So I lost my mum to cancer.  We only found out that she was sick in July 09 and then she died in Feb 10.

I've found it really difficult to just get  through the day.  A few months after mum died, my boss fired me, going to work had been my only reason for getting out of bed, so for a few months after that I just didn't.  It came to six months in and I still felt broken but I could see that everyone just expected me to be over it.  So I started to just pretend I was.  If I try and talk about how I feel people just seem to brush me off or change the subject.  The few that I try and really talk to tell me that my emotion is to intense for them that they can't handle it so I just stopped trying to even talk about it.

I'm so tired so pretending and I miss my mum so much.

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Lesley-

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  My Moma passed of a massive heart attack almost 9 months ago.  We had no idea that she had any heart problems.  She thought her ulcer was acting up.  I understand how you feel.  I am totally devasted by the loss of my Moma.  She was my mother, mentor, best friend, counselor, etc.  People act like I should have moved on by now.  It's just not that easy.  Please don't keep your feelings inside.  I have done a lot of that and I have been diagnosed w/ anxiety disorder, depression and post traumatic stress.  It does so much damage to keep things bottled up.  Please know that there are people here in this community to listen and help as much as they can!!!  God Bless You.

I know sweetie; we can never move on; I think its just a cliche. I lost my mom one week ago, for the last month I thought she's going to make it, I also thought she may not but it happened and I'm just competely devastated. All I can think of is I want to be with my momma. I feel so lost, depressed and alone. The last month was a blurr; I was always thinking about mom and praying for her up to three hours a day. I cannot accept that she's gone. I feel so, so lost. I may loose my job since I'm underperforming. I don't feel motivated to do anything at all. I have an 18 month old who needs me, but sometimes I can't be there for her either. Don't know what to do. I'm so sorry.

Dear Lesley,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom a year ago tomorrow (also to cancer, she was 62, I am 25) and it hasn't gotten any easier. I have been reading a book called "Healing through the Dark Emotions" by Miriam Greenspan and have found it very helpful in working through how I am feeling. It also makes me feel less alone because all the people who think you should be over it really don't know what it means to lose someone like your mom and my mom. Don't feel guilty about your emotions, it's so unhealthy to suppress them and it will make things so much worse in the long run. I had to leave work today because I couldn't stop crying, but when I get through difficult times and spend time indulging my emotions and thoughts about my mom the ache and pain of it all feels a bit lighter and that dark fog of depression doesn't linger around constantly. The only way out is through.

 

hugs,


Caitlin

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