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i lossed my mom and need friends

hi im christine my mom died on april 9th of a pulmonary embolism at her house. i wasnt there when she died see i live in another state . she abandon me when i was 8 and wasnt in my life much for the past 31 years she was very adusive to me. part of me hate her for thatd and part of me loves her because she was my mother.im need friends i can do this alone im sad and depressed and miss her so much my heart is broken

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Keri Adams on March 9, 2015 at 11:55am

Christine,

Life is messy. You can love someone even if they are extremely flawed. It's ok to love her and be angry with her at the same time. Whatever you feel is valid. Don't question yourself. Allow yourself the anger along with the grief.

I lost my mother in October. Part of me is SO angry with her. Her unhealthy lifestyle ultimately killed her. I'm so angry that even when the affects of her actions became apparent, she still did nothing to change. She knew she was killing herself and not in the "I know this is bad for me and may affect me in the future." way, but in the "This is killing me now" way.

It's ok to feel whatever you feel.

Message me if you need someone to talk to.

Permalink Reply by charity wolf on May 20, 2015 at 2:00pm

Hi Christine:)

I am sorry for your complicated hurt. Mother daughter relationships are complex. I too have a lot of conflict around my relationship with my Mama and her death. I guess what I keep reminding myself is that love is all there is. You loved your Mama and she loved you. That is all that matters after all is said and done...sending you a hug

Permalink Reply by Ahmed selim jouhar on August 18, 2015 at 2:31pm