I am very sorry for your loss Maddie. Its been one year since my mother passed and I am still completely broken. I miss her only even more.

I understand what you're going through Maddie. I'm 32, no kids, not married, not close to my family, and I'm an only child. My mother and I use to call each other several times a week. Now, my phone barely rings. She was my mother, father, and my best friend. I wish I would of told her I loved you more. I showed her I loved her, but I rarely said it.

Happy Late Valentine's Day Mom, I miss you, love you and miss the wonderful cards you sent me.

I am with you Andre Clark.  I did some of the same and the thing is that we did not do enough.

Andre - I feel very similar. my mom was on a lot of medication that the doctor was constantly prescribing. I don't understand how a doctor can watch someone's health worsen with every prescription they write and keep doing it. My mom took what they gave her in hopes of getting better no longer being in pain. But she was overly medicated. My mom, my family..we trusted that the doctors had my mothers best interest at heart. we don't know the actual cause of my mothers death other than cardiac arrest. She also had a blood clot in her leg from fallin the week before. It soooo hard to accept she is gone. I wish more than anything could go back and prevent it and save it. Take her medicine... make the doctor acknowledge her clot more. she went to see them and they sent her home. I hate her doctor, I hate that I couldn't save her. I just want my mom back. Something so little and preventable took my mother forever.

Gnome- you are right, there is no love like a mothers love. I lost my mom my best friend at times worst enemy lol my protector my biggest fan my angel. I'll never be whole again without her. She was an amazing woman and Im proud to say I become more and more like her every day.  I am very sorry for your loss. I know its easy to get consumed with the regrets and what ifs but there was no way to predict what would happen or how we would feel. they know we love them.

Libby - I am very sorry for your loss. Its still so fresh and crying and feeling like your going nuts is OK. Let yourself go through the motions. I too felt alone, still do. I would get angry that my sisters and brothers don't call me more or reach out to me because even if they are ok, I wasn't. Im NOT. Everyone deals with it differently. My dad trys to find things to keep him busy. Finishing projects he promised her. I think you dad may be trying to stay strong for you. Just continue to be there for each other. Its so hard to accept that this is our new reality, without them. I don't want it. I would sacrifice anything to have her back

Maddie- so sorry for your loss. I know those words don't compare to the magnitude of what you are feeling. Its a pain, a loss unimaginable and what seems like unbearable. Im sorry you feel alone and hope you find some comfort in this site. I think a part of us will always feel alone, pieces of us are missing. No one truly understood me the way my mom did.  

Crystal- Your story is the mirror image of mine. My mom died 4 months ago after having early onset alzheimers for only 3 years.  Her Dr. at the assisted living she was at kept giving her harmful drugs.  She kept taking them in hopes of getting better or feeling better mentally. One day she freaked out...they kicked her out and put her in a nursing home.  She declined in a month, got a blood clot, went into cardiac arrest and died 3 minutes later from a pulmonary embolism.  I feel like dying every day.  It takes every ounce of strength in me to continue living or to not burn the place down that treated my mother this way.  I will never know for sure what happened to my Mom.  Only God knows. And for that I am miserable and in my own hell daily. She was 65. She was full of life.  She was my light.  Now it feels like I'm in the dark every second. 

Last week was 2 yrs since I lost my Mom & best friend.  It isn't getting easier - I find it getting harder.  I know the feeling you have of wanting to be with her.  I feel the same way.  I know the hurt will be with me always.  I don't see how anyone gets over someone they loved so much.

I feel for you all, its been one year for me. I miss my mother even more. No kids or husband either. She was only 56. I am so tired of life but i keep breathing.

Mom passed on January 2013. I can relate to many of you who posted before. I am not very close with the rest of the family, and I'm not married or have kids. So the loss of the most important person in my life changed everything.

I still feel sometimes that I'm living in another dimension, it's bizarre that my mom is not around, even after two years have gone by. I'd love to talk to her one last time, see her face again.

Its been 18 months and I am breathing but its a grind.  I just came back to my parents house and while there is pain, the personal items and all are a source of comfort and sometimes feel that its all still there and yet i cried a lot in the first week.  As it comes closer to two years, its really as hard as ever but I try to call people who know my parents well.  Its very bizarre and like living in a zone as Melisa said below and I am trying to connect with those who are not married or have kids as it seems to be easier for those who do e.g. my sisters.

Melisa C and Danny, yes how weird and disorienting it is that we cant ever see our mother again at least in this lifetime. I think we can't truly grasp the enormity of that loss but we are experiencing the loss everyday, till when? I believe, i will be through my grief when i am through with life. The Queens sang "The show must go on", but right now i feel like just leaving the theater altogether, but i paid the price to enter and i am just sticking around till its over, but I dont really care too much about the ending, you guys know what I mean? Because the character I really cared about has been killed off by the director apparently.

its my mom's birthday coming up, its a hard day for me, but i will be ok, im at peace....she has been gone 4 years....died of cancer....i wish she was still here.....love to you all

its my mom's birthday today, she would have been 84 today, im celebrating for her, she loved her birthday, mom i love you and i know your at peace....god bless

I am trying to keep my attention on caring for my father. My mother was the only woman he ever loved, 47 years together and now she is gone. One of the last things my mother said to me was to take care of him. But I am so far into my own pit of grief it's hard to get out of bed, let alone function enough to pay attention to my father's eating habits, make sure he keeps his doc appointments, and gets some exercise daily. I am trying but I feel like I'm failing her all over again.

Found this today - Your Mother is always with you. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself. She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well, she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your mother lives inside your laughter. She’s the place you came from, your first home, and she’s the map you follow with every step you take. She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you.Not time, not space, not even death.

Mom, I love you and miss you so much. I so want to talk to you.

Indeed Tans its a great comment and I am trying to look at it this way as well. She is right there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ft1rYcht0c      I 've been listening to this video alot, from Eckhart tolle. Beautiful and sad.

Miss you so much Ma.

im having a really hard time, i cant stop thinking about my mom, i know i need therapy, for some reason lately she has been on my mind alot, I just miss the phone calls every day, her being my best friend, just everything....I know lots of you feel the same....how do you get thru it?  I just miss her so darn much

I cannot believe my

I cannot believe my beautiful mom passed away 2 yrs. ago from Pancreatic Cancer. It has been a devastating time. The pain never goes away. I love her still the same as always.

Yes Jayne the pain never really goes away and nor does the love.  We need to learn how to live with it but for now breathe slowly in and out

I cried a lot today and really just remembering our conversations and all God its killing me..i know its never going to really go away but today it just stopped me from doing everything and everything.

Amy: The pain goes away and then comes back and yes dont worry about it intensifying especially since its very early just a year. The second year, especially initially can be a killer.  I don't have many answers but can only relate to what you are experiencing; as Karen said it never really goes away. Its about living with the grief.

I can confirm that the beginning of the second year can be very tough because you actually lose the connect of the previous year.  Especially the first 4 months of the second year were tough for me.  I'm finding it hard to make decisions as well but again, I postponed as much as I could.

Just take your own time though to do what you can. No rush.

Almost two years Amy and it was so sudden that I still somehow know what has happened but refused to really accept it. Sudden is a killer for the survivor(s).  The first year was a daze.

Indeed, I'm going to get a card tomorrow as well.  Write in it as well.

Its the same for many of us Nancy. We know it but acceptance takes months or years depending on many factors.  I dont even know if it does ever happen except the rational mind knows.  Take care.

About 3 weeks ago my mother committed suicide. :/ It pains me that tomorrow is mothers day. I miss her so much. 

Well, for me it has been a little over 2 years since my mother left me here alone to deal with everything. I am doing the best that I can to get everything done. No help from anyone in my family. Of course, nothing new there.

We were best friends and I was her care taker for a few months before she passed. She was well aware of everything going on. I feel so alone. Mothers day I just hide out. I have no children by choice. I do not regret that choice. The offspring of the others did not even come close to being anything close to my mother. I am now officially on my own.

I feel really bad for all of you that are new to this horrible group. I have to say that it has helped me along the way knowing that I am not alone in this journey. Always remember the good times with your mother. You are not alone. We are here to help when we can.  I am going to stay in bed and watch movies all day tomorrow. Happy movies. I just cannot go out and see everyone with their mothers anymore.