(Silas with his sisters Dec. 2007)

IN MEMORY OF MY SON, SILAS “SY” RIVER BENNETT

OCTOBER 5, 1978 ~ MAY 27, 2008

"When you are going through hell, keep going." Silas read this on the inside of an iced tea lid shortly after his diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer that had spread to his spine, in early October of 2007. That same day he told me, "It's going to be okay, mom." Diagnosed just four days before his 29^th birthday, Silas was laying the groundwork for how he would deal with having the rug pulled out from under him at a time when he was preparing to jump off into the world as a journalist.  Silas was a fighter, battling his cancer with tenacity, humor, and a fierce passion for life.  He raged against the cancer, yet somehow found a way to keep it from poisoning his ability to look to the future.  My son died on May 27, 2008, less than 8 months following his diagnosis.  During those months he endured brutal chemotherapy treatments, two surgeries, radiation, a clinical trial, and more pain than any human being should ever have to suffer.  I cannot say that Silas "lost his battle" as I know in my heart that wherever he is, he carries forward in true warrior spirit. I brought my son into this world, and I was at his side when he took his last breath; without doubt my life is forever changed. However, that is not what I choose to share today. Instead, I want to remember how passionately my son cared for other human beings, how he was never too sick or tired or even delirious to help someone who was down on their luck, or to thank someone for something as simple as holding an elevator door so that we could squeeze him & his wheelchair in. He took time to share himself in a way that was generous yet humble. Silas was not perfect, but he was real with who he was. When he was sick, he didn't always make the decisions others around him would have preferred; sometimes he insisted on leaving the hospital before doctors wanted him to so that he could go home to his own bed, or refused pain medication because he wanted to be present rather than pain-free. I admired that about him. I grew to respect the stubbornness that I used to think of as one of his more challenging qualities at times. It had found a place with cancer, let the beast know what it was up against. Silas did not back down, did not give in. There are people who have asked, "Wouldn't it have been easier on you if he accepted the fact that he wasn't getting better?" To those people I must say, it wasn't about me. It was about respecting and acknowledging who my son was, and what he was about. The love and enjoyment Silas brought to life, his ability to feel the terror of bad news yet find something delightful to laugh about a day later, and the persistence to carry forward even during the darkest of times. The inner strength Silas gathered to carry on with mind over body astounds me to this day. I am certain it kept him here with us longer than what should have been physically possible. And for that I will be forever grateful. Lorraine (Sy's Mom always)