Its been 9 months and I still feel like I'm in a time warp.  My mind keeps searching for Ricky but doesn't know where to look.  I keep hoping he will walk through the door and end this nightmare.  I am getting along okay day to day but still cling to our life and he must be here somewhere but where?  Its like a cruel trick. I'm glad for this site to get it off my chest and y'all listening to my thoughts is a big comfort.