I've become numb.

Annette passed May 19th. I was devastated that my soulmate had gone. After being inconsolable and a fountain of tears, over night a few days ago, I was suddenly numb.  I find it hard to care about anything other than our son James. I'm putting on a great show I think, but it is just a show. If it weren't for my boy I would join Annette. Im scared of what happens next, and wonder if I'll ever care again. I'm counting the days that I'll be raising our wonderful 14 year old, but look forward to joining her soon after.

This whole thing has been hell, and I guess I have just given up hope for anything better. I just need to keep a smile face on the outside.

Views: 292

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on July 2, 2017 at 7:00am

Dear Ronnie,

My husband has been gone 4 years, died of colon cancer, I have been numb since the day he died, I just go through the everyday motions. My broken heart will never heal.

Linda

Permalink Reply by Maxey on July 16, 2017 at 1:11pm
Hi, Linda,

It has been almost two years since I lost my husband,and I feel exactly as you do. No matter how much time passes, the pain never seems to ease. Every night I hope I go to sleep and the Lord takes me to join my beloved husband of 55 years.
I wish us all some peace and relief if even only for a few hours.
Permalink Reply by Ronnie Luethy on July 4, 2017 at 8:55pm

Wow. My first holiday without her has sucked. We moved to Central America a few years ago but always had some kind of celebration. I have no urge this year because I just feel dead inside. I'm glad James and I are with my parents today so he has someone to be enthusiastic with. 

I'm guessing all the holidays are going to feel empty from now on. I can't imagine how her birthday is going to be like.

Permalink Reply by Meva L Cox on July 12, 2017 at 1:11am

I have heard the firsts of everything are the worst. Going to the first great granddaughters birthday party was devastating for me. When I got in the car all by myself I cried like a baby all the way home as this was the first birthday spent without my precious Jim. I really am not looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas but I know I will make it through. Hang in There Ronnie and stay tough for your son.

Permalink Reply by Maxey on July 16, 2017 at 1:16pm
Hi, Ronnie,
I know this feeling of being numb; I now look in the mirror some days and wonder who I am at this point. I see a face, but I am not able to connect any more. After 55 years with my husband, I truly feel that part of my soul is missing. I go through the days like a robot counting each one as one more day closer to leaving this earth and joining my husband. That is my only consolation.
I hope you know that all of the replies here are so sincere. We all feel your pain and heartbreak and wish you some comfort and relief.
Peace to you
Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on July 16, 2017 at 3:27pm

The only time peace will be with me is when I join my Husband, he was my everything.

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Wanda is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
38 minutes ago
Welcome Them!
david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Jan 15
0 Comments
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 15
Welcome Them!
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
Jan 14
0 Comments
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Jan 14
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Welcome Them!
Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
Thumbnail

Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Jan 12
61 Comments
Krystal Swinehart joined Dayna's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Jan 12
1 Comment

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service