its ok storyas i no u wernt blaming me for that we hav trubel over hear with hoodies to a lot of shops have banned hoddies from the shops the shops that havent gone bust that is even old age penshers hav bean told to leave the shops coz they weren a hoody to now i try to keep the hood down it the time i woz just geting over a bad chest infension i no i shud of got my flu jab but didnt im a scaredy cat wen it comes to neadeals any rhng medical makes me want to throw up im worse at it now

Happy Bday Daddy!!. Wishing you were here to give you a big hug! I Love you!

i woz sayong to mum to day that funny song he used to sing i no he didnt hav a good singing voce but he woz very funny he wood sing ul never get to heven with sky blue hair and they l never let u in side heven with brite pink hair but if yore barldy u hav curly hair wen he used to sing it it sound arful wen he used to sing but funny wen he used to sing it i no i cant sing

Amanda - I'm sorry that your dad is not here to share his birthday with you.  That is hard!  I bet he is with you still but just not in the same way, so it's still hard.

jb - I'm sorry I haven't been on for a while.  It's been crazy.  We are doing a major house repair, and it's one thing after the other.  Just the planning process was started two or three months ago - paperwork, paperwork, paperwork - and it's still not done.  We went to get the permit to tear down a six foot tall 160 foot retaining wall and rebuild it on Friday, and they want more paperwork.  Now I have to hire an engineer and get blueprints drawn up before they will give us the permit.  The work still hasn't started yet.  It's kinda urgent as this huge wall is leaning and I'm starting to think we won't even have the paperwork done to do the work before the winter weather comes, which means I'll have to wait til next year.  Well, we'll see what happens.  Maybe we can get it started soon and get it done this year.  Plus, my husband started insulin and is steadily increasing it, but his blood sugar is still very high, and the high blood sugar makes him not be so nice.  He's been pretty difficult to be around lately, and I'm having a hard time at this point keeping my patience with him.  But, I haven't forgotten about my friends on here.  Sorry I've been away so long again.  To answer your emails - it's a shame that crime is getting so bad that we have to be so careful about hoodies.  You must have it even worse than we do as most stores over here still do sell hoodies.  I don't know of any that won't sell them, but when you buy them, you run the risk of getting harassed.  Your dad sounds like so much fun.  My dad never sang, but he loved to tell jokes and pull practical jokes.  No one in my family has a good singing voice, so we just don't sing.  I sing so bad a man in church once asked me to tone it down cuz I was singing too loud and hurting his ears - that was in my old church; my current church is a lot more accepting.  I sing my heart out there and people just smile at me, but I know what that smile means.  One time our choir director asked me if I'd like to be int he choir, and i said no.  When he asked why, I told him that I had a dog choir in my house - every time I sing the dog choir starts howling.  He didn't know when he asked that I can't sing.  He's kinda new.  But, i think it's great that someone can enjoy singing like your dad did without worrying about singing.  There was a famous clothes designer that I once read in a magazine who said that one thing he finds attractive in a woman is a woman who can't carry a tune in a bucket but has the confidence and the joy in life to sing at the top of her lungs any way.  That designer would have loved your dad's song, I'm sure.

my cuzens husband who is dibetic has side efects thats wot mite be making him feal moody i just hope they get the isurlen rite for him my dad to woz pratikal joker and he used to allways tell us sum funny storys that realy happend my dad wozent very religes but 1 day him and his buddy had to go in side a church coz it woz raining that bad soon as it stopet raining he come out of the church he put his foot in a big pile of do sh@t wot made it worse they wer his best shoes that happend before i woz born but wen he told me that i cudnt stop laffing

jb - my husband's blood sugar is very very slowly starting to come down as they increase his insulin a bit every three days.  He will be okay soon.  Thank you for showing concern for him.  I will be glad when these moods stop.

That is a funny story about your dad leaving church and stepping in dog poo - I can just picture him in my head telling that story.  My dad had this friend he'd had since before they were married.  Their flea market stands were right next to each other.  They'd probably known each other for sixty years then.  They talked so mean to each other in joking fun that I told my dad one time that I would never understand men, because if women talked to each other like that we'd cry and never talk to each other again.  As their health failed, instead of being all grumpy gus's about it, they would tease each other.  I have an SUV that sits high like a pickup truck, so my dad started having trouble getting into it.  When his friend, whose name was Harry, would help him he'd be saying, "I ain't buying this helpless routine, you ol' goat, you quit being a lazy bum and get your lazy arse up in that truck."  And, my dad would talk the same way to him.  And, they'd laugh and laugh and laugh, and I'd be standing their with my mouth hanging open thinking, "How can they talk to each other like that and be such good friends."

Another time my dad's friend gave him a rubber snake for a present.  My dad loved toy snakes - stuffed, rubber, plastic, etc.  My dad grew up so poor and abused that he never had a toy his entire childhood.  When his kids got grown and he had some extra money, he started collecting matchbox cars, dog figurines and toy snakes.  He had them all on this stand that he kept displayed.  Well, his friend gave him one right before April Fool's Day (do you have April Fool's day in the UK?).  Well, my dad told me to call his friend and tell him he'd had a moment of dementia and stuck that snake up his nose and he was on the way to the hospital to have it surgically removed.  His friend believed him.  He was like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry I did that to your Daddy.  I'm so sorry."  Then, my dad started laughing and we both said April Fools.  My dad's friend at first was a little upset with us, but he got over it and started laughing soon too.

I could go on and on.  My dad was very funny.  Even during his last days of life, he had a surgery.  His doctor came up to talk to him and answer any questions, and then the doctor said, "Don't worry, young man, I'm gonna do a great job for you."  My dad just said, "You'd better," but the way he said it in his humorous way, the whole medical team started laughing.

I miss my dad so much.  I know you miss your dad just as much too.

we get april fools over har my poor big brover woz the victom of 1 of my praticl jokes i foned him onse with a terbel acsent and said that he had won a holliday that he woz chosen 1st he woz that happy till i saed april fool i played 1 on my anti i put a sticker on her saying sale harf prise me and my dad let her leave our house befores she went to the bingo and back to her own home her dortr saed s no body bort her and she new it woz me and my dad who did it

i just remberd 1 of the other songs my dad used to sing ther woz a man and the moon who rode a cow that climed on top of the moon it got stuck high on the moon i dont no wer he got thm from i thnk that wer i get my over activ imanginnation from my dad its bean lefr to me to cary it oin i wishit id recorded my dad singin all his funny songs i no he cudnt sing but the songs iv remberd woz the last 1 i printed on hear and this 1 and his jokes w very funny if he ate to much beef hed say iv got mad cow desese moo moo im looking like a cow and if he had lamb hed say ba ba ba im turning in to a sheep i no uv herd all the chicken and turky jokes he used to say and if wed bean to a party and drank to much stella or coors hed say uv drunk sum drank last nite it least i drink in modration 

jb - hi.  Wow.  I got on here thinking there would be pages of messages cuz I haven't been on for a couple of weeks, but there are only these two from you answering my last message.  I wish that meant no one lost their dad in the last two weeks, but it's a big world, so I know that is not the case.  I hope my dad and your dad are hanging out in heaven, because they were so much alike.  Those are funny practical jokes you shared.  My dad loved practical jokes so much.  Our last name, at least before i got married, is Parton.  My dad got everyone at this one huge company he worked at convinced that Dolly Parton was his ex-wife..  It started with this one guy getting on the elevator and talking nasty about Dolly's bosoms, and my dad said, "Hey, do you know my last name?"  The guy said, "Yeah, Parton."  My dad said, "Hey, have a little respect and don't talk about my ex-wife that way."  The guy got all flustered and started apologizing and spread it all over the work place only for my dad to announce on April Fool's day that it was all a joke.  People thought it was hilarious.  My dad never really sang songs, but I sing goofy songs like that all the time, so I figure I got it from my dad since he was the one who had that kind of sense of humor.  One of the songs I've been singing lately is from That's Amore, only I've been changing the words (to get the kids to laugh) to "If your down by the sea and an eel bites your knees that's A Moray".  I figure I got this sense of humor from my dad.  My dad never got to go to school or get any education at all.  He couldn't read or write, so I don't know if he knew the words to songs well enough to make them funny or he would have cuz he was always making jokes about everything and pulling practical jokes.  He used to make Mad Cow jokes too when Mad Cow disease was out.  I hope they are hanging out in heaven together and just having the time of their lives.

my dad woz good at a lot of thngs art making joks up and reading books and holding on at the lst minit ow geting treatment i to take after him for that ryt  to fite it my self then rather get help  i got told off by a parmedic who cum out to me onse she told me i wil hold on onse to often and we will be trying to revive u u get sum who foned thm out for a cut o n a  finger and the likes of me holding till the last the minit hear is another 1 of my dads funny saying if he woz eating a mixture of all sorts he wood say im eating ash macandi i still dont no wot it means  and sum times i used to ask dad wer u going he wood say the bunrada triangel to sea how far it is and that woz on to day on unsolved mystryes

dont wory abot yore dad not bean abel to read storyas my granmother kate cudnt read seh had to loof after her brothes and sistas my dad used to tell me i thnk tht why she livid till 89 my grandad my dads dad i never met but i feal like i new him my dad used to tell me he used to hell the under taker out caring the coffens and driving the herse and limos fr funralls the only grandad i new woz my step grandad and my dad loved both of thm he did iv got dislexsia wer i spell a lot of words wong and get the letters jumbled up so do a lot of my cuzens and didnt find out till it woz to late yea i get im stupit and a dumbo and a thiko but i never judg any 1 iv got all my dads funny habits holdin on at the lats minit rud ratga suffer in pane thn get tretment but thy say pepol with tht r gud at otha thngs i tryed niting onse but tht woz a distar it fel apart i tryed sowing but i mad the stitches to big but fotogary woz my gift iv even bean told il die with a camra in my hand my cuzen husbnd died joging wot he liket doing went out for a jog and dropet doon ded doing it i no shel never got ova it and luzing my dad her favret unle it woz so funny my dad woz evry 1s favret unle thr woz 1 jok i left on my brothas mobil i told him our ol st had blew up he foned me panican till i sed april fool he told me off fow doing tht but bhis wif fort it woz hilleress she did

p;ussss thres anota reason id rata suffeer in pain a dr ask r u algerick to any thng u tellt hm thy take no notice a few yrs ago it happend to me r u allgeriik to any thng i saed penasillen wot do thy giv me penasasillen and wot do i get a allegic we actsion scratsion bean sic on the tolit to musch and brething funny even my dad sed at the tim thy shud of checket my medical records allgic to penasillen im not th only 1 in th family allgic to tht i no it mite sav a lot livs but sum pepol it can kill and im not gud wit neadels thy mak me ill i hope deap don the hospule apomtmant im waitg for i hop thy hav fogot abot me  th fort of seting fut in ther makes me feak ill

this woz my dad wen he woz a baby i no fotos wernt gud thm dayz my cuzen gav us this 1 a fer yrs  ago 

saw 1 of my dads cuzens today and we weer saying if all our loved 1s we lost cud cum bac wed hav a big party only trubl is on my dads side its tht big u wudnt find a room or hall big infuf to fit us all in my granmother kate woz the oldesest of 21 kids i got told 6 sets of twins and my grandad my dads dad i never met him woz the oldest out of 12 i no my family sond big lately th only tim we sea thm is at funralls and wedings and cristnons and ther has bean a bit of a family fued going on fow yrs but i try to keap out of it or big birfdays wen thy hav a party and u still cant fit thm all in onmy mums side its samall but my dads sid is very big 

i havent got kids 

funny thng i said to mum today coz she woz eating fish fingersas i no i wont tuch fish coz of an embarsent acsedent with a fish bone but i saed to mum how do u no wen a fish has fingerss and mum says u r saying 1 of yore dads joke s wen it sticks 2 fingers up at u for eating it i sum tims hear my dad singing 1 off his funny songs but i no he cant coz his not hear or unless its his spiret or sumthng supernatserallll like tht

its bean raining today and my dad used to say its rainning wet water

i saw 1 of my dads old frenid who woz asking how he woz he got a shock wen i told him that he died on that horbel ward and my dads freind mother in law she died on that ward and got the same crappy treament of the english nurses who didnt help he told me i even said to my dads mate if i end up on that ward wish i hope i dont ill book my plase with the under taker u mite as well 

my mum fonud sum of my dads ice choklite lollys in the freazer he must of hid them ther part of me felt sad coz his not hear any more to eat them and part of me smillied but i felt guilty for smilling coz i havent dun that smilling mush this yer i no he woz all ways hiding sweet stuff he woz any thnk sweat i cud leave on the tabel he wud eat it but leave the rapper on the tabel he used to drink diet coke but he stopet drinking it and start drinking gingear bear but me i cant stop drinking diet coke drank the stuf sinse i woz 14 i now no its bad for u but meds ar worse espesely serten pain killers iv had to stop taking thm myself thy had me loopy and feline like a zobbie id rather hav the pain iv got in my top right arm and sholder i no its swollen and red and painfull still wait for that othapedic apointment if and wen thy get rond to send me it all i seam to get is junk mail my dad still gets mail eye test life insurense get a mobilty car he cudnt even drive i no i cant drive id be scared in case i hit sum 1 im starting to get bac in to my art and having a go at the spelling gamess on line to improve my spelling and to help my dslexia i no teacher ar lot more kinderthese days 

jb - I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to write back on this group.  I've been on After Death Communication earlier this week, but not been on here for a month.  My husband been sick and I'm pretty much finding myself being a caregiver again.  Thank you for your patience.

I read all of your posts.  let me try to remember everything and answer it.  I can totally understand your fear of doctors.  I have the same fear.  It is so bad with me that it is a phobia, and I am seeing a counselor about it.  I know I have to get over it, but after all the mistakes I saw them make with my mom and my dad and me with an earlier illness and my friend right now - it is hard to trust them.  But, I'm not going to tell you any detailed stories or I will make you even more afraid of doctors than you are now and you will really be putting things off til the last minute.  My dad, like your dad, was that way when he was young, but after he got really sick, he wasn't so bad. He'd go to the doctor most times then.  There was one doctor he hated going to that scared him - I think because a surgery he had had with him was more difficult than my dad thought it would be - so I'd always tell my dad, "You are just going for the test, not the surgery again" and then he would go.  I miss taking care of him at home so much.  He was able to get out then, and we'd do things together.  Even stuff like going out to eat after a doctor's appointment was nice, because I was with him.  I miss him so much.

Like you - I never had children.  I had health difficulties that made it too difficult for me to have children.  I sometimes wish I would have had them, but mostly I'm okay with it, because I have many nieces and nephews I have always been very close to.  It sounds like you have a very large family, so you probably have nieces and nephews too that you are close to.

If I understood you right, you said you have dyslexia.  I had a girlfriend once who had that.  I think you do very well at communicating for someone with dyslexia.  You do much better than my friend did.

You are right - everyone has their gifts.  I want to take beautiful pictures so bad, but rarely do I get a good one.  If I do, it is luck.  But, I can knit - I'm not a great knitter, but I can knit for my enjoyment.  I also like to write stories.  But, we all have our gifts as you said - put a camera in my hand and it may as well be a brick you are asking me to take pictures with.  I am useless.  You take very good pictures.

I like the picture of your dad when he was a baby.  I remember when you showed me a picture of him when he was older once, and you know what - he looked a lot the same when he was a baby as when he was older - he had the same facial features.  He was a cute little baby.  Thanks for sharing that picture.  I don't think I have any pictures of my dad when he was a baby.  My dad's parents were abusive and neglectful and didn't put much stock in stuff like pictures of their kids.  My dad turned out to be such a good man when you consider where he came from and what his parents were like.  I'm going to be copying some pictures tomorrow though, and I will post one if I find one of him when he was young.

It sounds like you and I are a lot alike - there are a lot of medicines I can't take either.  They don't affect me like they are supposed to and most of the time I have to go off of them.  Thank God they found a blood pressure medicine that works good for me as I really needed blood pressure medicine.  My blood pressure was very high from all the stress I've been under the last few years.  Most medicines don't work for me, but I guess God knew I really needed this one, so he led the doctor to give me the one that would work for me.  I'm grateful for that.

I know what you mean about finding your dad's chocolate lollys.

The screen turned pink and it said I had too many characters, so I guess I'll have to finish in a second message.  I was cleaning out some of my dad's paperwork this week, and I found a Kit Kat wrapper.  He loved Kit Kats.  At first I smiled from the good memory of watching him enjoy them, and then I started crying cuz he couldn't enjoy them any more.  And, one day this week I had a bit of a cheese ball, and I started crying because I remembered that the last Thanksgiving we had together my mom asked me if I'd make her a cheeseball and then she died before I got it made.  I felt so guilty that I never got that cheeseball made for her, but then I wonder - do they really care any more where they are.  Maybe they are so happy they don't care about cheeseballs any more.  But, I do wish I would have gotten it made for her and brought that little bit more pleasure to her life before she died.  Like your dad, my dad loved sweets.  He always had them stashed away in his drawer, and everyone kept his drawer full for him, because we knew how much he loved them.  He would eat candy all day long and never even gain one ounce.  I've never figured that one out - but my niece is like that too, so I guess she inherited his metabolism.

Have you been to the orthopedic appointment for your shoulder yet?  Is it any better?

It was the same way with my dad - the place where he got the crappy treatment we later found out they treated many people that way.  If I ever get so sick that I end up there, I'll be booking the undertaker before I go too.  If they treat one person that way, they are treating every person that way.

What you said about seeing your cousins and saying you wish everyone could be together again that has passed on but there wouldn't be room - that reminded me of this beautiful picture I saw about visiting hours in heaven.  I will post it on a third message in a minute.

I think I answered most of what you said.  I'll try to be on here more now that things are settling down a little with my husband's care.  Thank you for being so patient when I was away for a month and you were writing.

I guess I'll close now.  I hope you have a good weekend and that your shoulder is doing better. 

jb - I can't find that visiting hours in heaven picture, but I will try to find it over the weekend and post it.  I think my niece might know where it is.  Sorry.

hhmmm... bad day today... miss my dad sooo much... I'm trying to 'dig myself out' of the sadness and remember the happy times... but yet again the sadness takes over... Even though I talk to him daily, it's just not the same... I miss him beyond belief... the emotions are all over the place...sadness, guilt, anger... 6 month annivarsary on Monday... feels like yesterday.... need and want him back...but can't... again I ask...how do I live on?

Kim does it help you any to talk about the good things about your Dad and share that with others? My dad will be gone 4 years on the 11th. He was a wonderful, smart, loving gifted intelligent amazing man..I mentioning that from time to time. It makes me feel good to talk about how great he was to me and my family. H lived til 90. I learned how to cook from hin and right now I am cooking up storm..making a lot of things this week in honor of him. I don't know how in the world I will survive losing my mom...She is 87...I just know that because of them we have these great gifts inside of us that we can use to honor them. My father would be so proud of a few things I have done..and a couple of other things he would say..What were you thinking? lol.  He would love and accept me anyway..Kim, I feel your angst  My sister is very ill and she was my best friend and I feel like I am losing her also. These are the unfair parts of life..I look to God and lean on friends and the strength my Mom and Dad taught me and I think..I am not as good as they were..How can I handle  this?But they taught me I must. The only other alternative is to lay down and die...any maybe one day I will but for right now I will choose life until my reasons to live are gone..then maybe it will be time to go the next world and be in his presence..For now he tells me to stand  strong  and know that he is watching over me as I am sure your Dad is also.  They would want us to live. But if they would miss us so much that they need us where they are :) then God will take care of take of that..In the meanwhile..I pray you get some relief from you pain and find some thing..even if soemthing small to pour your heart in to to help distract from the pain..even if for a minute, an hour a second..but anything you need to soften the feelings that ebb and flow each day. Sorry for your loss.

i do the same thng kim tark to my dad tark to his foto evry day it hurts like mad tht his not hear any more my dad cud cook to laura but nobody likes my cookinng thats happend to me to storyas the screan turning pink i no i nead to get over my fobia of drs even nurses i nead 2 its just got worse the way my dad died on tht last ward with lazy nursess doing nothingg and a few yrs ago i got took to cazualty this yung dr tryng to take blood out of me wishs is like geting blood out of a stone iv got no veans i haventt stuck the neeldl im my arm and had blood all over i thnk id rather trust fredddie kruger to do tht it least he wud of fond a vein 1 of my cuzens on my dads side my dads neise she puts a lot of salt on her food worse thn i do thm salt satchets u get she puts abot 12 or more on i only put abot 8 on but i no my dad told me his dad used to do the same so i must take after him for doing thtthe sam as my cuzen havnt sean her sinse my dads funrell

 dad aged 14 i no its not a goood 1 but thm dayz they wernt 

hears 1 of my drawings its not finishit yet neads paint on

Hi all. Lost my dad over 5 months ago...Doesn't seem that long... I have skimmed over  most of the posts and I feel for you.

Hi.  That is weird.  I had to join this group this morning to get on even though I've belonged for a long time.  Wonder what that was about?

Miranda - I am so so so  sorry about your dad.  It has only been a few weeks, so the pain is so fresh.  It does get better, but it does take time.  I am sorry you are hurting so bad now.  I had a similar experience.  When he first died, I went numb.  I got the call and numbly went to the kitchen, poured a glass of wine and just sat and stared at the wall the rest of the night.  My husband came down the next morning and I said, "My dad died."  No tears, no emotions.  I was numb.  I just sat there staring at the wall.  Then, we got to the funeral, and I saw the hearse and I showed no emotion but my whole body went into a panic.  I was breathing hard and thinking, "I can't drive behind that thing.  I can't see him put into that thing."  God spared me that.  It was raining so hard that they asked no one to follow the hearse.  They took him up and buried him and then came back to the after-dinner and took only the family up to the grave site.  But, then we got in the funeral home and I walked in and saw him in that coffin and I ran a few steps forward and then stepped a few steps back screaming all the way.  I got about half way up and I just collapsed onto the arm of a pew.  A lady who worked there who was friends with my dad ran to me and calmed me down.  After she calmed me down, I went numb again, and I stayed numb for weeks.  I was this numb person going through the motions at the after dinner for his friends.  I just stayed numb for several weeks and then it seemed like the grief started just about the time everyone expected me to be over it.  I was like - wait, I need you now, it just started and you all seem to be done supporting me now.  Then for several months i was plagued with guilt for every mistake I'd ever made and for not being with him when he died.  Then, I started crying over all the bad memories such as his illness and scary trips to the hospital.  Then, the good memories started to come, and I cried over them.  Now, I'm kind in good memory mode.  Last night I was in the store and saw Neopolitan Ice Cream, and I started crying right there in the store, because my dad loves Neopolitan Ice Cream. But, it is no longer 24/7 around the clock that I feel the pain and cry at memories.  Now it comes and goes.  I actually have some normal feeling hours.  But, my point is that what you are going through is normal.  It does take time, but it does get better.  Just be patient with yourself and let it happen at you pace.  Don't let anyone else tell you what you should be feeling.  Blessings to you.

Kim, I think sometimes you just have to let the sadness come and work its way out in its own time.  There will be a long time of bad days, then a combination of good and bad days, and one day more good days than bad.  Just yesterday I was in the store and saw Neopolitan Ice Cream and started crying, but the good news is that for most of that day I was alright.  A few months ago, that would not have been the case.  There were much fewer good hours and good days a few months ago.  It does get better - I promise.  I am sorry you were sad on the day you last wrote.  It is okay to be sad.  It is a horrible feeling, but it is okay to be sad.  Don't let any one tell you when you should be over this.  Take it at your own speed.  Your body will cleanse itself of the grief on it's own timetable and sometimes I think we just have to go along for the ride.

jb - thanks for sharing the picture of your Dad.  He was a cute kid.  And, you are a good artist.  Thank you for sharing your picture.  Please share more.  You are inspiring me to draw again.  I think I will get the pencils out and try it tonight.  I have not drawn anything in a few years.  No time when I was a caregiver and no heart to do it after my parents died.  You really need to keep drawing.  You are very very talented.

thnks storyas i hopee u do start drawing again i like to wear the led out of pensils toll ther is no led left if the woz a crim on over usin pensills i wud be in jail today i saw the selecsion boxes with all the sweetsin my dad loved and i thort my dad wud love thm but his not hear any more evry choklite he liket woz in th selecsion box evry tim im seanin thm is making me feal sad it duze wen my dad went we wote him letters to put in the coffen and put fotos in and betin slips in the under taker peplel wer lovly thy dresses him lovly to -=[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[xd90ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccx and u can sea lucy has jumpet on the key pad tht must be catlangrige i dont no if any 1 else has cats tht liket to type she like to lison to mickale jackson music she purse wen shes hears his song on the radio or tv i dont no if any 1 has cats tht like music i no dogs do

Hi Jb - please tell me the story behind that picture you posted.   I know how you feel about your dad's chocolates.  I can't eat a Kit Kat today cuz my dad loved them so much.  I found a wrapper once in his stuff after he died and I put it in my box of his stuff that I was keeping to keep it.  I just could not throw it away, because I knew his beautiful hands had opened it and his mouth had enjoyed the chocolate inside.  I need to start writing letters to my mom and dad and taking them and pictures to their grave site.  They both loved pictures so much.  My dad's cat that lives here with me loves to sit on my lap even if the keyboard is there.  He's not much for music though.  I've never seen him respond to that.  He likes to sit in front of the tv though and bat at the moving things, but the sound he doesn't seem to care much about.

It's been 8 months since my father passed and some days are better than others. The last few days, I just found myself thinking about him often. Then last night I had a dream and he was sitting there across the table from me smiling, looking like he did when I was younger and he was much more healthier. We didn't say anything, we just smiled at each other. I knew he was checking up on me, letting me know he was still around even though I couldn't see him or talk to him. And while it is still hard for me every time I dream about him, it made me feel so much better that I did have that dream. I know the pain of losing him will never go away but I am glad I am learning how to deal with it better than I have been. I can actually talk about him more now and that makes me happy. I would be terribly sad trying to avoid conversations about him and/or about my feelings about him. Just thought I'd share how I was doing since it's been so long since I actually posted here. 

Casandra - when my mom died, I had a dream a few days later.  In that dream, my mom was laying on this dark blue couch we owned when we were kids.  She sat up and looked at me.  She was wearing the same dress I took her to the hospital in, but it was clean instead of having vomit all over it.  And her stomach was not swollen like it was when I took her to the hospital.  It was flat again.  She looked much younger like your dad looked much younger.  She looked at me and said, "I'm feeling much better now."  Then, she either left or I woke up.  I don't remember which.  I think they are young and healthy again on the other side.  I think that is why you saw your dad that way.  I am sorry you are having a hard time.  Eight months isn't that long really.  I was still heavily grieving at 8 months.  My dad has been gone 18 months this month, and i still am grieving.  It's better than it was at 8 months, much better actually, but I am still grieving.   Like I said in my earlier post about seeing Neopolitan ice cream at the story yesterday and started crying cuz it was my dad's favorite.  I don't know how long it takes, but it does get a little easier every month.  Blessings to you my dear.

Thank you, Storyas! 

i woz looking at fotos of 80s thngs on line and starting looking at amish peple and i liket tht 1 i did my dad wud of liket tht 1 2 he wud of its geting to me now tht thy hav all the xmas stuf in the shops coz it woz my dads tim of yer he loved xmas and his food im seaning all the selecsion boxs and tins of sweats and tins of biskits and i start fealing sad coz no dad to buy for he loved all sweats i dont no how he woz not dibetik all the sweats he at and ice cream conetos wen my mum brot thm in he wud hav 1 in the mornin 1 after dinner sum timess 1 at tea time and 1 at supper time this is 1 of my dads drawings he did for me in 1993 i allways try to keep good drawings safe i put in 1 of thm pockt thngs

jb - your dad drew that?  I didn't know he was an artist.  You must have gotten your talent from him.  It is quite a nice drawing.  He did the facial features real nice.  Did he do it for you when you were sick - was it a get well card for you?  Why does he have Sharp on the shirt?  I only ask, because Sharp is my last name since I got married.  You have a very talented family.  Your dad made a very nice picture.

i thnk it woz a sponser name on 1 of the football teams storyas i thnk i woz poly at the time my dad drew tht his did a few pitchers ill try and dig thm out again and post thm on hear 

I don't think I know what poly means.  That was really nice of your dad to draw that picture for you.  He was a good artist.  It looks like he did that in pen, and that is the hardest way to draw, in my opinion.  You can't erase.  If you make a mistake, you've some how got to make it work in the picture.

i ment pooly storyas typin erer it woz my dad used to tak em ther wen i woz a kid wen i woz abot 3 yer old i fell in ther chasing after a swan but kids do tht at tht age my dad did the same him self at the sam age my mum told me wen i woz a kid abot 6 or 7 wen we went to put flowers on my grand parents grave i saw these emty gravs a lot of thm and i asket mum shall i pick sum flowers to put on thm graves but mum told me the jews graves they dont put flowers on 

This is Dad on the MDA Ride for Life - May 2012.  Dad absolutely loved to do this ride and had been a 20 year participant.  His name was Kermit so his nickname was Frog.  My husband and I plan to buy his motorcycle and keep the vanity license plate (FROGK) on it.

I hope this photo is appropriate to post.  It was our way of honoring Dad and is so fitting for him.  I bet this made him smile.  It has a solar powered headlight too.  Love you Dad and miss you so much!

yore foto is ok debra yore dad wud luv it i woz lisning to a song to day the police singng evry breth u take and thnking of my dad my dad loved balled songs he liket a lot of elten john songs he liket this singer as well joe mckeldery coz he sings balled songs and opra songs i no my dad cud not sing but sung som strange and sily songs tht wud mak u laff i no im not lookeking foward to nxt moth coz it wud of bean my dads bday on boxing day he wud of bean 77 ths yer he all wayz lovd xmas and boxing day so he cud hav a few hous out before he wud hav to go on th nebulizers or oxgin mashn i no som tims me mum dad and the rest of th family sum tims had bad hang overs on 27th dec but it woz worth it i no drink is bad for u but for bdays its ok i thnk

Hi jb,

Thanks for the reply.  I'm glad you feel the photo is ok.  Yes, songs can bring back a lot of memories or just the words can make me miss my Dad more.  My Dad had an 8 track called Forty Funky Hits and it had some crazy songs on it.  My Dad really enjoyed listening to it.  I might try to find the cd so I can play it in the car.

My thoughts are with you as your Dad's birthday draws near.

i hear a lot of songs dera and u start thnk abot yore dad or other loved 1s we lost but balled and opra songs my dad loved or any thng good on the radio or sport on the radio 

sory abot tht debra a typing era on my part did not mean to get yoe name wong 

No problem, with my name spelling.  Yes, so many things bring memories.  My husband and I went to a mudd bog on saturday and we thought of my Dad a lot that day.  2 yrs ago we had taken him with us to the event.  Yesterday I went to see my Dad and I feel like I did when he passed.  I could barely talk to him.  I just want another hug from him.  My heart is hurting again, still.  Here is the poem I wrote for Dad from us children:

Dad we will miss you and already do.

But all of our memories will help get us thru.

As our angel from above you will shower us with love.

To help wash away the sorrow for a better tomorrow.