It will be two years May 11th, 2011 since I lost my husband. I relate so much to the shares here. Every tiny corner of my life has been hit like a freight train ran over it. I relate a lot to Roxy and the sharing there. I have a lot of trouble with drawing and not knowing who I am or where I belong any more! He was my strenght, the reason I lived.I have not figured out how to live with out him. So, I hide from life.How do you move forward and deal with this on a daily basis. I don't believe he would want me to go on this way. I know if it were reversed, I would want him to have a good and happy life.

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You sound exactly like me but it has not even been a year yet. I am so totaaly lost and lonely. I love you so much Jason... as the tears start flowing now....

I am so sorry we are in this club none of us wanted. You are in my thoughts. Write me if you would like. Mary

Thanks Mary, sometimes I drain all my energy with the "what if's" I am glad I have a job to give me some routine. I forget about the pain there by helping others.

there is a lot of resource, it may be to soon. I lost a lot of my family. I lost 6 close family in 10 mos in 2001 and early 2002. That hurt me so much. Nothing like losing my husband. I try to think of what I would like him to do to get by without me. I have several grief books. There is one that shares to get a big teddy bear or stuffed animal and put some of your loved ones clothes on the bear etc. I did that.My husband wore sleevless t-shirts in the winter. I had some that still had his smell in a good way on them. I dressed that Teddy in one of those t-shirts. I cut down my husband's favorite tie and put it on my teddy.That teddy gets a lot of hugs. And a lot of tears. I have another part of that t-shirt under his pillow sometimes I just bury my face in it and cry. It is pain like no other!

 

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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