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If Only You Knew My Daughter Lisa...

Hello Everyone..

I am fairly new to this group so I thought I would tell you a bit about my amazing daughter LIsa.

We lost Lisa on November 5, 2010. That was the day the angels cried when they heard the news.

Lisa was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. But they caught is soon and she had surgery to have the lump removed followed by chemo and radiation. She was given a good bill of health. Then in December of 2008 the cancer returned this time spreading throughout her body. Her lungs, liver, bones, brain, eye and back. She was given a prognosis of two years. She remained positive and strong during those two years, never once complaining, never once feeling sorry for herself. She decided to make the most of the time she had left and her foremost thoughts were for her son Luke and her husband Steve. She wanted to prepare them for what would happen after she was gone,. She made so many beautiful memories of family vacations and just making every moment count. During the last three weeks I spent with her, she grew weaker and weaker and finally it was painful to watch my beautiful daughter fade away. I was by her side the night she passed on and it was the darkest moment of my life.

Her son Luke who is eight misses him Mom terribly. Her husband finds each day as hard as the one before it. We all are devastated that she is gone and I find it hard to believe that I will never again get to hold her and hug her and tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of the woman she was. She was my world, my daughter and my best friend. I don't know how my life will continue without her. Most days I cry and can't do anything else. It's been over three months now and I still find the pain so unbearable at times. I feel empty inside. I joined this group to hear what others have to say and how they deal with the death of a daughter. I miss her so much.

When people say time will heal the pain, I just listen and feel even more pain. I know they mean well, but they really don't understand how losing a child can affect every part of your life. You don't want to laugh any more ....I know I feel guilty if I start to enjoy anything. I know she would want me to be happy and move forward but I can't let go. It's almost like the pain is comfort to me.

When will I come to terms with losing my daughter Lisa.

I wrote a poem for her which I would like to share.

IF Only You Knew My Daughter Lisa.