I"m sorry just haven't been on here lately, still grieving my mom's death but am too overwhelmed with taking care of my dad to give anyone on here any support.

It's tough not having Mom around to bounce these issues off of, ask for advice, etc., etc.  I feel like I am flying blind at times.  But, got to keep the plane in the air....

Today was the day we held my mothers funeral. I to miss having her to ask for advice. She left me in charge and the challenge is pretty overwhelming. I am very thankful that my husband was there to help me do the planning of the service. He is all I have left now. It's scary to be in charge. I have few family members left and they have not been able to help with anything except praying. That is all well and good but I really need them to understand the rock is gone. I've just been drifting without her. My job was sent overseas 12 years ago and I have worked plenty of contract jobs and saved as much as possible. I think I am having a major mid life crisis. The thought of going back to school is daunting to say the least until I get everything straightened out on the home front. I just hope they all stay quiet this year.

It seems we all miss the advice a lot and it really makes things so hard. 

I understand where you are coming from Jean.  I too am in the same position as you are.  I refer to it as me being the "responsible adult".

I've been reading all the posts and it's like sharing what I feel with all of you. It's been 1 year and a bit more than a month since mom passed.  The pain is very much there, yesterday someone asked me about her and I had to tell him she had passed last year, but that was all I could say because I realized I was going to start to cry. I still can't talk about it.

Hello Friends,

Checking in. It's been 1 year and 3 months (tomorrow) since Mom passed away. Some days, it is easier, and others, it's still hard. I think I've accepted that I will always miss her. I am missing her more now because I found out recently that I am expecting. If all goes well, I'm going to be a mom. I am thrilled and elated and also terribly sad that she isn't here to share this joy and this news with me. For those of you who have children, how do you cope with being a parent after the loss of your mom?

Wishing you all peace; for those of you who are in the beginning throes of grief, do know that with time, it does get easier. Also know that there is no "time limit" to your grief. Allow yourself to feel it and experience it, and don't rush anything. Take all the time you need.

Congratulations, Eliza. 

There's never a time limit...the memory is always there, in one way or another.  But, day to day, it does get a bit easier. 

Eliza & Jeff I can totally relate. It's been six months since I lost my mom and best friend. I too have accepted that I will miss her forever! I have easier days, and some hard days. But, her memory will be there forever. I cry less, but I still cry. I too will just take things one day at a time. It's funny how quickly people forget the huge loss we have endured. I told someone just the other day how hard the last year has been on me and they asked why. This is someone who knows me well. I truly think you have to lose a loved one you are really close to to truly understand.

I'd have to agree with Lisa on all said including the people around you.  I don't take it too seriously if they fail to understand what has happened as they are not experts in the area of grief and survival.  It's been real hard the last 7-8 months to adjust. I'm not there yet at all.

im going thru a major crisis with my life and health right now....please all pray for me....i have PTSD and today is my mom's birthday....i had a panic attack today and it could have taken my life....i hope that things will clear up and i will be ok....i need alot of prayer....i will check back soon

Prayers

thank you so much wow i need that....thanks hun

im seeing a therapist now, it helped....and they have me on meds, hopefully i will get straight soon....i also have PTSD....but its not severe....its only occurs if something in the past comes up that triggers it....thanks o much for your understanding missy, i needed that....this is so hard

When we lose close family, we are broken down, but somehow rebuild.  It's never the same, will always be different.  But we do rebuild and move on.  It's never easy.

I don't know if this is happening to others but as the 1 year since the event comes nearer, I am feeling really down and having a very hard time right now. 

Jeff and Danny, life truly feels like it will never quite be the same. As a result, I have some ok days and some very sad days. I am trying to move on, as I know my parents would want, but it is slow going at 6 months for my mom and 19 months for my dad!

well all im not doing well, it seems to be i will never get out of this rut....ive been to the hospital almost every day for 2 weeks...im thankful to be alive but i wish God would cut me a break....im too young for all these problems....im hanging in there and need your blessings and strength....rachel

go at your own pace Wendy. 

Thanks Danny! I try so hard to be better, but I really am going to have to heal at my own pace. And it feels like it is going to be a really slow pace.

hello all,  i havent been here for over a year.  my mom went to heaven on 2/22/12.   she was 92 yrs old.  i still cant believe the words i just typed.  my world is empty without her & my whole life changed.  the only thing keeping me going is that she is   in heaven & i will see her when i get there.

it is 'really' slow Wendy for you since there was not much of a gap.  Perfectly ok.  One moment at a time.

Sandee, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of mom. I can say it is devastating when a parent leaves us. Frankly, I will never quite be the same. My parents both died within a year of each other. As Danny mentions, take it one moment at a time. It is truly the only way. I too believe we will see our parents again one day. Sometimes the pain of missing our mom's is almost too much. But hang in there. She would be proud of how strong you have been since her passing. Blessings to you!

Its been so very long since I have been on here.  My mom passed away in March of 2012.  I just got through the second year anniversary but this year I had to get through it alone because I lost my only sister this past December and her husband just 19 days later and then my father in law just a little over 2 weeks ago.  This online support group was a huge help to me when I lost my mom. Right now I am just trying to figure out why so much loss, it makes no sense and frankly angers me that now it is just me-my dad, mom, and only sister-all taken from me.

Mary, I feel the same way, that now it's ''only me''. It's that feeling of being left behind. I send you a hug, be strong.

I've read many times that one has to find a ''new normal'', after our loved ones have passed, because life can't be the same. After more than one year I haven't found that new normal. Life always has a bit of a sad edge nowadays.

Its been 2 years since I lost my mom and I sure hope the rut I am in is not my "new normal!"  I'm not anything like my old self.  I kind of miss that old me  but don't know how to get her back or if it is even possible.

I do not know if it is possible to mentally prepare for the loss of a parent.  The pain is so much more intense and deep than I could ever have imagined.  I think the best we can do is talk/chat/blog or whatever and slowly things will get a bit easier.  I am by no means done grieving, but with the support group I have been attending, I am not feeling so lost or alone.

its not possible i agree. Support group would be great

I don't think you can prepare...I know I tried; ran it thru my mind many, many times.  Still, it was incredibly hard to accept.  New "normal" wont' be like it was before...just hitting a reset button with fewer people now in your life.  It's really the pits, but you endure.  Thinking about Mom a lot lately...since Easter is coming up.

im a mess....have a lot of medical problems, dont know how to get out of this mess....cant seem to straighten out, im tired of suffering....yesterday was great and the day before, i wish i could keep things going better....im at a loss....

indeed building a support system is vital to endure..if it's already there then it's really good.

Been fighting a lot with my fiance lately. He proposed after my Mom's passing and on the 8th it will be 11 months she's been gone. In our anger, I confessed that happiness seems impossible without her and he did not take it well. But what can I do? A huge piece of my heart, my soul, is gone forever. I can't change that; I can't give him what I don't have. I still cry every day for her. I still blame myself for not being able to save her. Her birthday is approaching, then the first anniversary of her death and then mother's day. How will I get through this!

Mommy I miss you so much I love you with all my heart please be with me!

I'm back in the USA yet again and it's always something legal-related. Not only is it harder to get acclimated to my new home overseas, but coming back to America knowing that it's the place where mom was killed is devastating. Dealing with death via medical malpractice isn't exactly my ideal 6,600 mile away vacation. I recently promised mom that if we somehow lost our lawsuits that I'd do the one thing that I can think of to at least try to restore her honor. The fact that it's even crossed my mind given that I could never have imagined it just two years ago is disturbing to me in and of itself. I'll be leaving the US indefinitely next month and depending on how our lawsuits turn out, this time might, sadly, be the last.

It's tough Dave, today i mean doctors do what they do and we are not specialists who are qualified to oversee this. 

Doctors doing their job is one thing but not paying attention and subsequently causing a healthy person to die during a minor procedure is unacceptable. And denying culpability despite overwhelming evidence is what turns a medical error into murder as far as I'm concerned. For the doctor's sake, I hope that they agree to settle or are found guilty if it goes to court.

I completely agree its unacceptable. 

I am pleased to announce that my grand daughter Alexandria Diane, in honor of my Mother was born in April 10th.  I swear that Mom was with us when she was born!

Congratulations to you and your family, Tracy L and welcome to the world baby Alexandria Diane.

Thank you Kristin.  My Mom was so excited about having another great grandchild.  We found out she was a little girl the day Mom passed.

How long does it take to feel like yourself again? 4/28 will be a year that I lost my mom. She was my best friend.  What a year!  I also lost two friends who I thought were close, but they pretty much wrote be off....

Lisa Renee, it has been close to 8 months since I lost my mom and best friend. Frankly, I don't think I will ever feel quite the same again. I think we learn to deal with the pain, but I think we are forever changed. I am sure that is the case for myself. I do think one day we will be better, but just not quite the same if that makes sense.

I agree with Wendy.  I am sure I will never be the same, but am learning to handle the day by day stuff, it is just the holidays and special dates when the family would always celebrate that hits me.  For example, my family had a celebration dinner for the birthdays of the month.  My son's 21st is tomorrow and I am changing it from eating at the house to going out to eat so it is not so demanding on all of us to have to try to carry on the tradition.

i have no kids no family. My mom was 56 and she died of lung cancer,. Its been 8 weeks since she passed away. I actually constantly want to die but i know that my mom wouldn't want it. That ist he only reason I am not dead because she wouldnt want me to. I will never recover from this nor should I be really. My mom was and is my everything.

Casey... I'm sorry to hear about your mom. The first weeks after my mom passed away were horrific for me .I also thought about not wanting to live anymore, I think it's a normal thought brought by all the pain one is feeling.

You have to try to take it very slowly, one day at a time or one hour at a time, and be patient and caring with yourself. 

I  am experiencing many emotions.  I feel alot of panic whenever i think about the fact that my mother is gone. I have aunties from another country, but I feel like I am absolutely alone no matter who I am with because my mom is not here anymore. I feel so much despair and sadness I wish I can just died from my broken heart...*cries*

Everything in this world is so strange and foreign to me...my mother was my sanctuary...i was depressed before but now I am absolutely in a dark vortex

Thanks Melissa

Sometimes relocation makes all the difference. After my mom was killed in 2012, dad and I decided to leave where we were since we had no close family there. Now, living in a new place where we have family and where mom always wanted to live, things have been eased somewhat. And with her reinterred here, we're finally all together in the place that mom always wanted to be. I think that this has brought us as much peace as can be expected at this point.

Missy, it will be two years in September for me too. Your daughter want you to be better like my daughter want me to be better. I am who I am. My son was with a girl and her brother. They told police that my son was playing with the gun and shot himself in the head. I know they shot my only son Missy, I know they had something to do with my son death. I just can not prove it.