Trudy I am so sorry to hear that you have so many losses to deal with. What pain you must be feeling. How long ago did your sons die? Your husband? With so much grief to deal with, I doubt you will ever be able to tell who your heart is breaking for. I'm glad you found this group, it's a wonderful place to just let your feelings out. You have an awful hard week or so ahead of you. Know that there are many of us out here that are grieving with you and know a little of what your going through. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts. (((((((hugs))))))))

Thank you so much Katherine. Your kind words are appreciated. It has been 21 yrs. since my son committed suicide and 10 since my other son was murdered and 9 since my husband died. I lost our beloved pet in December and am now totally alone. She was 14-1/2 yrs. old and like the end of having anyone with me. Feel so selfish for feeling sorry for myself but I do. I've had counseling of several years and have tried everything. It just seems to get harder. Feb. 2nd my younger son was found murdered that morning. Feb. 8th my eldest son commited suicide and his birthday is Feb. 6th. This is a big load for anyone to handle so there haven't been many conversations with friends. I like your cowboy hat Katherine.

Hi Trudy and welcome to the group no-one wants to belong to. Firstly let me say how sorry I am for your losses - I cannot imagine the pain of losing two children, life deals us some cruel blows. I'm also sorry for the loss of your husband and your pet - I know that animals are sometimes a very strong link to those we have lost and that their loss can bring back so much of the pain we thought was dealt with. Don't feel selfish for feeling sorry for yourself - my goodness, if we didn't.. who would?? We've been through hell and back and we entitled to feel bad sometimes. Time eases the pain but very now and again it all comes rushing back doesn't it. Katherine is right in saying what a nice group this is - so please feel comfortable to write in and have a rant and rave whenever you need to. We understand your pain and there are no fingers pointed here, February is going to be such a hard month for you - please know that we'll keep you in our hearts and prayers - you're not alone. Take care xx

You can't imagine how good this makes me feel Gail. All I can say is "Just so glad to be here". Where have you guys been all my griefing life. Right now I'm in pain but I also want to be there for everyone else when they go through they're pain. Maybe by helping someone else I'll understand my own grief. Thank you and everyone else.

Trudy, so glad this has helped you some - I was so lucky to find a wonderful bereavement group shortly after Meshael died and they've helped me get this far. I do think that we gain strength and understanding in trying to help others go through this journey - certainly for me, the confirmations that I wasn't alone in my thoughts was a tremendous help. Looking forward to getting to know you and your loved ones. Hugs Gail x

Trudy, as you should know by now, time may soften the pain but it will always be there and at times it feels like those days just happened. You have dealt with some unbeleiveable losses. You are a strong person even when you don't feel like one. Before I found my grief groups I felt like I was the only one to lose a child. Now I have all of you to help me get through the bad days and you have us. We are alway here to listen, just write. Like Gail said we are looking forward to getting to know you and your family. Hang in there. ((((hugs)))) Katherine

Love <3 to all of you !!!

I don’t what category I belong in, I know I miss my son, but my loss isn’t a grieving of death loss, it’s a grieving of the living loss. You see, I am grieving over the loss of my son and my grandchildren although they are still of this world. The relationship with our daughter in law of 11 years had been somewhat uncomfortable and even stressed at times through the years over different life viewpoints but we felt if we just stayed focused and remembered what was really important – our complete family, we could rise above what ever was going on at that time and come and stay together as a family. We weren’t going to loose our son and consequently our 6 grandchildren, but in the end, after all the ground work we put down over the years, that’s what happened anyway. Their financial situation mandated the necessity of them all 8 of them moving in with us which we gladly did to help out. Our daughter in law didn’t see it that way; she would have preferred a sizable loan rather than move in with “his” parents. To make a long story short, it didn’t go well; she was unsocial and made it clear she did not want to be here, my son soon lost temp his job, after that, he stayed up all night like she did-he, her and their 3 year old slept all day until the other kids came home from school, then the kids were made to stay back in the bedroom with them until dinner, kitchen cleaned up and back to the bedroom. With the tension that was mounting it was inevitable that an argument or two was to erupt. Mind you, no major arguments had ever occurred with our son and us over the years, we have been asked to understand he needs his space, no contact is acceptable. So as I said, I am grieving over the loss of my living son and grandchildren. I am sorry if this sounds to some of you that this is so frivolous because he is still on this earth, but knowing what I do, of the environment that he lives in, I feel this is final. Believe me, I have tried to tell myself, this too shall pass, so my heart aches less and my mind worries less. But with the controlling we saw with my own eyes in our home, I know in my heart, it will not pass in a very long time, if ever. Simple things can bring on a flood of tears – like just recently, St. Patrick’s Day…our son always fixed a beautiful cornbeef, cabbage carrots and potatoes dinner every St. Pat’s holiday weekend or as close as schedules allowed … he’s a wonderful cook and now for the first time I’m trying to put this together for my husband with as much skill and pride as our son did and I just kept crying through the whole process, trying so hard not to miss him and his wonderful smile and the laughter and joy the kids brought to this monumental Irish event. Someday I hope some sense can be made of all this pain, but I guess, the Lord hasn't yet let me see why this is happening. Thank you for allowing me to share. God Bless.

Hi Racer Girl :o)
I am so sorry that your son and daughter in law are such a selfish pair, I could almost understand their own need to isolate themselves but to isolate your Grandchildren from you- in your own house is completely heartless.
And no, it doesn't sound frivilous to me. Of course this must be incredibly upsetting for you and your husband.
All I can tell you is this - my parents were similar to your son/dil in as much as they too had to fall back on their parent for help. They didn't like it and felt that any help either set of parents gave was interference.
Funnily enough, my parents had 6 children too! My mother hated both her mother and my Dad's mother with a passion.
However, as a kid I LOVED my Grandparents and spent as much time as I possibly could with them. And, once I had left home at 16 I spent even more time with them. My Nanna was just the most important person ever in my life. My advice to you would be to concentrate on letting those little kids know that you will always be there for them and how much you love them and would like them to be part of your life.
You don't say how old the children are - I'm guessing from what you say that none of them are much more than ten years old?? Do you get any time with them at all before they're whisked off to sit in the bedroom??
It certainly sounds very unhealthy for a three year old to be sleeping all day!
Sweetie - you and your husband are saints for allowing this selfish pair to walk all over you like this. Perhaps your son has a reason for being this way but he should be putting that aside to allow his kids to grow in a happy family environment.
The older his children are, the more they will resent the 'life-style' their parents are forcing on them and they will turn to you and your husband. And that is something I KNOW!
I'm so sorry for this awful situation - it must be so difficult for you both to live like this.
God bless
Gail x

Hi Gail, Thank you for all your kindness and support. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, they don’t live here anymore, they moved a year ago after a long four month stay to one of the sunshine states but now the grieving just seems too much at time especially now that we have been told no contact. At first, we tried very hard to stay in contact with our son after the move; emails went unanswered, voicemails went unanswered, all grandchildren’s birthday cards and checks sent went unacknowledged by the children and parents (other than a our cashed checked we received from the bank). We did receive a phone call from our son in March of last year to “slap” our hands for not saying goodbye to his wife (you know, the one who hated and detested us). We reminded him that we were approachable when the time came to say our goodbyes and she chose to not join the group while we were all saying goodbye to each other. The grandchildren range from late teens all the way down to 10 months old (born after they moved) and the children are not permitted to contact our at all. As far as the older ones are concerned, their online friend sites and emails are strongly monitored by their mother.
And to answer your question- before they were whisked off to the room down the hall, very little to no time was allowed (no matter how much we begged). It was so overwhelming sad and the children pretty much took things in stride… little good soldiers about the whole thing, almost like it wasn’t something new to them – maybe even their normal lifestyle before moving in with us. There were even times when went to use the restroom, that a couple more daring of the children would sneak very quickly down the hall and grab a quick hug and I love you. My husband and I felt helpless with this entire situation. I know for myself, there were many times during their 4 month stay, that I felt like a prisoner in my own home and because I didn’t want anymore wrath forced upon me even more that dil was so good at dishing out and our son encouraged her behavior more by saying nothing, sad but true…the Princess ruled my own home during her stay because I was weak.
Our hope is someday, as the children grow up and gain independence from their parents, that maybe it will be important to them to have us in their lives – but until then, I am overwhelmed with such sadness because of the loss and hurt I feel from this horrible situation. We were and still are good parents and wonderful grandparents, in my head I know that, but when you go through something like this, you begin to question so much of yourself and the whys that never ends inside your head. I had to finally take down my son’s and my grandchildren’s pictures because it just hurt too much, maybe someday…I will be strong enough to look at them with feeling so much pain. I miss my son, 31 years ago I gave birth to him after 22 hours of intense labor and didn’t even have the luxury of seeing him until he was 10 days old because my fever was too high and they said I couldn’t be near him. We took our commitment of parenthood very seriously...we believed that if you played and worked together, you would always be together. I now know this isn't true-it takes one person or situation to change all of that. Thank you.

hello im a 43 yr old mother of four livng children they are here with e but not my tow oldest girls are with thier dad who was found guilty of child abuse but still yet gained full custadoy my sec marriage lost two more right after they found out i lost the first two have no conatc with any of them tell they find me my first ex has rerally hurt me and my parents i had supervised visits still and still do but to no avil lost my mom two yrs ago never got to say bye to her grandkids either ill write more later thnk u all for letting me share

Racer Girl~ as a grandparent you have a legal right to see your grandchildren. I know it can be expensive because you will need to hire a lawyer in the state you live as well as the one where your grandchildren live. But you can bring a grievement before the courts asking them to mandate a visitation right for you and your grandchildren. You can even make in mandatory that it be your son who makes sure that the children are available for you to pick up. (Thus killing two birds -- you get to see your son and your grandchildren) I know a great number of people do not like to bring law decrees before their children but sometimes it is necessary to make them wake up and smell the coffee. It is at least worthwhile to check out. Also if you have visitation rights you can also petition the courts to mandate you be able to contact the children's school to verify their acedemic structures. This would give you another avenue in which to stay in contact with them. I hope this helps. You have my prayers. ~Ann

The anniversary date of my daughter's death is May 25th. At my most recent visit with my psychiatrist he asked how I would "handle" the upcoming anniversary. I thought for a moment and replied "everyday is May 25th for me..."
Most painful for me is April 15-19. She lived in Alaska, I in Texas. We met in Las Vegas for some "girl" time. We had so much fun! We shared a room and were together the whole time. Dining, gambling, shopping...I treated her to the Ray Romano show and she laughed the entire show. I remember looking at her most of the time thinking "this is my child, God I love her". I remember our last morning together at the airport. Her flight left before mine. I hugged her twice, inhaling the scent of her freshly washed hair. I kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear "love you, kiddo" and she whispered in mine "love you too, mom".

Laura,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU for continuing to write on this site! I come and go with checking in and have not made an entry in months now. Still the feelings are so much a part of my days; so when I read your entry from yesterday it stopped me in my tracks. YES, every day is May 25th! Dear God, how powerful that statement is! For me every day is February 2nd. I have felt that so many times but did not have the words to express it - until now. Thank you. Let me also say that when my February 2nd came I needed this site and the input from this group...and you were there. You and Gail. I hope that you know that people are thinking about you and praying for you during this difficult time.
Today is the 15th, and this is "crunch time" for you. You will be in my thoughts during these next several days.

It was just one month before my daughter Callie died that my wife and I went to visit her and her new baby in Colorado Springs. Her husband was in Iraq and we wanted to see her after the Christmas holidays. We had such a good time. It was as though life was more in focus than ever. Callie was doing better than she had in years - she had direction and purpose. It was the most special 4 days in our life by far. If I could only go back to that time I would give anything.

So that is my painful time, and I know that you are going into your painful time right now. But dont stop writing. And dont stop checking this site. We need you.
Blessings, Allan Conkling

Allan, thank you for your prayers and beautiful thoughts. While the pain we feel is indescribable your posting made me cry...a happy cry. When I first found this website I read postings that many times put my feelings into words. It allowed me to realize my grief was absolutely normal and more importantly, that I was not alone. It made my heart feel good to know I was able to help you put what you are feeling into words.
Like you, I would do/give anything to turn back the clock. If you have not read the book titled "The Shack" by William Paul Young please consider doing so. I truly believe my healing process began when I finished this book.
I will say a prayer for Callie.

Take care,
Laura

Thinking of all of you & Sending you all LOVE & HUGS -
Forgive me for not writing too often - I am in a really bad place & don't see me being helpful.

my daughters killer was given 2 life sentences. we are in fla for trial. going to watch him go to prison were my brothers are. im not sure but he killed their neice. hmmm wonder how his day will be going!

Honoring Mothers in Grief on Mother's Day
Written by Clara Hinton | May 04, 2003

Mother's Day originated as a way of bringing honor and recognition to all mothers. Over the years, Mother's Day has evolved into one of the most cherished and most celebrated days of the year. For the mother who has experienced the loss of a child, though, Mother's Day is often a day of many tears and feelings of deep heartache. Friends and family members are left wondering how to help a grieving mother face Mother's Day without her child.

Because Mother's Day has turned into a time of traditions such as mother/daughter banquets, the wearing of flower corsages, and eating a special meal out following a special Mother's Day church service, it is difficult for family members and friends to know how to include a grieving mother in the special traditions of the day. Sadly, because people don't know what to do or say to a mother whose child has died, they often do what is easiest-they say and do nothing.

There is no greater heartbreak known to a mother than for Mother's Day to arrive without recognition and validation of being a mother to the deceased child. To be overlooked on Mother's Day is to add a burden of extra grief to an already broken heart.

Every mother longs to have her child validated. Every mother longs to hear the sweetest name on this earth-the name of her child who has died. Every mother has the need to feel that she is included among those who are honored by wearing the most coveted name among women-"mother. "

Recognition does not need to be elaborate or expensive. Often, just a card with the sincere words, "I'm thinking of you on this Mother's Day" can help lift a mother's broken heart and dry some of her tears of grief and sorrow.

What can you do to help? Deliver a flower in memory of the deceased child. Prepare a small gift basket and fill it with a writing journal, a book of hopeful thoughts, some special perfume, and a candle to be used for burning in memory of the child. Insert a card that says, "To a Heavenly Mother," or use words from your heart that express special meaning. This is a warm, sincere way of saying, "You are a very special mother, and I want to honor you as such."

Send a floral arrangement with a helium balloon. The balloon can be used on Mother's Day as a "letting go" of some of the grief. Often, something as simplistic as a small angel pin placed inside a card that says, "I'm thinking of you today" is enough to give a grieving mother the strength to get through this most difficult day.

Mother's Day is a most difficult day for any mother to face without her child. More than anything she needs listening ears. Allow the grieving mother to talk as much as she wants about her child. Ask her if she wants to talk. Spend some time with her and lend her your listening ears. Mothers love to share experiences and feelings about their children, even when a child is no longer alive. A friend or family member who listens is truly a treasure.

Help lighten the load of grief by helping a mother who has lost a child feel special on Mother's Day. Find your unique way of communicating to a mother in grief that she still deserves honor and special recognition on Mother's Day. She is, after all, a mother to be honored.

(c) Clara Hinton
Author - Silent Grief

Hi everyone- I always find mothers day to be a joyous occasion and then a sad one. I think about my daughters and miss them so much. I remember my first mothers day. It was awful I had a baby but I could not hold her because she died. I saw other people celebrating and I jut wanted to hide in my room. My other mothers days have been okay. I have my son and he makes everything worth it. I am so glad my little oops is here!!

This is the hardest month of the year for me. First it has Mother's Day, then my son's birthday and then we have Memorial Day weekend and he was a military death. The hard thing is that no one really knows what to say and I dont know how to really make it easier for them. I dont even know how to make it easier for me. Love does not die, so I dont expect that things will change all that much until we are all face to face with my son again.

((( Hugs Everyone )))

Hi, I could use your support and feedback on my free teleseminar
LET - LOVE- LIVE

9 Keys to Having An Invisible Relationship

FREE Teleseminar Hosted by Coach Louise Rouse

Join me for a revealing 3-Part Teleseminar Series

Tuesday, May 25 - Wednesday, May 26, and Thursday, May 27, 2010

5pm Pacific, 8pm Eastern

Learn how to embody your grief in a healthy and conscious way.
http://americasgriefcoach.com/LetLoveLiveTeleseminar.html

It has been just over two years since my son 22 died of a heart attack. What I am sharing is what has helped me, my way of playing it forward. Thank you, and I send you my love

There are no words
only endless tears
to describe this
very, very sad year.

May 25th
two thousand and nine
is the day you died
leaving us all behind.

We’ll never know
what happened that day
but in the blink of an eye
you were taken away.

Hearts were shattered
on that day but
hard earned angel wings
came your way.

Watch over us my princess,
my perfect child,
my daughter, my friend,
with that gorgeous smile.

You are dearly missed
and deeply loved
this will never change
but only grow stronger.

that is so pretty Laura hits close to home i am coming up on the one year mark 6-30 dont know how ill make it through. I wish you peace on this very terrible anniversary. Peace that only God can give You are in my prayers and thoughts today. I think the one year mark is going to be harder than all the holidays combined. I truley dread it. I wish you the best Laura

Thank you Melissa...to be honest the few days before leading up to today were especially painful. I think it's because those were the final days of her life and of course, how could anyone know this? I am especially grateful for your thoughts and prayers today.

Candle.gif
Laura - oh hugs to you my dear, I know that sometimes the days leading up to our Angelversaries are harder than the day itself.
I'm thinking of you and will light a candle in your daughters memory

I would love to have you join me on this grief class, tonight
*******************
CALL #1
DATE & TIME: Tuesday, May 25th at 5:00pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast)
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Gail, I love the term'Angelversaries'. Great new word..thank you.

Jenine I so agree with you great new word. Laura, thank you for your beautiful, touching poem from the deepest part of your heart. It has only been a little over a two years ago since my angelversarie. I remember I made these homemade organic baskets to float down the river with his ashes and rose petals. But on the day I totally forgot them as my mind returned into the state of shock that I had been in when he first passed. I send you my love and my prayers.

Sheryl, Is that your son on the wakeboard, my son was a wakeboarder, so this photo moves me, Louise

I could use your advice and help. As a life coach with a successful practice before my son passed over, I coached myself in getting back into the game of life and changed my practice from thoughtbuster.com to americasgriefcoach.com to help others in grief, a kind of play it forward thing. But I am wondering now if this was a good idea. For me , yes, I have the passion, tools and compassion, however do you think people would even like grief coaching? What would help you in your grief? The last thing I would want to do is try to market you, I am one of you. But I need your advice, please help me, as this is the way I move forward in the world, it is my path, and I feel stuck. Thank you, I send you love, Louise

That is my son in the wakeboard picture - sounds like our boys had a lot in common. <3

Yes they even look a little bit like each-other. Where did he wake-board at? did he go any events or camps?

On Memorial Day, we take time to remember all of the soldiers that died so that we can have our freedom.

The following quotes sum up for me the real importance of Memorial Day.

-------------
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." - General George S. Patton

"And they who for their country die shall fill an honored grave, for glory lights the soldier's tomb, and beauty weeps the brave." - Joseph Drake

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell

Hi Louise - I'm Gail, Meshael's Mum, and I've been on this horrible journey for 9 years in June. One thing I can share with you is that people have to move on in their own time. For some, grief counselling may be the first thing that comes to mind but for many many others they find the idea of talking out their innermost fears and thoughts undaunting and quite scary. In my experience I've found that groups - such as this one, or another Yahoo group that I've run for many years, are the easiest, most anonymous (to start) and the most comforting. Somehow the companionship and understanding of other people who really know what you're going through is much easier to deal with. Over time, these groups change and people come and go but there are a core of people whom I now call real friends who truly understand and care. If you would like to make initial personal contact with others then TCF is the best group to go to. They have meetings all around the country (world) and you could probably find people there who would be interested in receiving more help. But, as a grief counsellor and bereaved Mum you must know that we have to take one day at a time - so don't expect people to rush to sign up. I had awonderful counsellor who helped me before and after my little girl died - I felt comfortable talking to him because we had developed a relationship and therefore I didn't feel (as many do) that they were pouring out their hearts to a stranger. Don't give up on your chosen life path - it is a good one and you can help many people because of your own personal experiences. Good luck :o)

An afterthought: This is actually a foolish and wrong quote, because how could one not mourn the loss of a great man or woman.
I was feeling so great- full for them serving their country that I looked for quotes and these were the first I saw, the last line is what touched my heart.
"It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived." - General George S. Patton, This

Gail, Thank you for your supportive and kind words, Louise

I'll bet you've had about enough of people telling you how strong you are and how great you're doing during this awful, difficult period in your life.

Maybe you'd rather hear someone say how much this sucks, how outrageous and unfair it is.

Maybe you'd rather hear someone tell you that you don't have to be strong all the time.

Or that it's definitely okay to curse fate and throw a tantrum or two.

So here I am telling you all that stuff and more, to let you know where I stand, which is right in your corner.

There's no right way or wrong way at a time like this.

However you work through this thing is immaterial to me.

All I care about is that you ask for what you need, lean on those who love you, and try to trust me when I say that you'll come out the other side.

Written by Jeannie Hund

I started this group needing people who understand me & found you. I thank all of you for being friends. And I ache with all of you that you do know & understand me. I needed a place to be real for lack of better words.. & vent my anger & frustration... yet I have pulled away for fear that many of you are lucky enough to have faith intact & I would never want to hurt you by not feeling the same. So I stay quietly in the back ground aching for & with you. If any of you are as lost as I am & need someone to talk to contact me directly please. (( HUGS to ALL )) - Karen

I am sorry I have not been on since I joined. I have been so busy. Funny how staying busy doesn't lessen the grief. Weird that people say that to comfort us.

Well I tried to post my story but Safari had other ideas. Shut down suddenly when I was 500+ words into my story. I need to rest and dry the tears before I try again. ttyl all and remember....................breathe.

Hello, Its been awhile, u now how some say to keep busy and your mind will stay busy. Well i've been busy, But, my mind is still the same and i miss my son every day. I pray for day i can huge him again. Staying busy just keeps the mind happy for awhile but the heart still achs. I pray for your peice as well as mine.
Love Ya
Wendy

Guys - what can I tell you - I've been keeping myself busy for nine years but as Wendy says, you can keep your mind happy for a while but your heart never stops aching.
Karen - this is exactly the place to be venting your anger and don't worry about shattering our faith - I'm pretty sure each one of feels that too. I always try to stay positive but sometimes its just so damn hard! If you ever want to chat off group just email me hun!!
Sending hugs to each of us tonight
Gail xx

I don't know how I was could wake up another day, with out having an invisible relationship with my son. Even so I slide up and down the emotional journey of missing his physical being which was so alive in my world. I can only touch the past for brief time. If I stay there it leads me to deep pain. It is hard to digest loss, my digestion has not been the same since. However when I spend time bridging our new relationship, it has given me so many little gifts. Like having a relationship with God you have to trust it. It does just not happen because you say you believe, you have to spend time nurturing it. Like the way prayer has the ability to opens doors. Paying attention to the signs of nature, your dreams, a song on the radio, will open the pathway for your new relationship. All relationships take time to build. I could be just fooling myself this is true, however it feels better than giving up to loss until I die. Maybe this is my way of staying busy. I share my journey with you to offer you hope, no judgment, that is the last thing we need. may you all know I send you my love, and hope you will be able to be as free in expressing with me,your journey. There is no right and wrong, we are simply all learning from eachother. I send you hugs, Louise

Karen -- as Gail said we all need to vent our anger sometimes. For me today is one of those days. I was talking with a friend who innocently said (I hope innocently any way) that I should be getting back to my old self by now. (I was having one of my crying because I miss my son days). I was so astounded I just looked at her and walked off. Then my poor husband catches the wrath when I get home from work and he says I look tired. Boy talk about a bummer day........ well, anyway thanks for letting me rant today. I hope tomorrow will be better. {{{HUGS TO ALL}}}

Hello Everyone...it's been awhile since I have posted my thoughts as I have been trying to put some of them into perspective. It has been just over a year since my daughter Angela died and find myself wondering how it is I have not lost my sanity. My grief has been woven into my daily thoughts, my daily living. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is "she's really gone". Or "my daughter is dead". Or "why did she have to die". Or "what really happened that day"....I could go on and on. These thoughts are with me all day long until I fall asleep and then the cycle continues. These "thoughts" do not interfere with my daily life...they are my life. While I function day to day these thoughts are always present, just like the air we breath. They do not consume me but always floating around in my head...I can be carrying on a conversation with someone but somewhere in my head I am very aware of those thoughts/questions but am fully engrossed in the conversation! Like my brain has created this small room within itself to specifically deal with the loss of my daughter. Weird, I know...
Take care, everyone, and know that without this group my grieving process would be a thousand times more difficult to endure.
Warmest Regards,
Laura

This is only natural, it is too big to process all at once, which is why they call this time the dark night of the soul. This is not weird what you are feeling, or thinking, your daily thoughts. Oh, if only we could go back in time is the direction I wanted to go in, however, I have found the light in the dark, I think you will to. Keep sharing your feelings, you have to heal in order to heal. Coach Louise

dee my name is paula i lost my son in 09 he was 29, i too have always been looking for some one to talk to . i need a friend to feel close to that like the others in group know, but i have always thought i needed more of aone on one i know how you feel, my pyaters are with you paula

hi dee, i;m jan. i lost my 12 year old daughter Jessy, 2 years ago. she also had Cerebral Palsy. i know i know i promise you i know. please write me. you can also find me on facebook at: janice damelin shapiro. lots of love and strength