Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Monica Green on August 14, 2011 at 6:29pm

Wow.....I could have written this exact same thing at our 4 month mark.  My little man gained his angel wings almost 9 months ago.  I have no words but what to tell you is that your way of thinking is very normal.  The 'just existing' is exactly what I was doing.  I did hit a rock bottom at one time.  Since then I am now seeing a counselor and I actually look forward to my visits.  I believe the Lord led me to him or him to me because I was/am not a very big talker.  Take your time with your feelings and remember that Kasey is watching over you now.  I know what you might be thinking....blah blah blah blah blah.

I use to and still do feel the same way.  One bereaved mom told me this is the worst club to every be in.  Well, we are here, like it or not.  What would Kasey want you to do if you were able to talk to her right now?   I read this post and felt every bit of this note.  It sucks.  In a perfect world we would still be together.  What is our purpose now?  Idk....but I am still searching for an answer.  Some say you may not ever know why this happened and that is ok.  But, I am on a mission to find out what my purpose is now.  My son taught me so much.  (he was special needs)  The complete love and innocence that poured out of him I inhaled.  My little man is with me I know.  Its the physical touch, the hugs, the perfect smiles we won't see again until God is ready for us to be together again.  Believe me, I can only talk like this now because of how far down I got before, I believe....my son intervened...and guided me to help.  I still cry for him.  I still question why God had to take my son.  I still wonder why we couldn't have just gone together.  I am so sorry for your loss.

Monica

 

Permalink Reply by cindy parrott on August 14, 2011 at 6:48pm

I lost my son 10/11/10. i'm so tired of going on. my daughter that i have left informed my today that i'm not her family anymore and she never wants to speak to me again. my husband just doesn't understand, he wasn't in my son's life for very long. i know how you feel.

 

Permalink Reply by Ammy on August 15, 2011 at 1:30pm

I just had 13 months yesterday Sandra and I understand how you feel.  On many days I still feel as you are feeling.  I still hurt and want to die myself, but it has not been as bad as it was in the beginning.  It is such a slow recovering process that it will probably never be finished, but you do have healing.  Believe what Chris wrote in her comment.  We are all in this together.  That is one of the things that helps me.  Knowing I am not alone and reading the comments.  Otherwise I would probably believe that I am just plain crazy, and some days I feel as though I am going crazy.  One hour, one day...get through it...that is what I constantly tell myself.  I hope and pray that today will be one of those days that is a little less painful for you.  Hugs.

Permalink Reply by Sandra LaBonte on August 16, 2011 at 9:28pm

Thank you all for taking the time to reach out to me. It does help. Cindy I'm sorry you have the extra burden of having issues with your daughter. I hope you can work it out.

Permalink Reply by Patti Meadows on September 26, 2011 at 11:55am

Hi Kasey, I just saw your post and realize that now it has been 5 months, and everything is still so raw and fresh...Please let me tell & encourage you...YES IT WILL GET BETTER....You will always miss them, but don't wait as long as I did to turn around.  I was so angry and I saw You stated that you want to rip your sin off....I felt EXACTLY the same way.  My son Matt, went to heaven June 28, 2006 due to a car crash.  He is my youngest of 3 sons.  I have a son Philip 37 , Joe 32, and Matt (Who is now 31 in Heaven)...  Please know Your loved one is fine in heaven...once I got that in my head, then I just had to deal with my missing him.  But I know without a shadow of a doubt he would not rather be here than heaven, (although I would love for him to still be here)...I have come to realize that The Lord did not do this to me...God hates death, He sent His son to save us from eternal death..just think one day we will be reunited with them forever....In the meantime I realize that Jesus mourns with me, loves with me, and will equip me to make it.  I love my son so much and I want to make him proud with however long the Lord gives me here on earth.  Again, it is still so raw still just ask the Lord to be with you and HE WILL CARRY YOU.

I am praying for You...Patti (Matt's Mom)