i herd a song on the radio today by boney m daddy koool i started thngimg of my daddy my dad loved ths song 2 he liked boney m wen i woz a tean and bort the bony m album home i dont no who enjoyed it more me or my dad he loved by the rivers of boney m 2 and all the songs thy sung but ths song daddy kool always stick out for me maby it coz im a daddys girl i always will be he allways stood up for me wen people wer having a go at me blaming me for thngs wish proly had noting 2 do wit me but my dad used to sing som silly songs i herd 1 of my dads silly songs the othr day it woz like skip skip skip to the lo skip skip skip ti the lou ski to the lou my darling i no he cudnt sing but he woz always make us laff he shud of bean a stand up comidian wit his jokes and silly songs he wud of gave chris rock a run for his mony the diary i fond the othr day 1991 woz wow i mut of only bean a tean thn now im 38 i wonder wear the yrs ago life seams to move faster wen u get to be adult i dont no if its just me

hi stephanie u remid me of me in som ways i loved my daddy dad pa father so mush it kils me in side tht his not arond any more iv even bort his body spray so i can smell him rond the house still i no som people mite thnk im a bit crazy but i cant help it iv got his 2 dresing gowns and a few of his cloths but i cant let any 1 toch thm coz thy still hav his smell on thm i understand how u feal it still hurts me now and its bean nealy a yr i hav a lot of strange dreams abot him wear we go to plase he used to take me wen i get ths strange dreams i dont whont to wake up iv even stat my own dream journla in the house and on hear its like i dont whont the dreams to ever end i had nitemares it 1st last yr thn i had to buy a dream catcher thn thes strange dreams startied coming bac i just wished evry 1 cud live for ever but thy cant 

The Last time I saw my dad ,  I was barely starting out as a teenager.  My sister just  graduated from Junior High School.  My parents were separated but decided to get together for  the   celebration , so the four of us spend the day in N.Y. City Central park.  It was the first time we saw our parents together in a very long time.  It  was actually about ten years since they  spend  some time together.  I remember it was a beautiful sunny day in June .  We had a great time that day in the park .  Everyone got along  well  that  day.  It is still a fond memory for me even after all these years.  At the end of the day we had to  go home  in different   directions.   I lived in Brooklyn  with mom and my  Dad Lived in the  South  Bronx.  I  will never forget how we said our good- by's  and  I watched  my Dad walk away in the opposite direction leaving the park.     He  was headed  for the D train .  For  some unexplained  reason I kept looking  back at him watching him  walk further  and further away from us.    I couldn't  stop myself from turning back to see him  !     Little  did I know that would be the last time I would  ever  see him again in my life !   About a week or so later he  was   mugged in his own apartment  on July 4th  and shot in the head !   He lived for about another two weeks in a coma and then died when we were in the hospital visiting  him!   He was  probably being watched by gang  members. They  decided  to act on July 4th because  it was so noisy from the loud fire crackers  they felt confident  it would muffle the sound of the gun fire !   My dad's killers  were never caught !  But I do believe in God, so I am sure they will get what they deserve or probably have  by now !  

Stephanie,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know the pain you are talking about.  My Dad passed suddenly Sept 2012 and I can't believe how much it hurts.  I just want another hug from him.  Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I can't believe he is gone.  I have recently told myself that it is ok to be happy and feel joy even though he is gone.  This had made a big difference for me.  Oh, I still cry uncontrolably and at anytime but I can now allow myself to be happy.  He wouldn't want me sad all the time because he isn't here.  He loved to have fun and joke around.  Today is his birthday and I am doing well.  I went ot see him yesterday and shed many tears.  I even went to look at headstones as a birthday gift for him.  I know this sounds strange but he understands and I'm sure appreciates my gift.  Hang in there and God Bless you and your family.

Judy,

That is a terrible way to lose your Dad.  I am so sorry.   But what a fond memory to cherish.  Take care and God Bless.

I was reading an earlier post about seeing their father's vehicle in the driveway day after day since his passing.  I can relate to this since he was always home before me and seeing his truck just parked in the driveway knowing he I wouldn't be seeing him when I walked through the door was tough to do... Subsequently, one of my favorite new songs is "I drive your truck" which tells a similar story.  

its coming up to the first yr since my dad died.. im lost.. i just want my dad to tell me its going to be ok .. my daughter and my dad died in the same month.. April.. i dont know how to deal with it so i just keep pushing it down.. i kno its not good.. im so tired of feeling that i need to be strong for my kids and grand daughter.. its so sad. i just try to keep busy .. wot else is there??

I just lost my daddy three months ago almost four. He passed away on Dec 3rd,2012.

I miss my dad.  That is all I want to say tonight - I miss you, Daddy!  I hope you are happy and safe and at peace where you are and that I see you again one day.  I love you.

It's been 18 months now. Some days I am fine and some days I still struggle. I take it day by day and am so so thankful I had him.

iv bean told the sam thng monique i got told it woz easy get ovr it

but i cant me and my daddy had a spesel bond we wear so close my mum says i woz sush a daddys girl i woz my mum woz the sam she woz a daddys girl 2 wi her dad but i nver met him my mum nevr got ovr lzing her parents but i nevr ask her coz i dont whont to upset her

her mother got burnt and died in a fire so u never ask her abot it woz before i woz born all i no it woz bad whot i v bean told all i no my mum looket after her dad for3 or 4 yrs aftr it hapend wen she strt dating my dad he helpt loket aftr him even wen thy got marie in 1973 april he help lookt after him till he died in 1973 mat a month aftr thy got marie the story i got told a lot of tims but i nev push it or ask mum in case i upset her 

the 1s wh say get over thy ethr hav no fealings or th hav nver lost any 1 yet

iv co across a few dreams iv had on vid chanels lik break vech ulstream jsutin tv and vimeo but ths 1 iv com acros a few tims in my dreamslink http://vimeo.com/gtimage/lake the lake embed code

Monique

I know what your saying, yesterday was the 10 month anniversary, sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday Dad passed.  I miss him so much it hurts. 

saw somthng on tv today brot it all bac li the day i lost my dad it still hurts so mush now its bean a yr 

i got told it woz easy to get death but i dnt thk it is easy its so hrd

it seasm to get hrder as get older an al the deaths i had in jan did not help

whot mad it worse woz my cuzen in law steve died on the sam sh@t ward my dad died on an surgate uncle died on

I was reading the posts where people said to just get over it that it is easy.  How horrible.  But, I know how you feel.  My own husband said it to me two days after my dad died, and my husband isn't a bad guy or an abusive husband or anything like that.  He's a nice guy who just doesn't get it partly cuz he hasn't lost his parents yet and partly cuz he doesn't have the type of relationships I have.  He almost never calls his parents and me and my folks were together almost daily and were bonded so deep that I can't believe even death could break that bond.  But, two days after my dad's funeral I was sitting on the couch and just started crying out of no place, and my husband said to me that I couldn't use my dad's death as an excuse forever.  What?  It was two days after his funeral!!!!!  Now, it has been over a year, and I still hurt and miss him every day.  Same for my Mom who died before my dad, and I still miss her that much.  I can't even begin to understand why people would say something like that.  It just seems so hateful.  I hope I never said anything like that to anyone before I lost someone I loved enough to understand.

Storyas Fawnfeather

My family is a lot like yours.  We are very close knit, my parent's house is only 10 minutes away from mine.  I called everyday, I would check on both of them.  I consider myself lucky as my husband lost his mother before we met and he understood my pain.  I still burst into tears at times and it is 10 months.  Especially when certain songs play, the morning after my father passed I was driving and passed by the hospice where Dad passed away. As I drove by the song "Have I Told You That I Love You" started to play.  I still cry when I hear that song, it is like part of my heart is being ripped out of me.  My Dad was my hero, my protector and my cheerleader.  Like you I had time to talk to Dad, I told him how much I loved him, how grateful I was to have him as a father.  I even apologized for all the times I was difficult and stubborn with him.  Nothing prepared me for the deep loss, there are times I still expect him to be in the parlor sitting and waiting for me.  The loss I still feel, I try to be there for my mother but its hard to be in the home where he was.  The holiday season was very difficult and those I worked with did not understand my non interest. In sharp contrast my husband lost his father six months after mine passed.  He was very strong, but his father lived 4 hours away and we had only visited him a few times.  My husband called him often but the closeness you and I enjoy with our families he did not have.  His family loves each other but there is some emotional and physical distance.

it dose help on hear monique it the only plase wear evry 1 undastands us  wear no 1 says get over it i no none of us will get over lozing our loved 1s coz we no its hard

Denise - I know how you feel.  My dad died a year and a half ago, and I still miss him so much.  Just today I went to the JoAnn Fabrics in a neighborhood  near my dad's doctor.  Well, I was getting off the freeway exit and saw my dad's doctors building and started crying.  Then, I got to JoAnn Fabrics where me and my Mom used to go together all the time and then spend Saturdays sewing together, and I started crying again, and she died before my dad.  So many people tell me I should be over it, but I have decided at this point that I will never be over it.  We were like soul mates or something.  They completed me.  I'm not complete any more.  I have just faced the fact that although it is easier than it was when they first died, that I will never be right again without them, and that is just something I have to live with.  I wonder if it is because I was so close to them - and most especially my Mom as Mothers and daughters always have their own little female bond and sharing going on but I loved them both always - or if the other people are grieving as much as me and just hiding it better than I do.  I don't know.  I do hope that it one day gets better for you.  I don't know if I want it to get any better for me any more - I'd rather hurt than not feel them at all.  But, maybe it is getting a bit better as I haven't sewed since my Mom died and I decided that I want a green skirt, so I went to the fabric store and bought green fabric today.  My creativity seems to be coming back a bit.  I have this old velvet dress that I don't want any more, and I decided to cut it up this weekend and make a hobo bag out of it since velvet is so expensive.  I haven't really sewed since my Mom died, so maybe the fact that I was willing to face the pain and become a little creative is a sign that I'm starting to heal.  I don't know.  I just don't ever want to forget them.  I don't ever want to stop cherishing what we had together.  Every day I want to be able to get in my car and drive to their house like I used to.

Monique, maybe they are hurting as bad as you are but just hide it better or are in denial or don't want to look weak - but how can we ever know unless they someday open up to us.

jb - I agree with you - it's like I just said earlier in this post - I will never be the same.  It might hurt a bit less now than it did when it first happened, but I will never be the same.  I just have to accept that and recognize that even though it hurts that I am lucky that I loved my parents so much that I can't be the same without them.

Hi Storyas,

I don't believe we could ever forget our loved ones that have passed.  I think your Mom would want you to continue sewing and that may be a great way to honor her. 

to dad happpy easta wish u wear still hear love u

my dad lovd easta monique coz he lovd to eat a lot of sweets he did

he lovd any thn frm kit kats to mars bars or twixes he juts lovd sweet stuf he did

i no easta & xmas will be hard frm now on coz my dad lovd xmas 2 coz he cud eat a lot of food  lots of sweets he did

it dnt feal lik easta now it woz the sam lst yr my 1st easta lst yr witout my dad now th 2nd yr seams jst has hrd

i just hop alll our daddys r havin a beter tim up wear thy r 

my dad 2 lovd deserst he did any thng i left he wud eat my levings he did he lovd icecrem my dad did ur any cake 

he lovd any meat u cud eat lik a big turky leg or chickn beef pork he wud eat the turky leg or chickin leg in his hand isted of using a fork or nife he wud 

i miss al the silly thngs i dolik his silly songs he usd to sing or his jokes all the stuf ill nevr get to sea again

I went to church yesterday.  My mom still goes there too.  I met a lady who didn't remember me until I told her whose daughter I am.  The first things she said was, "I just loved your dad.  He always had a joke for me."  Daddy loved the church.  The Sunday before he died on Fri (5/3/10) he was able to go to church for the last time and they gave him a plaque in recognition of his service & dedication to the church.  I'm blessed to have such wonderful parents.  My little mother is trying so hard to be strong, but time is taking it's toll on her.  My brother died 8 weeks before Daddy and Mom found him in his apartment.  Just a few weeks ago she had to put Daddy's dog to sleep.  She's struggling with physical pain too.  It breaks my heart and I try to do my best to help her, but I haven't figured out how to take the physical or emotional pain away.

i no i shud go to church a bit more granakine but so far iv only bean going for funrellss now evry funrel seams to be geting worse

easta my dad loved easta i used to buy him a easta egg my mum a easta egg my dad wud eat his thn help my mum eat hers th if i got any it wud a bit of my egg 

i used to buy a pic mix swet stuf it all sorts of difrnt chok candy my dad wud eat most of it now i dnt buy it coz i fel sad my dad cnt eat it

my mum has depresion sins my dad died i jst wish death cud nevr happn

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to share a personal project with you in the hope that it might help you in some way.

A close friend of mine was suddenly killed in early 2012, and in the aftermath, it occurred to me that there are limited online places to commemorate someone with your family and friends - so I built www.memorypins.org as a place to remember Rachael and for others to remember loved ones that they have lost.

The site allows you to set up a board in remembrance of someone, that anyone can post to , and also allows people to choose a charity close to their loved one’s heart that everyone can donate to.

I hope it helps in some small way to bring your memories of your loved ones together.

If you have any thoughts or questions I would be happy to answer them on this forum or my email: paddy@memorypins.org.

Best wishes,

Paddy

LJ,

Congratulations to both your children!  Great job.  Even though your Dad is not here physically, he is spiritually.  And he is so proud of them just like he was here.  I'm sure your Dad will let you know how to handle or who to choose for your son's graduation cap.  Just don't let you grieving overshadow your children's accomplishments.

to dad wish u wear still hear i hop u lik my foto i got it least thr wont be aby spelling mistaks on it 

dad i luv u wish u wear still hear i miss yore silly songs yore silllly litl danse u use to do

me 2 miss my dadio to i no it will ner stop hurtn i feal lik a litl girl of 6 cryng for him still

i no my mum misss him so mush coz april 14 woz th rwedn anversy 40nyrs

Hi all, just checking in. It's been a little over a year since my Dad passed away and I miss him so much. Especially during the hard times in life when I could use his smile or humor to help get me through it. I know he is looking down on me and my husband right now. 

Since Sept 2012 my husband has been battling his own illness. He had an invasive fungal infection in his sinuses that spread to his brain. He just got out of surgery yesterday for a biopsy they've done to see if it has spread further into his brain. 

It's been tough. I've been taking care of him alone and it's always been my Dad right there with me through all the waiting in the past when I've had to deal with other issues my husband's had and hospitalizations. 

But I know he is looking down on us and protecting us as best he can from where he is now. 

I've had a lot of hardship with first losing my father and then in the same year my husband getting sick but I'm fighting through it, staying positive and keeping things together as best I can. Even though, I feel I've been running so much that even a year later, I still haven't really had the time to properly grieve the loss of my Dad. 

When we were married, my Dad let me have is wedding band (he and my mother had separated by this time) for my husband's ring. For Christmas, my husband had the ring sized and engraved so I could wear it and it says, "I'm always with you, Cookie." That's what my family calls me. So, every time I've just having a rough day, I look down at that ring and it reminds me of how blessed I am to have such a thoughtful and wonderful husband but that my dad is still watching over me and it makes me feel much better. Even though sometimes it will also make me cry. 

Just wishing my husband's results come back good so we can finally get him healthy and move past all the craziness the past year. 

Casandra will keep your husband in my thoughts.  It will be a year soon for me since my Dad passed.  I feel just the way you do, and I know Dad is probably making sure I stay somewhat grounded, cause we are going through some really tough financial issues. Dad would always listen and tell me it will get better.  

I think what your husband did was wonderful, I talked my Mom into making Dad's wedding ring into a heart pendant so she could keep him with her. 

Monique,

That is a great idea and I agree that your Dad would want you to continue taking care of the garden.  I'm sure it will also be healing for you.  I have found honoring my Dad is very rewarding.  He always participated in the MDA motorcycle events so we have made donations in his name and memory.  Take care.

dad i miss u wish u wear still hear 

i  no if u wear hear u wud of likt ths song

link http://vimeo.com/53156934 gabrielle aplin 'the power of love' embed code

Yesterday my Dad's motorcycle driven away by it's new owner.  I knew it would be tough but I didn't expect to be so bad.  It felt like a part of me was leaving with it.  The bike was Dad's pride and joy, it meant a lot to him.  I took many rides with Dad both on the back of the bike and also riding my own along side of him.  Still feeling a little  numb this morning.  The couple that bought it said that they would pick up where Dad left off and ride it with joy.  Miss you Dad and love you!

I miss my daddy so much. I'm only 22 and I never expected him to be gone so soon. He lived in another country and I hadn't seen him in years but I was the center of his world. I haven't been able to even see where he is buried yet. It is so hard when I think of all of the things I wish I had said to him while I had the chance :( I think about him every day.

Today is my daddy's 3rd Angel Day.  It still hurts a lot.  My brother died 8 weeks before Daddy.  The last 3 yrs have changed me significantly.  Yes, the world has gone on, but it's such a different world.  My parents were married 2 weeks shy of 64 yrs.  Now, my mom is lost without him.  My surviving brother lives in another state.  So, I'm responsible for helping Mom.  That's fine except the pain I see in her from loneliness and she's also in physical pain @ 83 yrs old.  I am blessed in many ways with the love of a close family and friends.  It's just difficult without Our Rock, my Daddy. 

May 20th will be Dad's first Angel Day, gramaokie I love the reference, because I believe in my heart that my Dad is an angel watching over us.  Mom and Dad would have been married 50 years this past September, like your Mom, my mother is lost without him.  I miss my father incredibly, just this week I was talking to a childhood  friend (30 years) who had inquired as to how we were doing.  Her reaction to my pain was heartbreaking, she was so cold and said "its not like he was killed in a car accident, you knew he was dying".  Yes I did, but the heart still aches for him, and her words only hurt me.  I had always been there for her, when her father was diagnosed with Luekemia on Christmas Even, I dropped everything to sit with her and give her support.  When he has his heart attack, again I was there for her.   My Dad used to say she was a good friend to me, right now... the pain she has caused does not feel like a friendship gesture.   She still has her Daddy, I do not.  I dropped everything to support her when her father was ill, when it was time for me she was too busy or was reminding of the fact that the disease would take him.  In fact she even brought up the subject of how she felt when her father was diangosed.  I so wanted to remind her that she still has her father.  I feel the loss now as much as I did the day his suffering ended.    Until one loses a parent, one does not understand the pain the heart feels.  I miss you Daddy, right now my heart aches more than ever for you. 

im dreding fathers day dennise i get sic of sean the carsd in th shops i do

im even get emails oabot it i am 

i no whot u mean as well abot peple  sayin hurtful thngs or sillyy thngs  i do ist lik thy hav fealing but thy can hurt our fealings i get sic of peple sayin get over it its easy th 1s it say hav nevr lost any 1 all i no it hrts like hell