT , OT and dietaitian that came to see my mom when she was alive. My sisters calles my dad & I to see how we're doing since my mom past away . Thank you for there for me Dana .
Eileen

Apr 13, 2010
Christian

Diana - Thanks for your lovely note. I'm sorry that you have had so much loss in the last year. My family had a terrible year in 1994 (not that this is a good one). We lost my uncle in June, great uncle in August and grandfather in October, so I can relate to what you're going through.

May 27, 2010
Bailey Eginoire

Thank you for the comment, Dana. I have been leaning on God for strength as much as I can. It's only been a few weeks but already it feels too long. I fear for my dad because he lost the love of his life, and I fear for my brother because the last words he said to my mom were very unkind. It just doesn't seem real. It can't be. I keep thinking I will wake up from this nightmare at some point, but I just can't shake it. Whenever I've lost someone before, they've always said that time heals everything. But when this happened, people have said instead, "Time will help, but it will never fully heal." I don't know what to do with that. I wish you could be guilt free. There are always so many "shoulda, woulda, couldas" that circle your brain when things like this happen, but in reality, we couldn't have done anything. If it was their time to go, it was their time. It may not have been OUR time, but for God, it was. And it doesn't matter anyway because no matter what, the people we loved are gone. Not forever, but until we join them in heaven, that is our reality. And it sucks. I wish your husband could understand.

Oct 14, 2010