Paula I hope you got my note to you, and i hope it encourages you. God bless you DEE

Janis Shapiro,so grateful for your friendship. Our babies have a new body now with no handicapps. They are playing with our family that was waiting for them.Write me soon DEE

It's been a while since I have posted here. Welcome to all the new members, sorry you have need to be in this forum. It's been a little over 33 months since our son Chris lost his battle with non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He died the day before his 19th birthday. We miss him everyday, but we also go on with our lives. My wife and I were talking about this earlier today. In the beginning we spend every moment thinking about Chris. Now as we have gone further down the road of gried we don't spend every minute missing Chris, but we spend time everyday thinking about him, and sometimes the memories are plesant and we smile. Other times we think of the hard times when he was sick, and the courage that he showed dealing with his illness. In those times we cry and we allow ourselves to grieve. I hope that all of you find the support you need on this forum.
Rod

My son Marcus died April 15, 1999. It used to be that the pain would be crippling, now the pain is still there, but tempered at times. It can still come on unexpectedly and linger. You just never know. But, what I do know is that God is with me and cares for me. When President Obama signed the health care reform bill, I cried. I called my children and told them that no one else has to go through what we are going through. For those of you that do not know Marcus was 22 and he knew that something was wrong. Over the course of 2 or 3 months, he went to 3 different emergency rooms where he was turned away because he did not have medical insurance. He collapsed and his friends took him to another hospital where he died in a diabetic coma, not knowing that he had diabetes. I think about how the first 2 years I did not want to live, but thankfully I never sought it. God has blessed me beyound measure since then. In April, as God would have it, I won tickets to the Tom Joyner cruise. I won on April 15th, Marcus's death date. On April 6th, My 80 year old cousin won on Black America Web.com the Real Father's Real Men. I had submitted him back in January. He was given $1000.00 by the Tom Joyner Morning Show. Anyone can nominate a male that they believe exmplifies what a real father, real man is. Never give up!!! Keep praying, trusting God and helping the newly bereaved. I gave the tickets to my son Justin and his wife. They said that they had a ball. This was there first cruise. I had been trying since last year to win and God showed up and showed out. That day is also one of my granddaughters's birthday. Is God not amazing!!!

Yvonne,this world has gotten so money hungry, and hurting people dont matter.I pray for our government,and the people it has hurt.Most of all I pray for you,& all moms and dads who have lost part of your life, for God is our healer.

My daughter, Lyndsey died on July 18, 2010 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. She was 27 years old and left behind two children. In a blink of an eye, our world was turned upside down. I'm thankful that it was fast and she didn't linger. She wasn't in pain. I'm proud that she was a donor and her gift helped several people start a new life. I'm also thankful for the time we had together. She was my light, my baby girl and my best friend. I have good days and bad. Sometimes I still imagine I hear my phone going off with another text message from her! I ache for her babies and for her two brothers. It's just hard so hard to believe and accept. I have wonderful family and friends who are trying to help... but there's such an emptiness in my heart. Thanks for listening, Marcia

Okay I know all this stuff about grieving and I know we have to go on but I am angry. My brain wants to heal but my heart is so broke that I can hardly face another night of nightmares watching my son burn. I am envious of all of you. I want to feel secure that God will take care of things but I'm angry at him too because I have no one else to be angy with.I dont mean to be a downer but I just cant deny my anger and pain anymore. I thought I had this all under control and I really believed the pain would subside but today I am sad and confused and angry. Today the pain is unbearable. Someone please tell me that it will be okay.

Hello, Anne...it will be okay, really. These feelings/emotions will surface when you least expect them. I have come to believe I will feel this way the rest of my life. Most days I'm just okay and then I'm angry, confused, and my heart aches beyond words. I too am angry at God, asking Him why he took my daughter, my only child....the sadness paralyzes me at times. Today was one of those days. I understand when you say your brain wants to heal but your heart is so broke. We are changed forever when a child dies and I still don't know who I am anymore. Words and phrases of comfort do not exist for the depth of our grief. Hang in there....take care and know we are all here for each other. Sincerest regards, Laura

Dear Laura,
Thanks! I wish I could write all the fluffy stuff I am really no good to anybody and I am sorry. Your daughter is very beautiful and I wish it could be okay for all of us.

Today marks the third year of my son Bens death. I am angry, lost. and very sad.

Anne, so sorry ((( hugs ))) - Oct 19th will be 3 years since we lost Brad. I too am angry, lost, and just aching so deeply I do not know how I can still be breathing. No fluff here either.............

This past Wednesday marked the 9 month anniversary of my 9 year old daughter's passing. It tears me up to know that she's now been gone from me for the same amount of time that I kept her safe inside me xxx

Today it has been three months since my beautiful daughter Lyndsey died. On the one hand, it seems like it was yesterday... on the other hand it seems so much longer. I know she's no longer with us, but a part of me still can't quite believe it's real! Yesterday, my sister and I went to the cemetary with a bouquet of black and orange flowers. Lyndsey loved loved loved Halloween!!! I know she would love them, and I felt so good afterwards!!

I guess I have a small reason to be thankful (that is what I am struggling with today-remembering to find something positive in each day). The detective called a few days ago. They got the tox screen back on my son-he was negative for drugs and the alcohol level indicated maybe one or two drinks. They have ruled out murder, suicide, drugs and alcohol. So even though the ME has to list it as COD: Undetermined, I know that my son died a natural death. Don't get me wrong, this does not make him being dead "ok" but what it does is bring me a small measure of comfort to know that he did not do anything to contribute to his own death. It also tells me that it had to be natural causes which means that I didn't miss something-I could not have prevented his death-I am not guilty. That has been eating me inside out for the two months since we learned our only child was dead, found in the woods-alone. I thank God for this small measure of comfort.

Dear Anne, Thank you for saying your angry. When we try to stuff it inside it only makes us sick. Remember how Jesus said be child like, well all children get mad, when they have something they love taken away from them. Beat up a pillow, scream at God, or the moon in the sky, you have a right to be mad. Perhaps we should start a bitch forum, a place to write our anger, and let it out. I think everyone would understand.
Dear Sheryl, Lee am sure is proud of you.
Dear Sharon, thank you for sharing your report, I hear and understand why this was a small measure of comfort.

Thank all of you for sharing the fact that you are angry. I am so angry that if I tried to write it the folks managing this site would terminate me for the language and the craziness that would spew. I would join a bitch forum in a minute!! Does anyone else feel like there is a giant "mixer" inside them churning the guts and just leaving you nauseous. Even on what I call a good day I feel like I am on pins and needles and Xanax only made me "stupid" without easing the feelings. Anyone?

Sharon- you are not alone about the giant mixer! It has bee nearly 4 years since I lost my son. I am still having days of confusion, anger, depression and sometimes all of those at once. Some days I just want to turn into a ball and cry and others I feel ok then get mad at myself for feeling ok. Yeah I would join one of those gripe forums too!

Last week was 10 months since my daughter passed away and for myself it only seems to be getting worse, I miss her so much. It really sucks because I have to keep going because the world around us doesn't stop, I have to work make sure my son and wife are okay and bills are paid. It's good and its bad, work keeps me occupied and mind off of it sometimes but there are alot of morning that it is hard to get going. It does build up and when I do get a chance to grief it is so bad and could cry for hours. Her 19th birthday is next week and 2 days after Christmas it will be a year, this is goign to be the hardest to get through.

I feel so bad for my wife, I know it is different for a mother and have no idea the pain and suffering she is feeling.. She is so strong when i am around but can only imagine what she feels when i am at work and son is at school. She isnt working which only makes it worse. She never griefs in front of me so I don't know what to say or do...this is so hard.

Sorry just venting a bit.

That is what this page is for Ken - we all understand (hug to you & your family) from ours. So sorry about your daughter - I relate to what you are saying, only my husband goes off to work & I am at home. we just hit the 3year mark - which I still do not believe- I just cant except this. Life hurts so much now.

*** NOTE TO THE GROUP *** Please keep in mind everyone- That we all have a right to our beliefs - Spiritual etc... It is wonderful if you have kept your faith through your loss- But- not everyone has- & if you preach you can be pushing the people away that may just need understanding the most. We as parents are all suffering the worst lost ever & have a right to grieve & reach out to others that understand without a preaching reply. ( We can go to clergy if we want that) You may be trying to help but- that is not always the case.

Saturday will be 8 weeks since my son passed away. I hate the way I feel everyday. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this. Robby was the youngest of 5. He was only 15 years old. I know my other children are hurting and I don't know how to help them. I feel like I can barely take care of myself. My other children all live outside the house and I live alone. I think about Robby every second of the day. I have done a lot of reading on the death of a child and I have went to some support groups but most meet once a month and that doesn't seem often enough. The thought of the holidays coming is horrible.

Hi Denise-I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel about the upcoming holidays. Gary and I spent every spare moment together during this time of the year and, like you, I am feeling that same thought about how horrible this can be. I tried to start some Christmas shopping yesterday and I know people in JCPenney's were wondering about the crazy lady talking to herself and crying about nothing. I wish I had words of wisdom that could make this better for you but I don't. I just hope that it helps some to know that there are folks out there who care about what you are feeling and truly understand because they are there with you. My only child was found on August 23 and I understand what you mean about how you feel and hating it. I will keep you in my prayers that you may find some comfort and peace. Sharon

Dear Karen you are so wise about the religious thing. Thank you for being brave enough to speak about itin this way. While reading your note to everyone I felt a connection with you. I woud like to be friends with you if you want to.

Dear Denise. I too have other children and the best thing I could think of in terms of helping them was to remind them of how much I love them too and that they are and always will be as important to me as their brothers. A mothers love is unique and unmeasureable and losing their sibling never stops the love a mother feels for those left behind.

Karen,
I am sorry if I have offended anyone with my belief that God has helped me through this very tough time. I understand if some people don't feel the same. I thought then that it would be good to start a group that would welcome a Christian atmosphere. Without God I would not have made it this far. While Brittainy was dieing I prayed healing scriptures over her, sure that God would heal her. When she died I didn't understand how He could do this when my belief was so strong. After I got her autopsy report I understood why. If she would have survived she would have been severely brain damaged, she would also have severe lung problems since they were so damaged. Thus she would have required round the clock care and would not have had a quality life. It would have been torture for her. I realized then that I was being selfish to want her to be here with me. In reality God did heal her, just not in the way that I had prayed for.

I hope that this story helps some of those who are having trouble with their belief in God right now in this troubled time. We don't always see the reason. A lot of times it is really beyond our comprehension and not really for us to understand, I guess that is what makes it faith. You are believing without really knowing or understanding, but you know there is a reason deep down in your heart.

I welcome any and all people to the group I started. It's called Loss of a child: In memory of my son or daughter. Any and everyone is welcome despite your beliefs.

I pray for everyone here to have peace in their life, and that God will Bless you and reveal to you what you need for that peace. May God Bless you and your families, Gyla

Gyla,
This group welcomes all beliefs & the doubting as well, my note to the group was a reminder so that all feel welcome here. We are all hurting so deeply & want to help each other because we do not want anyone to feel as bad as we do. The note was so that we all just think about that before advising - That maybe some just want a place to vent, or really say how they feel without feeling like they have to put that strong mask of I am okay on as we are expected to do out in the world. To be understood by others who do understand because they are living it too. We get a big variety of emotion's as well as beliefs & just to be-careful so all feel welcome here.

It is wonderful your faith has helped you. Sharing your story about it is a great way to express yourself.
That is not what my "note to group meant" referred to But, a reminder to be careful in responses as it can push people away that may need help as well.

I have been a bit distant from the group lately because I do have doubts & wish so much I did not. I hurt with all of you so deeply but, I am in a place that is not good & I just feel I do not have much to offer. I created this group because I felt too preached at in another group (I knew they were only trying to help) but- for me the constant god god god made me pull farther from my beliefs and I doubted even more. I just dont want others to feel that way here.

Gyla,I am so glad for you opening a line to talk about God has helped me through losing my Jamie.I raised my chiildren in ch. when they were sm. My God helped bring Jamie through sever seizures, that dr. said he should have died fron. He was born with cerebral palsey and was not suppose to live past 15, but with My Gods help and lots of prayers he made it to 38. Drs. said that he wound not get through grade school let alone to ever graduate high school.But he did graduate high school plus 3 yrs. of Bible College and became an ordained minister, preached 4 different churches , and made a tape ministery. He had a badharsh cough and was suppose to preach a new ch that Sun, But Fri. night he took the cough syrup with codene and had a fatel reaction after he went to bed. When I went to wake him up Sat. morning,He was blue allover and he had already gone to be with Jesus.At that moment my world ended.Because I had made him my world.But his world was built in his love of God and he shared his life with everyone he met.There were over 250 people at his funeral, alot I didn't even know but they knew him. If it hadn't been for my belief in my God I would not be able to make it this far.I have started helping United Cerabral Palsey and Easterseals that helped him when he was little, to walk and talk.They had a Walk-A-Thon last week in his name and we raised over 30,000 dollars. I plan to write a book on his life about how he acheived SO much in his life, that he was not suppose to do , only with Gods Grace. I pray for people who know God . And I pray for you that he will give you his peace ..May God Bless you all.. n Dee

Dee, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my Gary two months ago at age 38. He had different demons than your Jamie, demons that he was never quite able to overcome. He was found dead on the side of a mountain and had been gone about two months when they found him. He was my only child and with him died whatever future I had. The only thing that allows me to put one foot in front of the other is knowing that Gary had a relationship with God and knew Jesus as his saviour. I know that I will see him again. For a while I questioned God as to why he saved me from cancer last year to let me go through this-still don't understand and guess I never will. Pastor tells me that there is a purpose that God has for me, that there is someone out there who will need my strength for whatever they are about to go through. I selfishly contend that I thought I already had a strong testimony having survived metastatic ovarian cancer, but God isn't done with me yet, I guess. I pray now for peace because I know understanding isn't mine to have. I would have liked to have know your son, he must have been a wonderful person. I know he must have had a wonderful example, in his mother. God can and will get us through this-the work has already been done, all we have to do is ask. When I feel the devil tugging at me and whispering in my ear, I recite the 23rd Psalm-it helps. I will pray for you to have peace and to be strong in your new testimony and your work with UCP and Easter Seals. Much love and hugs to you, Sharon

Sharon, Thank you and God bless you for youheart felt letter. There is a gospel song ( If You Only Knew ) It talks about how wonderful Heaven is , and that if we on earth really knew how it really is , that we would not cry so much for our lost ones. It is a great song, but IT makes me cry some, cause I, his mom and I still want him bk. Also I read thebook ( 90 minutes In Heaven ) About this pastor died in a bad wreack, went to heaven for 90 min. and seen for hisself how beautiful it was, Then because another Pastor had been praying for him, even tho the EMT told him he was dead , God brought him bk. It will touch your heart deep down. Hope you and anyone else out there can get it .It helped me. Nothing will take all our pain away. May God Give You All His Peace Dee

Dee,
I think that your son was truly Blessed with such a wonderful life. Even though most of us would think of his illness as a debilitating illness, he made it past that. He became a servant to God and obviously touched many people's lives. What can be more Blessed than that. Just know that even though he is not here anymore, his work is still in motion. That is a very powerful thing that most of us (who are healthy) never accomplish in our lifetime.
I am glad that you are writing a book about his life, I think it can be very empowering and encouraging to everyone, and God meant for you to communicate this to the world.
I feel very Blessed to get to write to someone who has the faith in her hands like you do. Trust me there are times when my faith weakens, because I still don't quite understand why my daughter had to leave this earth so early. Like I said before, it is not always for us to understand or to question. The thing is God didn't take my child's life, it came from the mistake of man. A lot of times the reason is easier to see than other times, like in the instance of your son. He had a reaction to a medicine, it was not from the cause of someone else. So that would be harder I think for me to understand, but in my heart I would feel that God felt he had done what he needed for this world and it was time for your son to have complete healing and rest. He had earned it, and had done a great deed by spreading God's Word.
Many Blessings and prayers to you Dee, Gyla

Karen,
I understand what you are feeling right now. Don't think that I don't have my days of doubt as well. That is expected. I just wanted to tell my story as to why I refer to God so much and to also let anyone know that if I am in any way giving words that are unwelcome, by all means let me know. I have no problem with that.
That is why I started the other group where people could go to get that atmosphere if they needed it and wasn't getting it.
I hope that you understand and I wasn't offended or hurt by any of it. I just felt that it would be good to have both groups. I enjoy talking to everyone. It has seemed to help me tremendously, inside, to know that I am not the only one feeling the things that I feel inside.
Thanks for helping me to see both sides. Gyla

Sending everyone love, hugs, n strength thru the holidays <3

has anyone else here lost a young child to murder or lost a young child?

Hey Jennifer,
Yes I have. My son was burned to death at the age of 12. He died 12 years ago. I am here if you need to talk or ask questions. I also lost my oldest son to a car accident 3 years ago. I guess you could say I know alittle bit about loss.

To everyone who is missing someone you love this holiday season. I wish you Peace Love and Understanding. Sometimes the holidays are the worst. I have a couple of tips that help me get through. One is to remember the good stuff as best as I can. The second is I buy a special toy for two children I don't know in memory of my sons. One day at a time.

When a child passes it is like a pre judgment day. Going over all the things we should have done, and barely seeing what we did do. We are so hard on our selfs.  We also are faced with pondering what we believe about why we are here and what happens when we die. So many people walk through the world not even wondering about these thoughts. They can seem very blessed. However everyone sooner or later will face loss.

The answers we find during grief, come from diving deep in to the dark . We do this in order find the light. The answers will not be the same for everyone, but what you find true for you is The truth for you,  your wisdom. If you are confused about your answers, there is a golden question which tells you if you are listening to the right voice. Ask does this come from love or fear, if from love then you are on the right path. 

Christmas is or should be all about love. Giving love or like Anne said buying presents in honor of your child to someone in need will make you feel better. Writing your child a Christmas letter is another  idea which is very helpful. I heard of a women you has done this for years, and now is able to see through her letters all the gifts her childs passing has given her.  I send all of you love, I know the pain, and I look, listen for the love. May the season have some joy for you, Coach Louise 

Greetings Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss. I could feel your pain through your words. Once again, I am sorry that you have lost your baby. I lost my 21yr old son, it doesn't matter how old they are. It goes against the natural order of things for mothers to bury their child. This site will provide you with alot of support and you will NEVER be judged.

I believe my boys are in heaven and I believe they can feel my love. I want them to be proud of me and I know that someday we will be together. I want their lives to not be lived and died in vain. I will stay on this earth so my boys dont have to worry about me. I will make the best of it so that all my children know what an important gift life is. I;m sure this is what they would want for me.

Indeed are children are in heaven, and they do feel our love.

My Caden's Birthday is coming up in less then 2 weeks and then the following month it will be 2 yrs since he was killed,the closer it gets to both dates the more it hurts,i havent been able to sleep with out taking a pill and dont even want to get up in the morning..Instead of planning a my son's 4th bday party ill be lightning a candle for him..life is so unfair

Greetings Katie......so sorry for your loss. My son's birthday was this past Feb 19th, he passed away almost 16 months ago. I am still in just as much pain as I was when I was told that there was nothing else they could do for my son. I bought his favorite icecream cake and baked him his favorite homemade cake nd our family, including aunts/uncles, cousins and a few of his closest friends all came over to help me celebrate his life. I don't think I would have gotten through that day if I didn't get that support. I am so angry every morning that I wake and realize that I am facing another morning without my son being around or not hearing his voice........boy, did I take for granted that my son would always be around and live to be old. I could have never imagined he would be robbed of his young life at only 21yrs old! It really doesn't matter how old your child is when you lose them.....no parent would ever choose to bury their child.  Helping me celebrate my son's life was very important and comforting to me...........I am angry at the world for "going on" WITHOUT my son.........it's very important for me to be reassured that my son is NOT forgotten by his family and friends.  I say it over and over again.......my son is so much more than a "memory", he's my son and will alwyas be my son......he is not in the past tense to me. My pain is unmeasurable and never ending. At his birthday celebration, everyone told a funny story about him or imitated the one dance he always did. I played his favorite artists music.....Michael jackson and Bob Marley.

You are NOT alone........Karen R. 

On August 5,2010, a man aimed his car at my 19 year old daughter Jessica as she was crossing the street. He was going 45mph when he hit her and never stopped, She weighed 93 pounds. He broke almost every bone in her body. She died two days later from head and chest trauma. She was supposed to have gotten married on Valentines day. I miss her so much and don't undertand why he did that to her, he didn't even know her.

Joan,  I am so so sorry.    That is so awful     ((( tight understanding hugs )))

Greetings Joan, once again , sorry to hear about your loss that we all on this site can understand........unfortunately. Always willing to listen. I lost my son 16 months ago and I still feel like it  just happened today. My sadness has NOT lessoned one bit, I feel like it never will.

Greetings...Joan I know how you are feeling my 16yo daughter Taylor was walking on a country road with her friend and was hit from behind. The accident happened on Oct 30th 2010 and passed away Nov 1st 2010...due to severe head trauma...she was best friend and a most talented photographer at such a young age too. I miss my baby every second of every day...I still haven't returned to work as it is too hard to do anything...the pain has not subsided and some days I am so freaking angry at the driver...he also wasn't charged by the police as he claimed he couldn't see which is total BS as we have driven on this road numerous times...and the 2 girls were walking toward a street light so they were well lit up...I miss her...I miss everything about her...we were extremely close...I know my sadness will NEVER subside...I miss her...

My daughter is pregnant and wants to name her daughter after her sister, Jessica. There is a part of me that is touched by this and understand that she wants to honor her sisters memory by naming her daughter after her. I'm afraid that having my granddaughter named after the daughter I lost may be more painful than comforting to me. Does anyone have any insight on this?

Joan:  I named my daughter after both of my sisters who died when they were 13 and 16 in a auto accident like my son did this past november my mother had alreday pasted when i had my daughter but I knew the name since I was alittle girl both of my parents was glad of the names and my father thanked me when she was born it didn't take her place but it let her memory stay alive by my daughter name brenda marie my sisters names was brenda kay and wilma marie, just my insite to your comment, hope it helps a little

I recieved a card in the mail from a woman named Kelly. She is a wife and a mother to a young child. She was blessed enough to recieve one of Jessica's kidneys. She wrote to thank us for thinking of others during the most painful time in our life. She also told us how sick she was up until the transplant and how much better she felt even one month after the transplant. My family and I know she will never forget the gift my daughter gave her and will make the most of all the time left that our gift has given her.It was a reminder that She went out of this world a hero.

This poem was given to me a little after my son was murdered in May 2010.  It was like it came from him just for me & it really did help a little.  I hope it can help someone here.  God Bless.  A little long but well worth it.

 

             To My Dear Family

Some things I'd like to say,

But first of all to let you know

That I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from Heaven

Where I dwell with God above,

Where there's no more tears or sadness

There is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy

Just because I'm out of sight,

Remember that I'm with you

Every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you

When my life on Earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me

And He said I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again

You were missed while you were gone,

As for your dearest family

They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly

As part of My big plan,

There's so much that we have to do

To help our mortal man.

Then God gave me a list of things

He wished for me to do,

And foremost on that list of mine

Is to watch and care for you.

And I will be beside you

Every day and week and year,

And when you're sad I'm standing there

To wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night

The days chores put to flight,

God and I are closest to you

In the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on Earth

And all those loving years,

Because you're only human

They are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry

It does relieve the pain,

Remember there would be no flowers

Unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you

Of all that God has planned,

But if I were to tell you

You wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain

Though my life on Earth is o're,

I am closer to you now

Than I ever was before.

And to my very many friends

Trust God knows what is best,

I'm still not far away from you

I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead of you

And many hills to climb,

But together we can do it

Taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy

And I'd like it for you, too,

That as you give unto the world

So the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody

Who is in sorrow or in pain,

Then you can say to God at night

My day was not in vain.

And now I am contented

That my life it was worthwhile,

Knowing as I passed along the way

I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody

Who is down and feeling low,

Just lend a hand to pick him up

As on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street

And you've got me on your mind,

I'm walking in your footsteps

Only half a step behind.

And when you feel the gentle breeze

Or the wind upon your face,

That's me giving you a great big hug

Or just a soft embrace.

And when it's time for you to go

From that body to be free,

Remember you're not going

You are coming here to me.

And I will always love you

From that land way up above,

Will be in touch again soon

P.S. God sends his love.

 

Today is a hard day. It's been 9 months since Jessica was killed and I still find it hard to tell people that didn't know she was killed about it. It brings the pain back and I die a little more inside.