Simin - I am sorry you feel so bad.  You know, I am starting to think that maybe we do spend time with them when we are in a sleep state.  I've had that same type of dream dozens of times where I'm with my mom and in a literal state of shock that my body is feeling that she is alive and that the doctors were wrong and the cancer didn't kill her - and I'm following her around and begging her to take her medicine and she is telling me she doesn't need it any more as she is not sick.  In some of the dreams we go to the doctor and the doctor is saying she is cancer free.  And, the whole time I'm with her I have this feeling like she is healthy and I can't wrap my head around that.  Maybe they are healthy now and coming back to visit us and spend time with us in our sleep cuz when we are asleep we are in a state where they can get to us.  I wish I could explain that feeling I have in those dreams - it is like I can't believe she is better so I'm waiting for the bottom to fall out but the bottom doesn't fall out until I wake up and realize I'm not really with her.  I got so close in a dream like that last week that I woke up all excited and surrounded by the feeling I had when with my mom thinking, "Me and Mom are going shopping on Saturday."  Then, I realized she was gone.  I think maybe they are alive.  I think my mom is trying to let me know she is alive still.  I know how it feels to want to die and be with them.  They wouldn't want us to hurt ourselves though.  They want us to live our lives and allow ourselves to go in our natural time.  I know, because I will probably go before my niece who is like a daughter to me and is 24 years younger than me, and I want her to live her life to the fullest when I am gone.  I don't want her grieving and hurting and longing to be with me before her time.  That is how our parents feel about us.  Besides, we don't want to leave that kind of grief behind us with our surviving family.  They are already grieving one loss.  If we leave this world before our time, we make them grieve two losses.  We have to hang on.  It does slowly get better a little bit at a time.  Please believe me on that.

It is very, very hard to hang on and want to die at the same time. The desire to be out of pain is a really strong emotion when one is already overwrought with grief. I have no answer for why survival tends to always override the wish to die. The sorrow is coming from your bones, Simin. I get it. I have managed to hang on and have gradually been able to spend a  day that isn't total pain all day long. It just happens. And on those days, I find an accidental joy from something, whatever, and the experience of that joy is somehow deeper now. It is fleeting, but it feels true. Please take care of yourself, Simin.

Dear everyone and Dr simin,

I miss my mom so much, it hurts so bad, and i feel like it will never go away.  My birthday is Nov 1 and my first without Mom.  I get so sad just thinking about how wonderful she was on EVERY single birthday, no matter how old we got.   She always did something special, she was an amazing woman and i don't know what to do sometimes.

Hi everyone, and hugs to u all. Thanx Storyas and Judy for comforting woeds. Staory, i always have the 'mum is alive and well' just before i waken in the morning and i know that it will mean that i will be extra sad on that day, like today. To be honest i prefer not to have this recurring dream, but i know that i'll be having it for a long time to come. It's effecting me really badly, the days that i haven't had the 'mum alive' are much easier to cope with.

Michael, it's my bday on the 7th of November and i just don't know how i will get through. Mum always made bdays big family occasions and often baked and decorated cakes for us her children and made extra eff my little niece and my nephews when they were younger. I really don't know how i will ever get over mums death. Seems ipmossible. I know i will never be the person i was with mum on the palnet. It's like i've lost my whole identity, it's a weird feeling.

My mom died on March 18th, 2011.  My grief has not let up.  I miss my mom every minute of every day.  The thing that keeps me alive is that I have no way of easily ending my life.  If I had a gun in the house, maybe I would no longer be here and in so much pain.

i lost my mom on june 27 2012 and this has been the hardest 4 months of my life. i have always been a daddy's girl and never thought that losing my mom would have this effect on me. I have my good days and i have my bad ones it comes and goes. My mom was the most amazing woman i have ever known. She would give you the shirt off her back to help you. She had diabetes and diabetic neuropathy in her legs. In oct of 2010 she had a abdominal aortic aneurism and had surgery to correct it. I can count the number of days on my hands and feet that i was away from my mom after that. about a week before she passed away she was complaining about not being able to catch her breath this continued til the day before passed. i went to her house the day before to pick up my daughter, as she got off of the school bus at moms, and mom said that she was feeling alot better so i didn't think anymore about it. come to find out later she was in the throws of diabetic ketoacidosis and this is what her cause of death was ruled. I also found out that if she had been taking her insulin like she should have this wouldn't have happened, but i think that she was looking for a way out of her miserable marriage, collapsing house and 4 impending surgeries. I don't think that she really grasped how much we all loved her. I also don't think any less of my mom if this is what she ultimately did to herself. I love my mom and she will always be in my heart. I'm sorry i am rambling on and on. yesterday was the 4 month mark and sometimes i just wish i could stop grieving and that she was still here. i just want to give her a hug and tell her that i love her.

Hearts and hugs to everyone, Y'all. If there's anyone in the eastern seaboard tonight, my thoughts go out to you. Please keep friends and family in your prayers/thoughts tonight if they are in Hurricane Sandy's way. 

Sonia, I am sorry for your loss.  I understand what you mean about good days and bad days. I don't know how long this lasts, but my mom passed in March of this year and the roller coaster continues for me.  Your mom loves you always.  This is a great support group!

Ann...I don't know how to say this, but I believe your mom would say, "don't you dare think like that."  Regardless of how old you are, you will always be your moms little girl and she would never want anything bad to happen to you because of her.  Come on here, talk to the folks on the chat.  We are all going through the same loss and through the grieving process and we can help each other get through this.

Michael, I know what you feel going through your first birthday without her.  My mom died 1 month and 1 day before my birthday.  We always went to Red Lobster together on my birthday and her birthday.  I remember a few days after she died driving by that Red Lobster and just completely falling apart in the parking lot of the mall next door.  I'm not going to lie, I still can't step foot in a Red Lobster and likely never will again, but it is better every year by a little bit.  I can drive by now without crying and feeling like I can't breathe.  Unfortunately, all you can do is feel the pain on this birthday and wait for it to be a little easier next year.  But, maybe you can do something special for yourself on your birthday to help you get through it - buy yourself that something you've always wanted or go away with a friend or something - whatever would give you a moment of happiness.  Just please know it gets better.  When I think back to how much pain I was in that first birthday sitting in the parking lot at Red Lobster, I am surprised I lived through it.  But, it is a little better now.

Simin - happy birthday on the 7th.  Do you have someone you could share a cake with on that day, so that you don't feel you lost everything.  Or, maybe you could bake a cake and go to her gravesite and still share it with her.  If you leave the rest there as a memorial though just please make sure it is not chocolate as animals will eventually eat whatever is left, and chocolate is not good for them.  This is just an idea.  That may be too painfully impossible for you just yet.  It's just an idea.  If not, maybe you can share a cake with a good friend or celebrate with the rest of your family or something.  I'm just coming up with the cake idea, because my mom always made sure we had a cake and party and stuff, and I've decided this year on her birthday that I want to get her favorite cake from the bakery I used to get it at and take it to her gravesite.  It was too painful for me to do it up until now.

I know, those dreams make the day harder, but I'd rather have them than not have them.  At least I feel like I was with her that night.  Any time I can have with her is worth it.  But, you are right - they do make the days, especially the next morning, harder, because you feel the loss all over again.  I don't know what the answer is other than time.

Sonia - I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.  I know how bad you are hurting.  It was the same with me.  I was always my mom's best friend.  I never dreamed it would hurt almost as much when my dad died as it did when my mom died, but it did.  After my mom died, me and my dad got so close.  It wasn't that there was anything wrong with him before that.  It was just that he worked such long long long hours, so I did stuff with my mom while he was working.  Me and my mom did everything together - grocery shopping, bank, get our taxes done, plus the fun stuff like going out to eat.  I've never been that close to anyone in my life and never will be.  I always loved my dad and was always known by every one to be his favorite, but we just never had that time together untll after he retired.  My mom was already gone then.  So, that last few years we had after she died, I got so close to my dad.  And, even though I had always been closer to my mom before he retired, I was amazed that it still hurt so bad. I didn't expect that.

I also feel like my dad gave up after my mom died.  But, you know what, we won't really know what they were thinking or what led them to their decisions.  We'd probably be wrong if we guessed.  So, it is probably best not to torture ourselves trying to figure out what they were thinking.  I just truly believe that no matter what led them and each of us to our ends that we all go to a better place.  I do not think she is suffering any more now.  There is a group on here called After Death Experiences.  I have had many and would have thought I was nuts had it not been for that group letting me know many many many people have those experiences.  I really believe those experiences are to let me know they are okay.  It sounds like your Mom had a hard life in many ways, as did my dad.  We can find some comfort in knowing they are at peace now.

I do want to assure you that the pain does get easier with time.  I couldn't believe that at four months, but it does.  Hang in there.  It does get easier.

Ann - I am so sorry that you are feeling so badly that you think about killing yourself.  I think that is common for people in deep grief - I've thought it myself.  Please promise me you will go talk to a counselor or get a grief support group where you can physically touch base with someone.  I know your Mom would not want that for you.  Are you a Mom?  If so, think how you would feel if your child killed themselves.  You don't want to put her through that either.  I believe they still see what we are going through from the other side.  Go to the After Death Experiences group on this site if what I'm about to say is not understandable - but I get phone calls from my dad since he passed on.  Often they have been to answer my requests that he let me know he is alright.  A few weeks ago, my dad's dog who was really sick was dying, and she was suffering.  My phone started ringing every night instead of intermittently until I took her to the vet.  The vet confirmed there was nothing that could be done for her and that she was suffering, so I euthanized her.  The phone calls became intermittent again.  I think they can still see us and care intimately about our suffering.  My dad knew his dog was suffering, and I could help her.  He kept calling until I did.  I do not think they would want us to harm ourselves.  I think they would know if we did, and I think it would be as devastating to them as how we feel now.  Please promise me you will see a counselor.  If you can't afford one, most cities have places where you can go for free or sliding fee scale counseling.  Blessings to you.  I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Mary, the roller coaster does continue, but it gets a little easier with the passage of time.  Just today I went to a candle store that me and my mom used to always go to together.  I have been there maybe twice since she died.  The last weeks of her life, we went there together.  They also sell kitchen wares, and she bought be a cake plate like hers where you can flip the top and put it on a base and use it for a punch bowl too.  She knew I had always liked hers, and she bought me one.  I cherish that cake plate like nothing you can imagine.  It is always on my dining room table, and I make it very clear to anyone who does not treat it gingery that they need to straighten up.  I was walking through that candle store today and I thought, "How can this still be here when she is gone.  How can life go on like it always has when she is not here any more."  You know, life doesn't mean as much without the people we love in it.  My family background is the Appalachian Mountains.  We were very poor and growing up things we take for granted now were just out of our reach - shopping for something other than groceries, going to a movie, eating out.  After us kids grew up and got jobs, our financial lives improved.  My brothers took her out from time to time, but me and my mom went out all the time.  And, I almost felt guilty sometimes that we had it so good (and good for us doesn't mean a five star restaurant but maybe Arbys), because we'd never had it so good before.  Now that my mom is gone (and my dad) none of that means jack to me any more.  I'm grateful there is a fast food restaurant if I'm running too much that day and must stop cuz my blood sugar went too low, but to stop and enjoy it - what's the point.  You know, I kinda understand the Buddhists a little bit better.  This world and it's riches aren't what matter.  I still have access to most of those riches, but they aren't rich if I'm not sharing them with her (or my dad), but especially my mom as I always  shared them with her.  I used to dress funky all the time.  I never went out without make-up on, and I loved dressing funky.  Now, I run around in sweats and a bun.  I used to love to draw and make jewelry.  Not any more.  The only thing I still enjoy is knitting, and I do that in front of the tv.  I do not go to my knitting groups and spend time with friends any more.  It just sometimes is hard for me to grasp that this world goes on so similar to what it was before, but she is not here to share it with me.  I sometimes wish I could do it all over again, because I would have shared those things with her twice as much and spent twice as much time with her.

James - good thought to share.  Let us pray for everyone on the eastern seaboard.  By the time this storm is over, there may be loss of life and people grieving as hard as we are grieving right now.  Let us pray for the safety of every one.

Deat Stoyas,

My condolences.  thank you for the kind words.  it really means a lot.  I miss my mom so much.

I've gained weight too.   poor eating habits, eating because i'm bored, eating cuz i'm sad.  not exercising.  my condolences to everyone who lost their Mom.The last picture of my Mom.  I took it when we went to Olvera Street two weeks before she passed.

I'm finding the opposite, i can hardly eat. All i want to do is drink tea and smoke but coz of my own health problems i shouldn't be smoking at all. It's as if doing something to harm myself makes me feel better somehow. Everything seems so bleak at the moment and i just wish i could die and be with mum. It hurts my family to hear me say this but i can't help feeling this way. past week has been much worse than the weeks before it

Simin - I know how you feel, but please hang on.  It does slowly get better from here.  Your mom would not want you to be doing anything that would be harmful for your health.

Michael and Jennifer and Simin - all of our routines are disrupted.  Until we find a new routine, it is hard to know what to do and to stay on a schedule.  I found it helped to write down my schedule - what I ate for breakfast, etc.  It worked for a while but then my husband was sick again over the summer and I got so busy I didn't have time to do it and everything went to heck again.  But, it did help when I was doing it.  Maybe it would help for you too.

There is a huge difference between grieving and depression, but the two often go hand in hand.  Depression can oft times be worked through without medical intervention BUT when you begin to feel as if you would rather die then continue living, or you stop doing the things you need to do to stay alive and healthy-eating, not over eating, smoking, not taking medication, etc., and you can't or won't do things you normally did-bath, clean, take care of kids, others, etc. THEN it is time to seek medical help.  There is absolutely NO SHAME in asking your doctor for help and being on medication. 

Yes, Therapy and medication can help a lot.  medication can help with crying.  it helped me a lot.  therapy also is a big help.  I am still in therapy.  I started when my wife passed away three years ago, and now, I am talking about Mom passing away.  The three years of therapy really did help with Mom's passing.  not much, but i did learn things in the last three years.

God Bless Everyone

I've been in therapy for six years now, started for other reasons, but I have found that going to therapy is my normal now..I don't know what I would do, if I wasn't able to go. I brought up the food situation about a month ago, but it wasn't this bad. I just wasn't sure if this happened to anyone else. 

I feel like eating all the time and smoking.. I haven't picked up drinking as of yet but sometimes i would rather be wasted than to live in my normal day to day life. I have two types of depression, bi-polar, and anxiety disorder so i know what to look for in myself. I know that i am starting on a downward spiral because i haven't been taking my meds like i am supposed to because i just can't afford them right now. but i have a great husband who takes good care of me. my dad is supposed to be sending me my meds soon so that i can get back on track. like i said in my earlier post things have been so different since mom passed away. I know that she will always be with me in my heart but i am selfish and want her here in person. Sometimes i don't know what to do with myself and i sleep all day then there are some days that i am perfectly fine. I just want some sense of normalcy in my life again. My husband is going through a bankruptcy  so we lost our house and my car and moved to texas to start over again.  I don't know anyone in texas and i feel lonely most days. My husband is in school and is gone during the morning hours. That is when i miss my mom the most. when she was still alive i would have just gone over to her house and talked. I don't have that option anymore. i'm sorry i am rambling again.

Sonia, don't apologize at all and you are not rambling! I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it's not easy at all! I've tried picking up drinking but I have an intolerance to alcohol now, I think it's the medicine that I'm taking that is causing it. I too have Bipolar and anxiety so the mood swings never stop but since Mom has been gone, it's been 100% worse! I used to smoke socially but now it makes me sick..I sure do wish food would do the same! I just want to be leveled out!

jennifer, I wish i could level out too but i know that i have a long way to go. I understand how you feel with it being 100% worse now. I just wish that i had my meds to take. My step mom is being a meanie about it and won't send certain meds because of them being questionable and those are the meds i need. i couldn't pick them up myself because i would have had to pay full price on them and i don't have that kind of money. Drinking does nothing for me anymore and i agree that i wish food would make me sick. I still pick up a cigarette and smoke it but my husband is trying to help me quit. mainly because i am so much like my mom and have health issues, he wants me to get healthy but somedays i just don't care anymore. My daughter is 7 and she decided that when we moved she wanted to spend the rest of the school year with her daddy so it is like double the loss. The only thing that is keeping me going is that I will get to see my daughter for christmas. I will never see my mom again. This will be the first holidays without her and i don't know how i am going to handle it. Her birthday was hard enough. anyway, I hope that you all have a great day.

I am really not looking forward to tomorrow.  It is my moms birthday and the first of her birthdays that she won't be here to celebrate it.  I used to take her to lunch and would take her a white cake cupcake if I could find one!  She loved white cake, not yellow cake, white cake, white icing, but she was diabetic so I tried to make sure she did not eat too much cake.  The weather is so depressing as well, its not helping.  I don't even want to get any candy to pass out to the trick or treaters, it just doesn't feel right.

Mary It gets dark here at 5pm since the clocks were moved back. It's the worst time of day for me. Tonight there was a beautiful fullish moon and i couldn't even bear to look at it as it reminded me so much of mum. She always used to say i brightened her life like the brightest of full moons. My little niece carved a pumpkin today but halloween is just not the same without mum. It's 40 days since she's gone and the pain in my heart is so unbearble. I miss her more than anything in the world. Hugs to you all and lots of love. You are not alone.x

ken, i am so sorry for your loss. I sometimes think that it was a good thing that my mom passed suddenly. That way i didn't have to watch her suffer more. Believe me i know that my mom suffered enough but i couldn't bare the thought of her going through what she was going through any more. She was a strong woman but that was only on the outside. She wouldn't let you know what was on her mind or how she was feeling. I wish she would have let me take her to the hospital when i asked her to go but she was stubborn and she didn't want another bill because she didn't have insurance. I should have pushed it and made her go and maybe just maybe she would be alive today. I miss her so much. Your right you will always miss her. But we have to trust and have faith that we will see our moms again one day when our time comes. I wish you all the best in the coming months and years. I am only 4 months into life without my mom so it is still fresh on my mind.

Dear Ken,

My condolences.  My mom passed on 9/28/12 and my life changed and will never be the same.  My mom, like your mom, was amazing.  She had an amazing life.  God bless you, our Moms and everyone.

Hi, I am new to the group. My mom passed away suddenly July 30, 2012. I miss her so much. My most pressing issue is that my siblings and I are having an estate sale this weekend (much too early in my opinion), and I am afraid that I will break down during the sale. I am just not emotionally ready. Is there anyone else in the group with a similar experience?

Linda, i am sorry for your loss. my mom didn't have an estate so i didn't have to go through that but it was hard to go through her clothes and belongings. I did that back in sept. and my sister in law helped me. she and her daughter ended up with most of moms clothes because they fit them and not me. I took a few of her clothes for myself. I was dreading it so bad but it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. My mom was a clothing hoarder and there was a massive amount of clothing. I am wishing you all the best and my prayers will be with you and your family.

Thank you, Sonia. I am so sorry for your loss as well. My sister and I have done most of the work to get ready for the sale. We have two brothers who have prepared the things in the barn and shop. I'm hoping that that process has helped prepare us emotionally for the sale. Thanks for your prayers. Prayer is powerful! God is our strength.

Hi Linda, I am sorry for your loss.  We have had to go through my mothers things and did have one sale, it was not as hard as I thought, but just make absolutely sure you don't sell anything you might regret later-turns out we sold something that my sister later really felt bad about selling and she wished she had kept it-sentimental value.

Yes, Mary, I'm afraid of that. Sold some things this morning and didn't want to let them go. Cookie jar Mother always kept homemade cookies or something sweet homemade in. A measuring cup the she has measured hundreds of cups of flour for over 60 years, my dad's shaving mug. I have brought so much to my house already, and I know I can't keep everything.

Linda, I lost my mom on January 27th and had to move out of the house at the end of March. Her name was the only one on the deed and I wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways but it was so hard! I have lived in that house for 14 years, so it was like going through two losses! I haven't even drove by there in months, it's just too painful! I miss that life so much, all the memories, good and bad! I'm so sorry for you loss and I'm sending many thoughts and prayers your way!!!

Thank you, Jennifer. I am sorry about your mom. Where you able to keep any of her belongings?

Yes, I kept most of it, and some of it went to her husband(my step-dad). I had one of her uniforms made into a bear, I posted a picture of it on here on the 20th of this month. When I hold it, I feel at peace! It's one of my most prized possessions now! I'll probably never get rid of her stuff, even the clothes!

@Jennifer I have a similar feeling every time I hold mom's urn. And jeez....I'll be moving out of my house for similar reasons. I know it's probably time for me to move on anyway, in terms of the house (NOT in terms of mom,) but it still feels kinda harsh knowing I'll never be coming back to this house again soon. 

the one thing that i wanted to keep of my moms was her egg collection but my step dad wouldn't let me have them. I think that we may be going to alabama for christmas  so i will contact the landlord and see if i can get into the house to get most of them, if my step dad didn't take them. At first he was just wanting to get moms stuff out of the house and then he started acting funny about everything. I think that his friends were telling him that they wanted her egg collection. she had almost 200 marble eggs and some that can't be replaced.

James, yeah it recently sold the other day! I knew I couldn't live there without my mom but I didn't want anyone else to have it either. She busted her butt off for that, and I feel like no else deserves it!

Sonia, I would definitely check into that! That's important to you and I think it will help you during the healing process!!

I understand Damir-many of us do-my moms birthday was the 31st of Oct.  I think the Fall weather makes the pain seem stronger because Fall and Winter keep us inside more, it is dark earlier and later, its drearier then Summer and Spring and the holidays are approaching and I know I for one seem to feel sadder when the weather is nasty. We all have some hard times coming up with the Holidays and all.  I gain a lot of strength from the folks in here, knowing I am not alone.

Nov 1st was my Birthday, my first without Mom.  she passed away on sept 28th.  It was a horrible day.  I miss you mom. 

My condolences to everyone who has lost their mom.

Mike

My mom was so loving and anyone that met her loved her.  Children in stores were drawn to her.  There are many who were not her biological children who called her mom. I never had a problem with that and I am sure that they grieve too, but a few have said lately that she was their mom too and they grieve the same as me.  I don't think so and it kinda makes me mad when they say stuff like that. They have/had their own mom and there is no way they can feel the pain I feel.  I was closer to her then anyone.  I took care of her, I loved her immensely.  I feel petty, but it just makes me so mad sometimes.  They just don't get it.

dear Mary,

My  condolences. 

I also cared for my mom.  I was devastated when she passed.  My brother has shown little emotion while I have been overcome with tears and sadness.  I spoke to my therapist and he will deal with it in his own way at his own time.  we shouldn't be concerned with others, but I do understand how you feel.  No one shares our grief.  no one understands how we feel, even when they say they do, and they probably feel something very close to what we feel.  don't let it bother you, they just don't understand and they are actually trying to make you feel better, they actually care, but don't understand what to do or say, because there is nothing anyone can do or say, that makes us feel any better.

Love,

MIke

I miss my momma so much!! She passed on September 29th, 2012 at the hospital. I'm very grateful that I was able to see her and speak to her before she died. I'm so glad that she was surrounded by her family as she passed. I still can't believe that she's not with us anymore. It's so  hard to go on. Every day I have to force myself not to call in sick at work. I cry a lot. I'm sure I've made other people very uncomfortable with my tears because I seem to cry whenever and wherever, in public or private. The first Sunday back at my home church they played one of the songs we chose for Momma's funeral. I couldn't sing along. I have a lot of guilt, too. I really wish I had said more to her while I had the chance, but all I could get out while she was lying in that hospital bed was that I loved her. I should have thanked her for everything she had done for me. I should have told her I appreciated how she loved me and was always there for me even when I didn't deserve it. There are so many things I should have said, but all that came out was that I loved her. I wish I could've had more time with her. 

Jennifer, you know what, you said the most important thing any child could say to their mother-"I LOVE YOU!"  I am a mom and I know if I was laying in a bed dying-those 3 words would be all I needed to hear.  Even though kids don't say it often, we know that they appreciate us and no matter what our children do, they deserve our love and we would do anything for them.  Don't feel guilty, what is important is you were there!  As for the crying-it is ok, my mom passed in March of this year and I still cry in private and in public.  When you think about it, your mom has only been gone a little over a month-that is not long enough to be through your grief and I am sure they understand and if they don't, well too bad for them!  Just make your mom proud by living your life as she would want you to!

Dear Jennifer,

My Mom passed away the day before your mom, on 9/28/12.  I was with my mom the night before she passed and I talked for three hours to her.  I read to her and I told her everything as I held her hand.  I apologized, I thanked her, I explained everything to her, what she meant to me and why.  she squeezed my hand a few times and i saw a tear.  I know she was telling me she loved me and was proud of me.  I think about my mom constantly, cry all the time.  i'm crying now.  she was an amazing mom, wife, grandma, nana, everything.   she survived polio at 11 years old and never complained.  i never heard her ever complain or feel sorry for herself that one leg was stiff.  she always encouraged all her children and everyone she knew, to be everything they could and to get everything out of life they could.  she was wonderful and i miss her dearly, just as you miss your mom.

it's okay to feel sad and cry, all that.  it's very okay.

love,

mike

Dear Jennifer,

My Condolences.