I lost my only brother, my only sibling,4/14/23. I am the sole survivor of my family of origin. Our father passed away in 2010 and our mother passed away in 2020 (non-covid related), I am grateful that my brother was able to help me grieve those losses, I am really struggling as to how I grieve his loss without him. I am “only” 52 and to think of the rest of my life without anyone left who remembers me as a baby, or the stories we shared with and without our parents, to not have one of the 3 left if I need to talk, need help, or guidance or just to share joy with anymore. Not many people truly understand where I am coming from, because most people my age still may have both parents, or 1 parent, all of their siblings or some of their siblings. There’s just some solace even as a 52 year old woman to know there was one person on the planet that knew my back-story and would always have my back no matter what, in a way only a parent or sibling can. Sometimes when I think about the gravity of this loss, the pain and loneliness take my breath away. Most of the information I can find on-line is geared to elderly people who have lost their last sibling. I haven’t been able to find much coping info on mid-lifers or younger who find themselves as the “last ‘man’ standing” of their family of origin, so to speak. I hope more people will join that I can connect with, no one really understands what this is like.
Thank you,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is, I am sure, very raw as it is very early days still. When I lost my sister, I read somewhere that when you lose a sibling, you lose your past and your future. Your sibling is the one that knew everything before and, in the usual stream of things, would know everything after as your grow older together so it is really a double whammy. Although I still have my parents and we are very close, if you ever need to reach out and chat, please do. The grief journey is complex and a real rollercoaster, as I am sure you know. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. Take good care. X
Thank you so much Nicky, that is a perfect way to put it, "you lose you past and your future". You hit the nail on the head. I appreciate your reaching and may take you up on reaching out when I need to. Thank you for responding. I really appreciate it.
Erin
Thank you,
Erin
Apr 24, 2023
Nicky Hutcheson
Hi Erin
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is, I am sure, very raw as it is very early days still. When I lost my sister, I read somewhere that when you lose a sibling, you lose your past and your future. Your sibling is the one that knew everything before and, in the usual stream of things, would know everything after as your grow older together so it is really a double whammy. Although I still have my parents and we are very close, if you ever need to reach out and chat, please do. The grief journey is complex and a real rollercoaster, as I am sure you know. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. Take good care. X
Apr 25, 2023
Erin
Thank you so much Nicky, that is a perfect way to put it, "you lose you past and your future". You hit the nail on the head. I appreciate your reaching and may take you up on reaching out when I need to. Thank you for responding. I really appreciate it.
Erin
Apr 25, 2023