Hi Everyone,

I hope it is okay to post in here since Kriss and I weren't quite married yet.  We lived together for 3 years and were planning our wedding.  We had a lot of trouble recently.  Kriss had been clean for 11 years and was trying to learn the skills to parent his very very special needs daughter.  He was too rough with her one day and we lost her to the county.  I told him to take the year to better himself.  I helped him to get a small apartment and we dated all the time and talked and texted many times a day.  At the end of the year, when he proved himself healthy, we were going to all live together again and marry.  I love him with every bit of my being, but he got scared and thought maybe he couldn't beat his anger and mental illness.  He started huffing again and died a week later.  I thought he just had a flu.  My heart is totally broken.  He was my love and my best friend.  I was upset about the incident, but I believed in him.  We walked everywhere holding hands.  I am only 37 and I feel like my heart is gone.  I don't know how I can live without this man.  He says he will always be with me and I won't have to but sometimes I feel so alone.  Thank you for listening.

Wendy