Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
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  • Lenny

    Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim
    I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to be coping . I was at work a few days ago happily busy with clients. Then as my client left I heard a conversation with co-workers in the office . They where lightheartedly discussing their teenage children getting drivers licenses and the nervousness of parents at this time. One said;
    " they all have to have an accident to learn a lesson, they don't get hurt ". Well I felt sick to my stomach and tears welled. This was another conversation I had to run from . Who am I to bring horror and fear to these other parents who don't need it at this time. It was an innocent comment by a coworker , however as many of us have lost children in car accidents or otherwise suddenly and know the absolute horror . Everyday is a battle to keep our heads above the rising water isn't it. It's really soothing to have a place to talk to others who understand our unique horrific pain. Not a place we ever thought we would be . I appreciate all your honesty.
  • catherine bailey

    It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post.  Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other.  Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.  But Saturday is my birthday, and Sunday will be Mother's Day here in the UK.  My own mother is still alive, so I have to give her a card, etc - but standing in the shop choosing one is so hard to do because I'm so aware I will never receive one again.  Sometimes I get cross with myself, because all these feelings are selfish - the most terrible thing is that Scott lost probably 60 years of his life, and it's about that, not about me.  As I said, today has been okay, but tomorrow may not be.  I am determined not to be defined by the loss of my son, but it's hard to know where to go from here.  One thing I know for sure is that he would have been distraught to know that I am so bereft, so I am trying to be positive for his sake, and to try to have some sort of future that he would have been happy for me to have.  It's so hard though - god bless you all.

  • Sanju Rao

    Is there a support group for survivors of the loss of an only child which meets online? Please help