I am new to this group I never wanted to join and am hoping someone has some insight on how to live each day without the love of their life. I’m a very recent (1/10/18) 37 year old widow. My husband and I only married 19 months before. I’m six months pregnant with our first child and I have no idea how I am going to do this without him. We have dreamed of having children together and we’re over the moon about her existence. My husband was 47, this was his first child too. I was working the day he passed in a tragic house fire that also claimed not just our entire house and life contents but our dog and cat as well. I can’t stop shaking the feeling if I had been there I could have changed the events and he would still be with me and our daughter. We had been talking earlier that day and it was a happy day. He had just learned he got tickets to the Pats playoff game! A few people have mentioned about dating in the future which I am not ready for and feel like I would never be ready to do. I waited 33 years to find the man I wanted to marry and we were just so silly and happy together. I feel like I was robbed of lifetime happiness, my lover, best friend and everyday life. I also feel like our daughter got the most raw deal as she will never meet her dad who was obsessed with her from the minute we found out I was pregnant. I also feel like I will never be ready to go back to work despite the fact my entire hospital community is behind me but I work in trauma and I suffered such a trauma in my own life I don’t know that I can care effectively for that population.