Lost my husband way to soon.

Hello. I have never joined a chat a group. I lost my husband 4 months ago. I am 46 y/o and he was the love of my life. I have an amazing support system, but none of them truly understand what I'm going thru. I just don't care about anything, I should care about things like the yard, chores, etc but I just don't. My entire world has been devastated & all I want is to have him back. People say they understand, but how can they. It takes effort just to pay bills or get dressed every day. I go out with friends or family & tell them I'm doing fine. The truth is, I'm not fine, I can't go for more than 48 hours without having a meltdown. I still haven't even thrown out his toothbrush, I just can't bring myself to do these things. Please don't tell me time will heal my pain, because it doesn't. Time just allows me to live without my husband & this is something I have to learn to do. I still wake up every day thinking this can't be real. And I keep wondering if there was anything I could have done better to help him with his illness. I'm not sure why I'm even doing this chat thing or if I'm even doing it right. I guess I thought if I put my feelings out there in cyberspace that maybe I'd feel better. Lisa

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Permalink Reply by Ruthie on October 12, 2016 at 11:19am

There are true caring people in this cyberspace and understand this unbearable pain. Prayers for you Lisa.  I am 49, also a young widow, which makes it almost harder because we have to live longer without them.  Take Care

Permalink Reply by Elynn m on October 17, 2016 at 2:11pm

Lisa, I am sorry for your loss.   I lost my husband,(after 41 years of marraige) in Sept 2015 (a year ago).   You are right.  Family is very kind and helpful, but they can't relate to what has happened unless they've been through it.  I've also found out that one close friend is all we need. it hasn't really been easier with time for me either. Don't let others try to rush you through your grief...take your time. The worst time for me is in the evening and at night when we used to talk. I miss him so much I even put a pillow on his side of the bed. It makes  me think he's still with me at night. Sounds silly but it helps me think he is still here.  Everyone has different ways of grieving.  The pain will continue, I think it comes in waves of good to bad.  We can try to remember the good times, but pain will still be there.  I don't think people should tell us not to worry about guilt, because it's part of grieving and we have to go through it.   You were wise to join this group.   God Bless.

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