Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by bluebird on May 15, 2015 at 11:47pm

Sara,
You are not alone. I'm sorry this is happening to you, too. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Permalink Reply by morgan on May 16, 2015 at 1:22am

Sara,

I lived with my husband for 35 years and he was diagnosed with stage four cancer on the day after Xmas 2012.  He died 25 days later.  We were so busy fighting for his life we forgot to think about how it would be if he lost it and I was left behind.  

The early ravages of grief will be unbearable.  You will think you cannot live or last another moment.  You will only be able to take baby steps.  You will reach out for any words of solace.  You will find them here.  In the meantime you will try to figure out how you will manage your own individual grief when you cant read or write enough.  And you will cry.  Trust me when I say you will cry. Rivers. You will not understand or be able to stop it from happening.  It is what happens.  Anything and everything will trigger it.  I just let it happen. And come here to talk and read.  

There is a thread called "Lost my spouse" on here that is active a lot with other people who have lost their beloved.  Join us.  We are a lifeline for you (I think) because we are experiencing that which you are and know what it "feels" like.  Some of us have been enduring this for quite awhile and others are at earlier stages.  You will get honest and empathetic understanding of what the loss of your beloved is like for others in the same situation. But this is your loss and your grief and no one can tell you what you will feel..

My advice, take baby steps.  And they will be much smaller than you anticipate so don't set yourself up for too much.  One hour or one minute at a time…………..

Take care,

morgan