My husband of 12 years passed away in September leaving me with 2 young daughters.  I was dreading the holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. I've been dividing my time between his family and mine.  I feel a sense of responsibility to maintain many of the traditions we shared together to keep some sort of consistency for my girls. I got more and more anxious as those days approached, but surprisingly when the actual holiday arrived I felt okay.  My girls helped pull me through the holidays...all of them.  It's not that I wasn't sad or missing him tremendously, but my girls helped me realize that there is still joy to be had in this world. New Years was especially difficult for me. My husband and I shared our first kiss in Times Square on New Years Eve 1999. He proposed to me in his tiny apartment that would later become our first home together in 2003. I was also sad to let go of 2016...it was the last memories that we created together as a family.  But as 2017 begins I also realize that I have many new memories to create with my daughters and even though my husband and their father will not be physically present, he will always be a part of us.