Every day it gets closer to x-mas the more I miss my Caden, I cant sleep right,i keep blaming myself and telling him im sorry all the time..My heart is breaking,my youngest is a spitting image of him and the weird thing is they have different dads..He looks so much like Caden,he does alot of things that caden used to do,he has almost the same medical condition that caden had, and he knows who caden is even though i was only 5 weeks along..He smiles and laughs at the pictures, he knows thats his brother..My sister in law moved into the apt, that i had,i lived there for 12 yrs,my daughter and other son grew up there,caden grew up there but when he was murdered in that apt a part of me had to leave but now i regret it,i know that my son's spirit is there b/c i feel him when im there and im not the only 1 who feels him there..I just wish he was here, if i would never left him alone with that bastard he would still be here..here is a pic of caden and a pic of cristian