Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dee Davis on November 17, 2010 at 3:42pm

Fred, there is No way to get Over it. We have to find a way to get THROUGH it and stay sane. My Jamie went to bed Sept 4th 09 and woke up with Jesus. Sept 5th 09 10;am my world ended. He was my life.He out lived what the Drs said he would do ( die befor he was 15yrs old because he was born with cerabral palsey ) They said he wouldn't graduate school / He not only graduated high school, but went on to 3yrs of Bible College, became an ordained minister, preached 4 different churches, made a tapr ministery ,and touched the lives of everyone he met.He had come down with a bad cold, with bad cough and Dr. gave him cough syrup with codene, and he had a fatel reaction. We had his whole life of ministery planned out. It was so hard for me not to blame God. It took me alot of counseling, journaling,praying, non ending crying, screaming, . My mind will never be right again. My heart will Always ache for him.But until god takes me home, I have to find a way to go on. I have 2 other children( older son and daughter )They have their own lives.Jamie lived with me.He was 38 when he left me. I am grateful that at least he acheived his goal in life,( being ordained ) An I will see him again in heaven.But it doesn't stop the pain now, but helps alittle. Fred , all I can say is fo me prayers helped some. I alsohelp do fundraisers for United Cerabral Palsey ( the group that helped him so much in early part of his life to help him walk and talk.This way I feel I'm still doing good for other children with CP in Jamies name. He was well known for his big smile, so I crocheted bright yellow smiley faces and give one to everyone I meet and tell them it is Jamies smile, and that lightens my heart, and its my way of never letting people forget him. I'll say a special prayer for you Fred and ask God to give you some peace, that I pray for myself and everyone going thro our pain. God Bless You Dee

Permalink Reply by cindy parrott on November 17, 2010 at 6:26pm

i can't give you any advice on how to go on. i lost my son just a little over a month ago and sometimes the pain is so intense i don't think i can bear it. i too have other children but they live a long way from me. my faith has been put to the test and i try to pray but sometimes the prayers don't come. i don't know why it is me that has to go through this... i wouldn't wish this on anyone.
i know this probably doesn't help you but i will keep you in my thoughts. know that there are people out here that know exactly the kind of pain you are in.

Permalink Reply by fred upton on November 17, 2010 at 11:00pm

thank you

Permalink Reply by Sharon Reynolds on November 18, 2010 at 7:21am

Fred, I am so sorry for your loss, and for Jessica's loss-it is a cruel twist when we lose a child. It doesn't matter how many children you have, to lose one changes your life forever. I lost my only child August 23, 2010, that's when his body was found. We don't know how he died, or exactly when, he had been missing for two months before his body was found in the woods. It looked like he just went to sleep. He was 38. I don't think we ever get over a loss like this-we can only get through it and pray to God that he sends us peace. I don't pray for acceptance because I will never accept that my precious baby is gone from me. People who have never experienced this gut wrenching loss will never be able to understand what and how we feel and they need to understand that there is no expiration date on grief.

I have talked to the psychiatrist I work for and he and my Oncologist put me on an antidepressant which has helped my overall mood. I don't know if this is an option for you or not, and I certainly would not tell you this is what you should do. I'm just telling you something that has helped me to at least feel a little better. I still have all my emotions and cry at the drop of a hat-medication hasn't dulled that. I want and need these emotions, it's the only thing that lets me know I am still alive.

Please know that my heart weeps for you and your loss.
Sharon

Permalink Reply by Joan Hardin on March 15, 2011 at 1:34pm

I doubt I will ever get over this. I will never get over losing Jessica. I don't know how to get over the fact that I will never hear her voice again or see her smile. I feel like her sisters and I have been cheated out of seeing her get married, and having kids. My granddaughter Serenity will never know how amazing she is, Both my daughters are pregnant and they will never meet her. Some days the pain is bearable, but most days the pain is so bad that i can hardly stand it.