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Permalink Reply by Oleta Cato on March 31, 2017 at 11:40am

Kevin,  I only dreamed of John the night he died.  I couldn't sleep so I put on his p.j.s, had a large glass of straight whiskey and slept.  A few hours into my sleep, he was standing by the bed, he had on Levi's and a sport shirt.  He put his arms out and I woke to see it was not real.  I have not dreamed of him since.  I don't remember my dreams so this was unusual.  I am at the depths of depression right now.  Our wedding anniv. would have been April 4th.  His b'day was Mar. 20th.  Too much, too close.  I can't seem to function.  My son tells me I need to talk to a professional.  He may be right. I honestly don't have any idea how people live through this.  I am so tired of putting on a good face and a smile for others.  No one wants to see me depressed or know what's going on in my mind.  I'm so glad for the understand of all of you people who are in the same boat.  God bless.

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