So, I am reaching out to anyone who has lost a spouse or life partner.  I lost my husband of 25 years in September, 2010.  It took awhile for me to start grieving.  I was so busy staying strong, making all the medical decisions, comforting my children and family and taking care of everything in my regular life, that I don't think I let myself grieve.  Of course, I cried.  Mostly, by myself, and almost never in front of my family and NEVER in front of my husband.  Now that I am 4 months into the loss, I have found the need to talk to others who are going, or have gone though, the same thoughts and feelings.

Hi Amy, my name is LInda and i feel like i'm reading my own page! Except i just turned 56 without my Babe. Right now I'm at my mom's in Okla. for another week. This was a hard trip for me cause my husband would call all the time to make sure i was safe. He left me Sept 30, and our 25th was sept 14.

I lost my husband almost a year ago and my stilborn infant son two years ago. I feel that anyone is too young to be a widow. Because I am on the younger side I have all these well meaning people trying to fix me up with their brothers, cousins, whatever every other weekend daddy is out there. When I lost Mike, I lost my future and the hope of a family. At this point I do not want someone else...or their kids. I want Mike back...and our child.

Welcome ladies.  I hope that we can help each other.  Just knowing that someone else is going through the same thing and that you are not alone makes coping easier sometimes.  The loneliness can be overwhelming.  Sometimes it sneaks up on you when you least expect it.  At night, in the car, when you are alone, in for a few minutes.  Please know that it is ok to cry.  Crying is good.  You have to let it out.  Hopefully this site will help you let out whatever you can.  You are not alone, even when you feel you are.

Hello everyone. Just wanted to quickly share my story. I lost my husband, Matt, on September 27th, 2010. He was 26 years old and died in his sleep from sudden cardiac arrest. So here I am, 32 years old, a single mom again, living with my parents, and trying to figure out what life holds for me now.

I lost my husband on Jan. 26, 2011 do to an accidental overdose. He was 30 and me 25. I am now a single mom and have moved into my parents house trying to figure out my next step. Before I can do anything I have to get myself back to life.

Welcome Natasha and Brittany.  I am so sorry for your losses.  I am glad that you found the page and hope that you feel some comfort in knowing that we can relate to what you are going through.  You are not alone.  Please use this page to ask questions, tell stories or vent your frustration when you feel the need.  We are all here to support each other.

Just a quick hello and to shar my loss.  I lost my husband to cancer on 10-22-09.  I spent most of the first year in a fog and thought I had finally hit the path to healing. Then my 17 yr old daughter finally had grief hit her full force, she was only 15 when her dad passed away and she faught off the grief for so long.  Now that she is finally grieving it has brought a lot back for me and seems as though my grief is starting all over again.  I was 38 when he died and he was only 53.  We had 20 wonderful years together, just wish we could have had many more.  I am the youngest in a local widow group I attend and most are further out then I am, except one, whom just lost her husband this past October.  they are all over 55 though and atleast one has teenage children like me, roughly the same ages.  They do help a lot and it is nice to know your not alone out there and it does help that others know where your coming from and don't try to divert the conversation or avoid contact all together for they may have to deal with a grieving widow.  I

Hi everyone i'm so glad i found this site it's really been helping, i'm pretty much trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life and where i go from here, ive learned ill never know why and im ok with that because one day hopfully ill see him again until then i want to do all i can to help with whatever.

my husband tods passed march 5th 2011, someone through the widow at me first the first time this past weekend, and my stomach dropped out.  Im 47, what do I do without him, and how do I face being alone.  people ask me questions that i just can't wrap my head around, about rings, and dating and expectations...my only expectation is to get up and go through the motions of living,,,anything else hssn't been considered

 

Barb...you are not alone in hearing the hurtful things. I tell people I don't need a man. I did quite well on my own before I met Mike, and can continue to do so now. The only bad part is knowing there will not be children. We lost a baby before Mike was diagnosed. So, I get to be an old maid someday. I also hate the "single" term and try to avoid it. I am married...and there was nothing in our vows that would indicate the contract has expired.

I

agree with Trisha.  Feel free to tell people that you have no intention of looking for a man anytime soon.  You don't need to be set up with any of their friends, coworkers, neighbors, or cousins.  I also think that people say things without thinking.  This should not excuse their behavior but makes it easier to deal with the stupid comments when I am playing back, over and over, in my mind.  I work in the same field that my husband worked in for over 30 years.  I run into people all the time that knew my husband and tell me that someday I will find someone else.  At first, I didn't know what to say.  Now, having dealt with this for 7 months, I say something like, "Who says I want someone else?" or "What make you think I will ever be looking?"  Most people are taken aback by these comments.  Most get the point.  I am hoping that over time you are able to stand up to the well intentioned stupid people.  Take your time.  Please post when you feel that you need to, as we are all here to help you.  I felt worse 4 months after than I did 2 months after.  Take care of yourself and your daughter.  Do things at your own pace.  You don't owe an explanation to anyone.  Ever. 

I became a widow to cancer on 2/28/11 and am 53 years old....I desperately want to chat with other women in my situation but am not having much luck finding them.  If you can, please connect with me so we can share our experiences.  Thank you.....

I see we are all having the same issues, thought my so called friends were insane. Our spouses died, we didn't divorce or choose to leave. My heart doesn't want someone else.

Hello ladies My name is Stephanie I lost my husband three weeks ago and I don't want to go on.  I am so angry and sad.  He died suddenly of cardiac arrest and I miss him like I miss breathing.  I don't know what to do.  I am 40 years old and a widow...what the hell???  Everyone stumbles around me trying to say the right thing all I can do to avoid screaming is change the subject or continue in my self preserving fog.  I scream at GOD, I scream at my husband to come and take me...I just don't understand!!!!!!

Stephanie, I am so sorry that you are now a member of a club that you would never ask to join.  Your pain is so raw right now.  Please take each day at a time and know that you are important.  You need to take care of yourself.  Seek out someone who you can take talk to and will listen.  The feelings of not wanting to go on and wanting to be with your husband are normal but you need to realize that you need to be here.  There is a plan for you in your new life and your new reality. (Next you will say,"I don't want a new life, I want my old one".)  We have all been where you are now.  Please find someone that you can talk to and if you need us know that all you have to do is reach out and we will be here for you.