Still lost

My 25th wedding anniversary is tomorrow and I am more lost than ever I miss my husband so much the pain of losing him is harder everyday my heart is in a million pieces and next month it will be two years since he left I'm only still here because I promised him otherwise I would be gone because life without him is no life at all and I will be forever broken without him and I will never understand why and anyone who says that time will heal you is a liar because the more time goes by the more lonely and empty I am I am lost

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Permalink Reply by Susan K on August 14, 2017 at 9:59am

Hi Pamela,

I am sorry for your pain. I have the same emptiness. I lost my husband six months ago and it has only gotten harder. I realized after the shock of his death wore off of others, I am left alone to deal with the void. I am going through the motions of life but I find most things meaningless without him. So I understand why you are lost. I think its just that the things we once cared about mean nothing now, I find myself listening to my family and friends talk and I don't care. I am hoping that it changes or gets easier, I am only 48 I cant see me living another 30 years like this. All I can say is just take it one moment at a time and try to live a life your husband would want you to...Tomorrow will be hard but think of the happiness and love you shared..I will raise a glass for you! God Bless.

Susan

Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on August 14, 2017 at 12:26pm
Thankyou Susan I appreciate that and I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain I sincerely hope that you also will be able to take one day at a time and if you ever need to vent I want you to know that I'm here for you as well,you are new to this thing we call grief and everybody handles it in their own way and that's OK that's the one thing I have learned is that it's OK to hurt it's OK to be sad and it's OK to cry and believe me I do all of those things a lot and I will raise a glass to my husband Mark thankyou for your beautiful words of encouragement god bless
Permalink Reply by Pamela philipp on August 14, 2017 at 3:22pm

Kim first I want to express my sorrow for your loss and I want you to know this website is a great support system you can vent anytime you need and that is why I am on this site because this is my support system, my family abandoned  me after I lost my mother on 9/6/2015 then I lost my husband 9/14/2015 and have been on my own since and I found this site and now at least I have a place to vent and know that people here truly understand how we feel so if you ever need to talk I'm here

Permalink Reply by Marie Salas on August 15, 2017 at 6:39am
Double grief must be difficult. Please accept my condolences on the death of your mother and husband. I lost my husband 10 yrs ago this November 12.
Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on August 14, 2017 at 5:12pm

Hi Pamela,

I lost my Husband 4 yeas ago and am still lost and will be until I join him.

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on August 15, 2017 at 2:48pm

Anne,

You said it perfectly.

Permalink Reply by Marie Salas on August 15, 2017 at 6:36am
I felt the same as you do now. Two years is a short time since you lost your spouse. My beloved husband is now gone ten years and I am now beginning to enjoy like with only a few occasional tears. I know that he would want me to enjoy life. Please now that in time you will feel better. You will be able to relive beautiful memories with your husband and feel happy.

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