Casey, I'm 52 and I certainly know how you feel! I feel like I've lost ME!

Ya, a part of us is gone in a sense.  Yes what Casey mentioned about an adult child is very true and many of us feel orphaned at midlife or as a young adult like at 30.  That is what it is, they don't think it is as sad.  Yes losing a child is (perhaps) more devastating in their eyes but for us our anchor is the parent and many of us live well only with that anchor.  So its a devastating thing for us which few seem to support for a long time.

Casey, what you are doing with the memoirs - is a good thing. I have gonna back to therapy and that is the first thing she asked me to do. she said that it would be difficult and that there would be a lot of tears but I would be writing about my best friend and how I saw her in my eyes. It's for no one else really but for you. I think that it's a brave step that you are doing. My mom has passed nearly four years and it gets a little easier sometimes, but there are days when the only thing that would make life good is mom, and those are the hardest. People don't know how to react to a person who has lost a parent - it's only when they go through it do they realise the enormity of the loss. People think that it's something we just get over and it's not especially depending on your relationship with your mom. Yes there are days where we don't want to get up and wish the world would just stop - just know that mom wouldn't want to see you like that and slowly get up and do something small, if you work try and focus on that while you are there - yes easier said than done - but baby steps guys. Hugs to all.

It's so hard to even work-the whole purpose is so unclear now.  Tan's suggestions and her approach are good.

I just sat here all weekend wondering what's the point in doing anything. I have no focus now. Just going through the motions of living.

Same here.  The whole point of doing anything is just not making sense except that doing it for oneself is also doing it for the parents as thats what they wanted us to continue doing.  Very tough to focus tiger.  I would say if we go through the motions for now it is not a bad thing to achieve.

Terrible, awful, horrible day! How do people go on???? I can't do it anymore! But I will because my Mama would want me to.

It's been about a year and a half since my Mom passed.  Not sure where the time went; it's just scary.  While the open wound of loss has subsided some, it doesn't go away completely.  I still miss my Mom every day. It sucks.  But, you do pick up and live your life as best you can.  Moms wouldn't want us to give up, I am certain.

I miss every day.  It is just so hard.  Physical symptoms have subsided but for me I am only waking up now.

Another weekend begins. My heart hurts so much I can't stand it. I miss her so much.......will it ever get better????

Sundays are tough.  Just trying not to be alone.

All I want to say is, I miss my f**king mom. And I have to force myself everyday to keep living because she wouldn't want me to die.

just lost the most important person in my life, the only person who has ever and ever will love me unconditionally..I lost my mom this past Tuesday July 22. I feel like part of me died with her..Over the past few days, i've caught myself reaching for my phone to call her when I got home and then that twinge in my heart reminds me she's gone.

    I dont know what life holds for me now..I dont really have any friends to go out with, or relatives to support me..Its just me and my aging dog, and I expect she will be leaving me too soon.

Ron, I know exactly how you feel. The pain is so fresh. Just know our Mom' s would want us to go on. It's difficult to go on. I'm here if you need a friend. So sorry for your loss.

Ron take care of yourself.  Here for you.

Ron, I am truly sorry for your loss. Nobody can ever replace our moms. She will live on in your heart and mind always. It is a real hard & devastating thing to go through. I am forever changed. I pray for you to find peace. Losing my parents has been the most painful experience of my life. Message me if you need to talk.

well my funeral leave is over, and getting ready to go back to work tonight..I really havent grieved yet, but now adding work back into the mix, i'm feeling it now..How mom would give me an 8pm wakeup call every night and knowing tonight at 8pm, there will be no ring..I've caught myself 3 times so far today thinking about giving mom a call, and then it hits me..I dont know if i'm ready to return to work dealing with customers and trying to be smiling and friendly when i'm tearing apart on the inside, but I dont have a choice because I have to earn money to support myself and pay my bills..,I may have to excuse myself and take little breaks to pull myself together...Its going to be a rough night, but I have a lot of rough nights to look forward to after tonight.

Jason Gray's new song expresses just how I feel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ullv_XN2d8M

Ron, my mom has been gone for nearly a year (Aug 24th) will be the 1 year mark. And my dad has been gone for nearly two years (Aug 17th). I still find myself wanting to call my mom especially. I still call her phone number and i try and hang up before I hear the disconnect sound. We were so close, and it is still very painful. I work fulltime also, and was given two weeks off w/o pay. I tried to return, but had a hard time, and I ended up being out for over a month. So, I know exactly how you feel. All you can do is take things one hour at a time. I know she'd want me to be strong and go on. And I know your mom wants the same for you. It takes time though.... 

Indeed it is a long road.

Hello Friends,

I have not been on here in awhile. My Mom passed 3 years ago June.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing the pain that you are.

It really never leaves you, you do learn to live with it. You will.

My husband of 20 years left me for a younger woman right before Mom got throat cancer. I lost my business, my house... everything.

I will tell you my heart is different now. Kind of difficult to explain.

My advice is to be the best person YOU can be from this moment forward ro prepare your soul for what comes after this world. Take your pain and be humble, be kind, give what you don't need to someone who does. Make your Mom smile. It is that simple. You and I are living on borrowed time to. Pain is meant to be felt .... it is meant to change you. I myself have cried more than I have laughed. But I can still laugh. Honor your Mom. Let her go and be happy. She deserves your blessing and she needs it. I am here for anyone who needs someone. You are not alone.

Great Sue thanks for writing.  It is really great to hear the path of people who are a bit further along and have a lot to offer as to how it is say 3 years ago or so.  I am finding it useful to read and chat with them as well. 

I think I need to get myself some professional help with my grief..I have had clinical depression for years as it is, but I have always had a purpose...I helped my mom take care of my dad until he passed away in 1995. then my girlfriend and I helped take care of my grand father until he passed in 2002..Then I moved in with grandma to take care of her and my girlfriend would come over to watch her while I was at work until grandma passed in 2006..Then I took care of my girlfriend who had numerous health issues until she passed away in 2008 after 11 years together, then I had 3 cousins and one cousins husband pass away in between, and then I spent the last 12 years taking care of mom up until her death 2 weeks ago.    Now I woke up today totally depressed thinking what is my purpose now? I'm about out of relatives, and I went for a drive thinking about driving my van into a wall at 90mph..I have had thoughts of hurting myself for some time, but now its going to intensify..I'm pretty much a loner, have no personal friends, basically I go through the motions of going to work, and coming home and sleep..I think its about time I get some professional help, or i'll burn out and die early myself.

Ron, you have gone through an incredible amount of loss in your life. After my dad and mom passed I went briefly to a grief counselor. Just talking about it helped me. So, I think it's a great idea for you to seek professional help. Sometimes the pain can be hard to bear. We are all hear to talk with you and help you through. Because we know all to well about loss. I am praying for you to find the help you need. You have taken care of everyone, now it's time for you to grieve and eventually begin the healing process.  You will get through this. I don't think we ever get over losing our mom's. They are with us in our hearts forever. But I know you will get through it...

I lost my mother on June 25th 2014, We removed her life support, And I held her hand, as she struggled to breathe, She opened her eyes for the first time in a week, and tried to talk, we could see the letter n form, she said it a few times, and we watched as her life slipped away, I have a horrible quilt inside me, that I can't get through. I break down everyday, I can't imagine it ever getting easier. I feel so empty. I took a clipping of her hair, and I have that part of her with me, with so many memories of dinners and get together s , And yes we had many arguments through the years , The one thing I wish we had, was we were not a hugging family, I wished I could hold and hug her so hard, and I hope she knows I loved her so much. with out differences, Today I wished I could just lay down and sleep forever, Antidepressants do not take the pain, and the sadness from my heart. I have no energy to do anything. I just think, and hope there is an after life! Because I have no faith that there is. And my mother is just laying in the darkness of the vault that is closed around her body.   Will I ever see her again, besides in my dreams and in pictures

I lost my Mother on March 10, 2013. In my arms. It has changed me dramatically. I really have no idea how to take a step forward. 

MY mom passed away about a year and a half ago I had a break down last Thursday I woke up and just could not quit crying. I think I tried to fool myself and for a long time saying that I was ok even when I wasn't. I realized it ok to be sad sometimes and cry you cant keep it in and don't always have to be strong

My mother passed away  about 7 months ago coming this Tuesday. It feels like just yesterday when she passed way in some ways.The stabbing pain is just as deep when I think about my sweet 56 year old young mother and how she cannot continue her life while I can keep on living.I do not want to cry all day but I cry everyday.  Our husband, wive or boy/girlf friend will never understand our sense of fear and sadness and loss. Nothing can  fill up the overwhelming snse of loss we experience.  All we can do is try to breath each breath one at a time.

It is tough Casey and Chris so just hang in there day to day..

My mother, Ann, died of cancer on March 18th 2011.  It hasn't been any easier to live my days without her.  I feel like I am just marking the days until I can join her.

Ya it never really is going to leave me but I am going to try and see if I can live with it. 

On the 3rd of October, my mom will have passed away 4 years. I still have bad days, but I also have good days where I can function "normally". There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. i know that she is with me and one day i will see her again. All I can say is talk as much as you can about her and never ever let anyone stop you. If you want to cry then cry.

Great Tans.  The only thing i can add is that i also talk aloud to her as part of my continuing bond when i need to. It is good to hear from people 3-4 years into this. 

Just read your story Madeleine and it is amazing how you have managed to stay alive and strong..you obviously have done really well.  But i realize that this cycle of good and bad days when one feels empty is going to go on perhaps forever.

I realize there will always be this huge sense of loss that nothing and no one can ever fill up that sense of emptiness. I am triggered by so many little things, Danny is right, its never over.

Today was so tough for me.  I feel drained.

Talking to a counselor does help, Danny..I dreamed about mother today. I was so happy, "mom you are back you are back, how is it possible, i asked?" and she said "I like to know as well."

I am talking to a counselor online now Casey and she's given me tips on and off.  Thats what I need right now just someone to talk a bit here and there while I do my thing. Yes dreams do come in so that is good.

glad to hear it but dreams are just dreams.

My mom's been gone for a year, and my dad two years. I tried counseling, and I think it helped somewhat. As all of you know our pain is so very real. Birthday's holiday's, constant reminders of our dear loved ones make it double hard. We all have our good and bad days. There is no one like mom--period. Our mother's cannot be replaced. Hugs to you all!!

I completely lost my $#%! on the way home from work tonight. I called a couple friends just to chat. When no one answered, I realized when mom was alive I would call her on my way home just to check in. I freaking miss her. Cried. Big tears. Death is a heartless jerk.

Big hug Meggie! Sounds like you were close with your mom. I was too. I too would call my mom on my way home. Or if the weather was bad she'd call me and remind me to drive safe. Death seems so unfair. Because it takes away the ones we truly love and who love us. Crying is good. I cry still. Never hold our feeling in. If you are like me, you will have good days and bad days. It is just the way it is. Loss of our loved ones hurts so deeply, it is a pain I cannot even describe.

Hi ladies, I also call my mother whenever I need to talk about anything, it can be during work or on the way home. She was always there to listen, even if she was busy, she put my own life ahead of her. She would also tell me to be safe and come home soon. (we live together) i miss her so much, she is the only one who truly love us unconditionally.

So true Casey! Who else had that true unconditional love for us.

Although it's been almost 10 months I still feel like this is all a big nightmare, and that tomorrow I'll be able to see my mom again, to hug her and kiss her..  I still have my dad to care for, and most times I have to be stronger than I can...  Just so he doesn't break down.  Miss you so much mom!!!!