Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on September 8, 2016 at 3:12pm

Same thing here.  Not only the same but a FRIEND of my husband's asking me how much $$$ John left me, were my home and cars paid for?  He wanted to know HOW MUCH I HAVE.  I wanted to tell him to kiss my behind.  My husband would have had fits.  I have also had other FRIENDS tell me to call anytime.  Is there a problem with anyone calling me? 
What I have learned from this is NOT to treat people the way they have treated me.  NOT to "do onto others".

Some people are pathetic.

Permalink Reply by Denise on September 9, 2016 at 6:49am

Oleta I totally agree with you, what is wrong with people calling you?? Out of all the family and friends who said, " I will call" or those who say "Call me if you need anything" only two cousins and one friend actually follow through. These 3 have called, gone out with me and have just been there when other have run from me like I have a communicable disease. I am so appreciative to have these 3 people who are a constant in my life and I let them know how important they have become to me. I have also promised myself that I will never abandon a friend after the loss of a loved one. I know how devastating and lonely that feels and I will never inflict this onto another person.

The nosey people who ask about the finances are just crude and unfortunately, they have always had this personality trait, we just never had the experiences which allowed them to show us just how classless  and pathetic they are.

Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on September 9, 2016 at 9:05am

Denise,  I too have had friends and neighbors RUN from me.  When I go out to get the mail, if there is a neighbor standing there they turn around and go inside.  I wonder if they think "widowhood" is catchy?  I have one neighbor who was crazy about my husband, really liked him and he has not said one word.  He runs.  Like I have the Plague.  My favorite cousin called me daily from another state daily, for three months.  She saved my life.  John's favorite sister calls once every week or two. Others don't want to know how I am doing.  So, I pretty much ignore them.  Prior to the loss of  John, this was a friendly neighborhood.  And yes, those people who said, "call if you need anything".....they didn't mean it.  Even my one remaining sibling in CA. has not had contact in months and has not answered my email.  They are so frightened.  This site has been a life saver.

Permalink Reply by pamela winmill on September 9, 2016 at 11:17pm

We have been friends with our neighbours for 35 years been on holidays every year had dinner parties bbq mostly at our house, been on weekend aways, my husband even helped one of them in financial difficulty, now they run if they see me, one day they will suffer like me and i will treat them like they have treated me, how people you have been close to all them years can treat you so bad is appalling, im writing this at 5 in the morning because i took a friend of my daughter in for a few weeks because she had nowhere to live, woke up at 3 to see a van parked outside my house the man reversed it up the street and when i looked another one was being let out of my home by this woman, when i confronted her she said she had to get something from her car i said i saw the man leaving my home she then said she had his wallet, my house stinks of beer, so again you do something nice for someone and they stab you in the back, cant win whatever i do !

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