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Permalink Reply by roxydee on July 21, 2010 at 4:21pm

There are moments even after the first year passed - and i know that isn't the whole of grieving - you grieve as along as it takes - but I like to think that there is a veil between us, me and my husband - that he's on the otherside and he can hear me and see me but he can't contact me except when I am really still and quiet. the first year of grieving was about trying to not have moments of quiet , because i knew whenever i was, i would feel everything like gangbusters all on top of me, drowning me. so it became this dance of nimbly sidestepping grief only to have it block me and blindside me and the rollercoaster ride seemed nonstop. so now i try to stop dodging it and take it and feel it.
the thing is, there isn't an end per se. there is just more acceptance but a significant day or anniversary comes round and suddenly its almost as fresh as the first day.

know that grieving is a process. it takes as long as you need and more time after that. some day food will have a taste. some day you'll be able to listen to songs you listened to together and it won't make you feel like smashing into a wall. and then the next 2 times you will smash the wall when you hear it. try to be good to you even if you feel guilt. and let go. let go of control. let go of ideas about how to be. let go and let it flow.

your loved one is worth the grief. your inner child deserves to grieve. grieve and miss your spouse (loved one) in the unique fashion that is you.

Permalink Reply by Kelley Carlee on August 7, 2010 at 7:22pm

I have know idea but if you figure it out please let me know. I feel so broken inside. I guess we are supposed to put on our big person pants and go on. No one in my life ever told me that something could be so painful and difficult. Even if they would have told me I wouldn't have believed them. I know one thing is we all have to stick together and give a shoulder or take a shoulder when necessary. Good luck in your journey.

Permalink Reply by dianne Ribbentrop on October 29, 2010 at 4:27pm

Jeff Takes time they tell me I understand what you are feeling I too lost my best pal- husband- lover- support system - my all . He saved me at age 20 when my life was in turmoil Loved each other 46 yrs
I Miss him every day- night of my life. Music love songs- pictures just kill me I can not look at them
Someday maybe but not now . I wish you all the best for your aching heart and hope you can somehow find
PEACE TAKE CARE