Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Trina Mamoon on April 22, 2017 at 1:47am

Dear Maxey,

Reading your post made my heart ache. As you note, birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays add another layer of pain and yearning to the suffering we face everyday. It was my husband's birthday last month, so I know very well how you dreaded facing this day and how the day was spent: in tears and in laying in bed most of the day. What torture this is! Losing a beloved spouse is such an irreparable loss, one that others who have not faced it don't understand.

For me it's been more than two and a half years since Joseph died, and not a day goes by when I don't feel deep sadness and pain that he is forever gone. So I understand your anguish and empathize with the thought that this day is ending soon.

Hang in there and take comfort in the happy memories that you shared. Let those memories give you strength and help bring some peace.

Sending you thoughts of healing and peace. Hugs, Trina 

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on April 22, 2017 at 12:27pm

Maxey,

I cry for my Husband everyday and he has been gone 4 years. He was my everything and now I am nothing just waiting to join home.

Linda

Permalink Reply by M Adams on April 23, 2017 at 12:10pm

Thanks for talking about birthdays, Maxey -- my husband's birthday is coming in a few weeks, the first since he died, and it is so much on my mind. Earlier I thought that would be the time for a memorial gathering but I still can't face that kind of activity. I have a photo of him from last birthday in the living room and a smaller copy by the bed...they are comforting, beautiful and full of life. although also in a way that is painful. I am okay with being sad -- as the months go by I find it less acceptable to show it as I can see that it is a great burden to those around me, and I do think my brain is recovering some equilibrium which lets me behave a bit more normally. I'm sure my husband would be glad about that, as he was very compassionate and considerate of other people's feelings. I would like to do something on his birthday to honour him -- he was such a celebrater and always called his birthday Richard's Resurrection. Yet I can't find it in myself to do celebratory or even social things. Maybe I will plant something on that day. Sorry for rambling -- your post touched on something that is so meaningful, though I guess the issues these special days on the calendar raise for the bereaved have no one-size-fits-all solution.