Michelle, I left a message for Bonnie too--I do hope she gets here n shares. Ammy pls take care... Berna Milt, how are you doing? this question is an odd one to ask I know, but when asked here i don't resent it-- anyone else asking me this makes me unable to answer truthfully... So Berna, that's how I mean it-- I hope and pray that you have some support system .love.

Photographs and Memories.... these are all I have to remember you by.....  remember that song.. . wow looking at your photographs.... then cleaning and re-arranging bedrooms for a gal to come live here with her 4 year old... she has not been here since before Niles died.... her daughter is just turning 4.... born after Niles died... then as I declutter...there are those photographs and memories... kindergarten... this age that age.... flood with tears even though it has been 4 years and almost 3 months.... how can I see a 4 year old...listen to the cartoons that he watched... ?  Before He died... After he Died....  Photographs and Memories..... Ghosts have come for a visit.... well at least they are surfacing..... I hope I can be ok with this kid coming to live with me....

Thinking of everyone as the day here is coming to another end.  Granddaughter has just left and the little grandson is taking a nap.

 So quiet.  I'd rather have the distractions at times because the quietness allows my mind to go to those places I want to avoid (my loss) and then on your losses as well.  Our mind can become our prison - especially with grief.  

My hope is that I've helped give some hope with some of the things I write.  I am not qualified to know what may help since I am not in your individual shoes.  But I so wish to help you feel better, and yet I know we all have the same loss but we may grieve differently.  

If I ever say anything that is upsetting to any one of you, please let me know.  It is not my intention to deepen your hurt, but to give you hope for a gentler day to come.  I cannot take awake your pain, and I know promises that it will get better sound too unbelievable for you right now.  (Sigh)

As always...in my prayers.  

Teresa, do not feel pressured into parting with your son's jerseys.  Take your time.  His friend(s) will understand.  I learned this the hard way and now regret our hastiness in not keeping all of my son's belongings.  Even now when I think about letting someone have something I hesitate, and as long as there is hesitation they will not leave.  When the time is right I know I will feel comfortable with it.

I hope today has not been overwhelming and that you have been able to remember that we are here and thinking of you.  Hugs. 

People don't know what to say to people like us, they are not in our shoes. So they say things that are so wrong. If I didn't cry, I would explode. Crying is painful but necessary.

My doctor told me today that my tears are full of the love we have for our child. Since our love is never ending, so are our tears.

Sometimes I feel out of depth, I read what everyone says and nod my head and do not know how to respond or make it better for anyone , myself included. Adrianne, this is so tough and I can't even believe that we write things like ,'my son died' etc..All I can say is, God must have had his reason and since God is all Love, we need to hang on to that. It is the only thought that gives some solace..((( ))))

Adrianne.... I have written this letter in my mind ...or phone call... THings just are not the same .... since   everyone is falling apart.

Today is 11 months yet to me it feels like 11 minutes.  I just want my baby back!  I can't figure out how to live in this new world I'm in.   MICHAEL MOMMY LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the saddest day of my life. Danny, I have not touched you, laughed with you, held you in 2 years. I miss you son more than anything. Love you always.

Danny 1983 - 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmfvoVTives&feature=player_embedded

Dick I'm with you today.

Michael Cristo Dimitri III

2/14/83 - 9/14/2012

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Teresa

I wish I could wipe your tears away. 

Hug your memories tight to your heart.

xxoo

Dear Dick

I watched your video. Daniel's pictures gave me the chance to get to "know" him. What a beautiful young man. Very handsome. And that smile!! Truly heart warming. Thank you for sharing.

Dear Adrianne

It's so hard each and every minute of each and every day.

The "reminder days" are equally tough.

Thinking of you

xxoo

Dick, hugs to you...and hopefully, you'll get some from Daniel today.

It feels as though we get to "know" and love one another's children on this site. We ache for one another as well as ourselves. Thank God for each and every one of you!

Hugs and many prayers!

I know our sadness is contagious, but it's also a comfort.

Thank you to all who share their most personal pain.

We love our children so deeply.

This is the only place I feel comfortable.

This is the place where we can take off our mask.

Dear Dawn

It is hard to write and reply. I found it so hard to tell anyone how I was feeling. But I took the chance and it's helping.

There are no wrong words.

Your handsome young man with a beautiful smile.

It's good to see these pictures here.

This may bring a healing cry...it does for me whenever I listen to it.

"Homesick" by Mercy Me

http://youtu.be/JRPoJRm4hNg

Dick , am with you... am sure Daniel is also very much with you, surrounding you with his love.. 

Dawn, what a wonderful and such a handsome boy-- God really is choosing the very best for himself..

Love you Danny, Stephen  <3. lots of love to all

Hello to all.  Thinking of you today, as usual.  

As I've said before...Crying is good for us........

When too much pressure is put on the heart, tears are its safety valve. No matter how hard we try to control ourselves, sometimes there's just no stopping them. Though we may try to sandbag our emotions, sooner or later the wall breaks, and the tears come flooding through.

They may erupt when we hear a favorite song, smell a familiar cologne, or see a family picture and remember how much we miss our loved one. Tears are unpredictable. They may surface in the middle of the night, in the middle of the grocery store, or in the middle of a conversation. Sometimes they come for no apparent reason at all.

That's the mystery of grief: it's personal and unique. No two people grieve exactly the same way. But most (if not all) will say that the journey through the valley of tears is normal and necessary. So grab a Kleenex (or a box or two) and allow your tears to relieve the pressure from your hurting heart.

~ Kathy Wunneberg, Grieving the Loss of a Loved One

Teresa and Dick you are in my prayers. I'll light and extra candle tonight for your children

Hello all. I am still not able to navigate this site so well. i am trying to post a pic of Daniel. I get it on my page  and can't seem to figure out how to post from there so I wanted to share - I will try here again.

By the way I am such an animal lover and have 3 cats and one bossy little terrier mix dog. I lost my Burmese mix, Duplo 2 years ago. He was 12 and the best doggie ever. Then last year I lost my precious kitty Monkey Boy who was also 12 and Duplo's best friend. When I look at pictures of my son with these beautiful souls I can't believe they have all gone but I like to think of them all together now. And he's not an only child in heaven. I had two late miscarriages (both girls) and I just know they are together.  I find so much comfort in the animals I still have in my life. I am so grateful for them. Really so grateful.

Yeah I did it! There must be some of my brain left - really not so hard..

Aw

Love your picture, Connie.

Two best friends.

Great picture, Connie! I am completely with you on my love for animals. I have two insane canines that are probably part of the reason that I'm able to go on. I have had dogs all my life and a few cats and the comfort they bring is amazing. That first couple of weeks after Chris died, my little mutts were like Velcro. I hope they get to go to heaven, too, because I have some beloved pets waiting for me if they do.

Dawn, your son Stephan is such a handsome young man, and Connie, your son, Daniel is also.  It's sad to look at these beautiful children from all of you that have posted pictures.  Believing that they should be here and not being able to completely understand why they were taken.  Seems unreal and yet our children are only a speck of all the children lost as I see more every day.  Just beyond words/explanation.  Sending hugs of comfort and love to all.

Thanks guys. It is wonderful to be able to share precious memories with you. Ammy - I know it is mind boggling when you become conscious of the children dying every day. We just weren't part of the community before. We were the ones trying to keep thinking about that horrible possibility at bay. Now I have such empathy for those families whenever I read or hear of someone losing a child and try to reach out if I can. I'm so sad for all of us who have to live through this. I wish you all some peace tonight. (((  )))

Dear Marilyn

Another beautiful child with a beautiful smile. Thank you

I so agree with your suggestion of stories. I was thinking the same thing.

Loved your story.

This was Chris' senior photo. He had hair then!

Marilyn, the dog's name is Duplo. Daniel named him when he was 2years old after the toy Duplo (the bigger legos for little kids). I cannot even express how much that sweet doggie brought into our lives. We miss him terribly.

Thank you all for taking time to know my son a little. It means so much to be able to share his life with people that don't start acting uncomfortable about it. I really need to keep all of his memories alive and appreciate you all for caring. (( ))

Connie-- love Daniel... sending hugs n kisses to him and to you..

Before Danielle left for Heaven, she and I got matching tattoos.

M is for Mom

D is for Danielle

Michelle

What a handsome young man.

I see much wisdom in his eyes...........

And I got a feeling that came from you!

xxoo

I found this beautiful song on youtube

I have to share it with all of you

I hope this link works

If not search for Dani and Lizzy Dancing in the Sky on youtube

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNoLJy68ZcE

Let me know what you think.

I have played it over and over, cannot get it out of my mind.

Jane, I saw that video a week or 2 ago.  Someone posted it or sent it to me.  Can't remember.  Nice song but brings sadness for me.

Posting the lyrics from the web if anyone doesn't get all the words:

SONG LYRICS:
Dani and Lizzy - Dancing in the Sky

What does it look like in heaven
is it peaceful is it free like they say
does the sun shine bright forever
have your fears and your pain gone away

cause Here on earth it feels like everything.. good is missing, since you left and here on earth everything is different, there is an emptiness

oh I, I hope you're dancing in the sky
I hope you're singing in the angels's choir
I hope the angels, know what they have
I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived

So tell me what, do you do up in heaven
are your days filled with love and light
is there music? is there art and invention
tell me are you happy are you more alive

cause Here on earth it feels like everything.. good is missing, since you left and here on earth everything is different, there is an emptiness

Oh I, I hope you're dancing in the sky
I hope you're singing in the angels's choir
I hope the angels, know what they have
I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived

Michelle, he is still handsome without the hair.  I think in your pics I said I loved his smile in the one pic. 

I have been wanting to post my son's last pic that was taken the day before he left us, but it really does make me sad.  For me, there is kind of a story behind that picture and it's really not a picture but a snapshot taken from a video.  If I post it I will explain.

Okay, have to go.  Have to leave these thoughts.

Hugs to all.

I also feel a little guilt that I didn't take more of him with his daughter, but he was the one that usually had the camera in his hand.  :(  

Ammy I love this tattoo. I have been designing one for myself. One with a similar idea -initial making up pattern in butterfly wings. This one is awesome. Thanks for sharing. Jane I was the one who posted Dancing in the sky a couple of weeks ago. I absolutely love that song and Lizzy's voice. It does bring sadness because in strikes a heart chord. But I love these girls and their other music is great too. As sad as it is, I have learned to play and sing this song and I feel Daniel's spirit with me when I sing it.

Thank you, friends, for the kind comments about my son, Chris. He was a very brilliant young man--I sometimes wished he had been a bit more average; I think he would have had a happier life.

Regarding the tattoos: they're awesome! I wish I had the nerve to get one, but I think I'm getting too old for that. LOL.

LOL!

Through the photo's and the postings I feel like you and your children are becoming a part of me. 

Jane I agree with Marilyn your tat symbolizes "holding hands...forever...for eternity" with Danielle.

Marilyn even with Brandon's challenges you obviously assisted him with living his life to the fullest because his smile is so big you can see he loved his life and those around him.  

Michelle, it's nice to see Chris at different stages of his life. 

Connie that's a very nice picture, I swear even your dog is smiling. 

My profile picture is the last one I took of Michael. We were in London together visiting my daughter 3 months before he left to heaven.  It was the first trip he had taken with me since he was a teenager.  All the way home he kept telling me how great that was and then he would ask me where we were taking our next trip. 

Good Morning everyone!

How are you today?

Hi Jane,

Had gone out with a friend , after lunch was sitting in the cafe and then saw a boy near a bike , who from afar looked just like Shreyas... wasn't long b4 the tears flowed.. every time I go out i feel dysfunctional.. only at home i feel a semblance of normalcy.. driving , i put ion some music so I wouldn't have to think.. but  again, familiar places and thinking of the number of times my son drove me back home and me chatting non stop and him commenting with a 'mmmm or hmmm or yeah?' got to me.. felt the need for him to be sitting next to me and missed him so much....  this will never stop ... then how does one live? wish i had something more joyful to share... well other things are going on..looking fwd to Sept when I can be with a man whom i will marry soon, as he is coming to India...just wish I could share this with Micky too-- well, i do and talk to him every time and get answers too...well thats it-- hugs to all here 

• Good morning, Jane, Vasanthi, and everyone. Today is Friday, so that means my husband is coming home for the weekend. Looking forward to November in the sense that he'll be retired and can live here permanently, but also dreading Thanksgiving as that was the last time I saw Chris. This year is going by so quickly and it will soon be 5 months since Chris went to heaven. It's surreal. I hope that everyone has a peaceful day today filled with happy memories not sad ones. Sending love and prayers to all here.

Michelle, wish you a loving and peaceful weekend my dear.

Teresa, what a gift your trip with your son was. He's so very handsome. God Bless.