I don't know where to start :  the first time 20 years ago when I lost my 19 year old son in a car accident

or                                            Christmas Morning of 2011 when I lost my beautiful 31 year old daughter, my best friend and Mother of my 9 year old grandson to an asthma attack.   

I was feeling the pain of that special number "20" years gone and "40" years old,  it seemed to hurt more than when those numbers were just 19 and 39,  I felt myself getting depressed and went to the doctor for help.  The medicine didn't even get a chance to start working when WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas morning my daughter , the love of my life, left us,

I am aching in every fiber of my being and don't know what to do,   I know time  time, time!!!

But what do you do in the meantime.   My mind won't stop spinning and I miss her so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!