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Permalink Reply by Grace on October 12, 2011 at 2:41pm

Cindy ... I am so sorry you are having the 1st Anniversary .... I looked at the Photos of Paul.... what a handsome young man!

It has been more than 2 years since I lost my 14 year old son...  I still have crazy dreams that he is still alive and somehow I search for him like he is lost... I read so many of us mother posts mention all of us searching... for this lost child.   Our minds still can not wrap around this loss... I don't think it ever does. Sometimes I think it is how our brain protects us from experiencing all this raw pain.   We pretend it is not real.... we are mistaken... it is a bad dream.

My son was an organ donor and I was in the hospital when they told me he was officially dead... but he looked the same.  My mind has the imaginations that I still see him alive.. even after he was at the funeral home and I saw his body.... I still have my imagination run wild.

I guess my point is that I think we all can relate to your feelings.... even at more than 2 years out.  And every date or holiday is sometimes hard to live through.   Hugs and understanding