Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that I am going to have to experience and live through. There is going to be pain in life. Losing my mom, one of her dogs, and knowing that the day is coming for this little bundle of fur is sickening intense pain. I still love God. I still pray every day, but I realize that this is something that have to experience. That is one of the hard things about grief. When we lose the person we love the most we hope for help. It didn't come from my family and friends, so I leaned on God. I don't have to tell anyone that it can be frightening and disheartening to pray and not find relief, but we keep praying and hoping. We keep taking baby steps. Not another day is promised to us. It will be over some day, but I am always looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. Always hoping that I will be happy again. It's when we stop hoping and trying that it becomes too late. Keep going. Keep taking baby steps.

Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable.  I say to myself how am I going to handle this time in my life without my mom.  I am a nervous wreck, but I am trying to lean on my faith in God, always.

it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?

Yes it’s almost five and I’m still so very sad 

I am feeling like I can't catch my breath, the sadness and tear flow the last 72 hours seems like I am entering a tunnel I can't find my way out of, I'm drowning.  I can't sleep without waking in a puddle of sweat and tears.  I miss everything about my mom!  It feels so lonely when she was the only person I would talk to several times a day, feels like she was the only person who loved me and now I have nothing.  Sadness, tears and an emptiness with no light is so scary.  What are the baby steps for this? How does someone pull through?

Day by day. Minute by minute. Find something, anything that makes you happy and focus on it. For me it's my dog. When she is gone I will focus on something else. It could be anything.

If that doesn't work, do it for your mom. Carry on for her.

Brett you said it perfectly and you actually helped me also God bless you and your little dog and everyone of us here it’s always nice to know that we still keep in touch after almost 5 years

Re baby steps, one thing that has helped me is doing things that we did together, or learning to do things that she did.  It might sound sad or even heartbreaking, to do those things alone, and if it feels that way it’s not the right thing for you, at least not now, but it has been a good experience for me.  Part of it is honouring the history of your relationship with someone you loved and love, remembering beautiful, ordinary moments shared.  

Thanks M Adams.  I like that idea, my mom's thing was traveling, she loved it and we always went to Mexico together, I am just scared to go, I am fearful because she won't be with me, I think it will be too sad, but everything is so sad.  Thanks Brett for finding something that makes me happy, that's a hard question for me.  Good things to think about.  Appreciate the kindness and ideas. 

Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch.

That's what I have done for the best four and a half years. Just make it from here to the couch, but I am growing. I have grown since my mom went away. And, maybe, just maybe, we will all be okay, if we just keep plugging. Life's not so bad. Life gave us our moms. They're gone now, but maybe there are more blessings ahead if we just don't give up.

Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including relatives, promoted going on a cruise — it seemed such a bizarre and horrifying idea to me at that time.  Even now, more than three years later, it would be hard for me to contemplate doing something like that.  People are so different in what feels right to them, and when.

Hi All 

How is the grief during this pandemic all over the world. I remember my mom daily as life has come to halt. 

Hi Avi...and everyone. Just like your mum, it has been two years since my mum left this world. I function better but do not feel better. Working from home, makes it even harder as I am constantly reminded of my mum. Grief, depression and stress have left their marks on the body - internally and externally. Rashes all over my body, lost of body mass(even though I eat well). Have not accepted my mum's death(evident from my daily crying). She was all I had. Now I am totally broken! I just don't want to continue experiencing life. Same old same old...The only good thing is she comes in my dreams...pleasant dreams. I see her alive there. Take care everyone. 

SelV, some of the things that you described are frightening. I have a very similar feeling about life. My precious little dog died a couple of weeks ago. She was my mom's dog as well, and she was the best thing I had going for me. Her unconditional love through my mom's illness, and especially after, was the greatest blessing that I had received since my mom died. I have dreaded her death ever since my mom's death. I always felt like, "Please dont take her, too. She's all I  have." I love, love, lover her, and I really miss her.

People talk about wanting to live to be 100. I can't imagine. At least, there is nothing left that I love that will die. I just wish, hope, and pray that God will lead me to a happy, secure place. I have wanted that since my mom died.

The news of passing of your dog is sad Brett because last 2 years your dog has been in our discussion and I feel connected to her. 

I can understand that having a motivation to live is very imp. Currently my 1.5 years daughter is my motivation to live. She has started talking a lot and I forget grief when I am with her. When alone, grief again takes over. 

Awww...Brett! Heartfelt condolences to you. Life never gets any better, does it? When you keep 'losing' living beings very close to us one after another...we question the existence of our life, don't we? I do.

I hope you can channel whatever energy you are left with and when you are ready  to whatever causes close to your heart soon...as no one can replace our mothers and/or our pets.

I am not worried about myself...rashes can disappear...just need to buy the right medicated soap...ha! I can gain body mass if I stop grieving...is it possible? 

One day, we will all die. We are actually dying everyday...getting closer and closer. I always content...10 months in my mother's womb-safe, sound and healthy...probably happy too.  How many more years in Mother's Earth womb-unsafe, going crazy with Covid-19 and what nought, soon to be inflicted with age old illness? When will our last breath becomes air? I am waiting...for Mother Earth to deliver me from her womb...happiness and peace!

Avi...take heart for having your daughter.

I just remember, when my mom was sick but not yet dying, we would be sitting in our sun room, talking or watching TV. Our two little dogs would be there wagging their little tails. I started to realize that I would see all three of them die. But then I would say, "not today." That day did come though, three times. I don't have anything left that will die. 

I really miss being loved. And I miss having family. To me, my dogs were family. All I can do is pray that God is aware, and that he will help me through this.

Oatmeal!! Sorry that Krissy passed...I know you loved that dog. I hope you finally found a job you can stand. I know things will come together for you as long as you keep hitting the gym.....oh I can get it back lol

I did. I am the Wellness Coordinator there. I still miss my dog though, and, of course, my mom. Sunday wasn't just Mother's Day. It was also my mom's birthday.

Mother's day was horrible for me. Everybody was wishing their mothers on social media and I cannot even talk to her. 

Avi, yes. People were posting pictures of their mothers, or they would post a picture with their mom, celebrating the day. It was also my mom's birthday. There is really nothing we can do but miss them. It's sad that a day that used to be the cause of happiness is now a day of pain. Christmas, too.

Motherless Day...

Pain. Sadness.

Everyday!

Jayne, if there is an advantage to this, maybe we are fortunate that we can get it over with in one day. I wouldn't necessarily call that a good thing, but I really dread any landmark dates concerning my mom.

Seems different for me — on my mother’s birthday, and on Mother’s Day, I do something to celebrate how beautiful and wonderful she was, last year with special meals and toasts to her memory as well as doing certain things, cooking her recipes and starting plants as she did, this year some similarities though with social distancing the outward aspect was mostly through writing and e-cards.  I find that I want to remind people — especially those who benefitted so greatly and took so much from her — of her value and uniqueness, and not let her existence just be erased. There are tears on those days but not necessarily more sadness or greater sense of loss than on some other days.

You have a wonderful, healthy attitude. I can only speak for myself, but I think my sadness comes from lost time on so many levels.

Don’t think my remaining family, or most of my acquaintances would agree that my approach is healthy, or even acceptable, but it feels right to me.  I find that in some ways I’m getting less responsive to what people want of me, which has good and bad aspects.  Also able to cry a bit more — at first with the loss of my husband, and again with my mother, I couldn’t stop crying, found that terrible, then I mastered what I think of as the “clamp technique” which worked really well, but eventually too well.  Now I find that tears come again from time to time, at moments of memory, sometimes hokey t.v. stuff, or seeing something beautiful in the world that we experienced together, moments that evoke the sense of loss, etc.

Thinking about you Brett with the loss of your dear little dog, really sorry for your loss of that sweet companion (our lovely cat Spooky died suddenly a couple of months before my husband’s sudden death, so I know what it’s like to lose the special compassion that a beloved animal gives...kept walking around the place seeing a dark shape out of the corner of my eye and momentarily feeling ‘Spooky’s there!’ then realizing the truth all over again.) 

Hi everyone. I lost my mom to cancer May 2020. She fought the battle for 20 months.  She was my best friend. Unfortunately, I am UN-HAPPY marriage. We got married late in life. I'm 42, and he's almost 44. We have two children together (ages 4 and 6). I'm miserable and tired, and I see no change. I'm starting to prepare myself mentally and physically for divorce.  Has anyone experienced the loss of a mom while being in an UNHAPPY marriage. 

Shayla, first let me say that I am so sorry about your mom. My mom was my best friend, too. I have never been married before, but I know that when we lose our moms, we may also lose our greatest fountain of unconditional love, and that can expose other relationships that we have. I know in my case, I became so accustomed to how much she loved me that I really didn't realize how my other relationships stacked up. I was getting all that I needed to feel loved and secure. I learned quickly what I had lost. It hurt very badly. So badly that I really didn't want to live. I didn't want to harm myself. I just wished that God would take me. And it has taken a long time to find my way back. I'm still not there yet, but I learned to eliminate toxic relationships. That has been a great help. You are grieving your mom. Only you know if that is clouding your judgement. To be honest, I am guessing that it is not, and that you are more aware now where you stand with your husband. Please know that you are supported here, and that I will help you every step of the way. I may not know you, but I know that your mom would have wanted you to be happy. The best way to honor her would be to try to make that happen. God Bless You my friend. 

Hi Shayla. 

Sorry to hear about your mom. Cancer is the biggest curse on mankind. I lost my mom to Cancer in May 2018. 

Please feel free to put here whatever you want. 

Regarding the relationship, I also suffered some issues with my marital relationship when my mother died but it was because nobody will understand the grief you are going through. So please think twice to move ahead with Divorce, it may be temporary thing. 

I lost my mom on July 2nd. She was the most amazing woman in the world. She had me at 15 was divorced with 2 kids by 16 and yet was always there for me. She married my dad who had 2 daughters and my brother died at 30 so they adopted his 2 sons.  She made sure we were a family, no steps, 1/2's just brothers and sisters. I'm the only one out of state.  I have taken it the hardest and the rest of the family thinks I'm crazy. Mom got upset when we all married and started having kids cos she couldn't get her family to sit down together for any holiday. My mom created Thanksmus!  Every holiday you could go wherever you wanted but the day after Thanksgiving every grandkid would go to "Nana's", put up the Christmas tree, Santa would make a special "nana run" and everyone would HAVE to be there and we celebrated Christmas all together, It became everyone's favorite holiday. We were a family. This year its very important to me we have this holiday. But with covid my children are not happy about me going because there are 2 nurses, 2 in retail and kids going to school and my family won't wear masks. I wouldn't let mom go if she were alive. What do I do? I am the only one out of state. I am so torn because I love my family so much and I can see it fragmenting and I've lost the most important person in my life who gave everything for me. I can't let the rest of the family fall apart. Crying isn't helping and I can't seem to get it together.

Sherri. I lost my mom on Christmas Eve, 2015. Thanksgiving and Christmas will never be the same for me. It probably will not be the same for either of us. It can't be.

Honestly, as much as you want to honor your mom, please be careful. Covid is deadly and it terrifies me to be around folks who will not wear a mask.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please call on me if I can ever help you or give you advice. Believe me, all of us here know what it is like to lose the best person in the world (to us).

God Bless You.  

im not new on hear but im new to mom forims now loss my mom ths morniingg i did i juts hop she nose i lov her very mushh

its bean 3 dayss i feal so num iv loss mom i still cnt cry for her but wen my cat lucy died i cryd so mushh wen she died

but my sweet lovin mom i wishh i cud

we tryn 2 sort funrell songss for mom in 2 wks 

i no im gona miss her so mush

Hi dream moon JO B

Sorry for your loss. It is tough. Take your time to heal

thnx i no it min i feal so raw num i do

nevr thrt i be on loss of mom i no shess not suffin bit in sid i fealll so num emtyy in sid i z lk ths on my dad

miss mom mom so mush i do so num i am

I can understand your emotions. I have felt this and even feel this lot of times 

Hi Avi and everyone.

Hi Brett, how are you and how life during covid times. 

miss mom still num sinse 5/4/21 now mom gon  did i do anyy thng bad for her to go i no it wz her ti, 2 go 

iv no 1 famlys got onw livs 

https://youtu.be/NZVUuq0Birc

miss mom songg remdss me of her coz she wz a angl

I am new to this group. I lost my mom almost 3 years ago suddenly. I was living in another state and the guilt of not being with her to take care of her/help her is still with me to this day. Hoping to make a few friends on here and offer support to you all as well. 

im dredin xmas herts not in it no mom los her on 5/4/21 iv mist so mush presrswss tim coz of cov 19 i hav 

lozzin anor closs famly mebr in oct my uncl i losss 

bean 8 moths sinse u begon sinsee 5/4/21 i kisst her gudby on forged in funrell hom 

i miss her so muhss its its its is lik iv had my heartt brokn in 100/100 bitss 

miss u mom

miss mom beging to relize soon i will  got no 1 no bf or hubby i just need my mom i s o do